The first 200 lines.
Okay, time to eat. Let's see... Open the app.
I'm gonna get a double pepperoni pizza,
order of breadsticks,
and, well, lasagna. Yeah.
New item alert? Jalapeño breadstick quick bites.
It might be nice to have something in the salad family.
And do I want dessert?
I'm gonna be naughty, butterscotch budino.
Okay, I'm gonna have five.
Delivery?
Goes without saying. Now, please.
All right, that ought to hold me 'til breakfast.
Hey! Wait, are you guys early or am I late?
No matter. I have got a real treat for you today.
No, not a treat for you.
Okay.
Anyway, about that treat.
Can I just say, you will not be disappointed?
It's a story about me that no one's ever heard before,
featuring someone in my life you've never met.
I don't know about you, but color me intrigued.
Yeah, drone delivery.
Welcome to the future.
You know, to really understand everything,
I'm gonna have to take you back to where it all began.
Don't want anything to take away from the flavor of the cheese.
And like every great story, it all started...
on a dark and stormy night.
Wait here, Junior. I'll be right back.
...moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
- That's amore - When the world seems to shine
Like you've had too much wine That's amore
That's amore
- Bells will ring - Ting-a-ling-a-ling
- Ting-a-ling-a-ling - And you'll sing "vita bella"
Vita bella, vita bella
- Open wide, Jake. - Hearts will play
Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay Like a gay tarantella
Lucky fella
When the stars make you drool
Just like pasta fasul That's amore
Hi there, little buddy! Hi!
When you dance down the street With a cloud at your feet
- You're in love - I'm so full.
When you walk in a dream
But you know...
- You hungry, little guy? - ...you're not dreaming, signore
- You want a little more? - Scusami, but you see
- Back in old Napoli - You are a hungry little guy.
- That's amore - That was a quick dinner,
Signore Jon.
You must have been very hungry. Can I bring you anything else?
Yes.
Thank you very much.
Some... lasagna?
- Si, lasagna for one. - Yeah.
You know what, no.
- Make it family-style. - Very good.
- To go, please, Vito. - Okay, everybody!
- What? Where'd he go? - You all know this one!
Hey!
Stand up and sing. Join with us!
No! Hey! Oh, no, I'm dancing.
Excuse me, pardon me. I hate this. What? Hey! Oh, no.
Hey!
- Hey! - Jon! Takeout for Jon!
- Hey! - Your takeout is ready,
- Signore Jon. - Yes.
One famiglia style lasagna, to go.
- You eat alone too much, Jon. - Yeah.
You should get on the dating apps.
- There's Bumble, Tinder... - I'm good, thanks.
Gluten-Free Singles...
- Hot Sauce Passions. - No, I could never...
And you should spend serious money on premium memberships.
Bye!
Hey!
Well, that was an interesting dinner...
that you had.
Well, I guess... this is where we say goodbye.
You're really cute
but I can't have pets in my apartment.
So, I'll see you around. Okay? Go on.
No. No, don't cry, don't cry.
No, no, no! No. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
You don't have a home, do you?
Scusami, but you see Back in old Napoli
- That's amore - Amore
That's amore
And that's how I adopted Jon.
So, I moved Jon out of his apartment...
to this nice little two-bed, two-bath in the suburbs.
As soon as he understood the ground rules,
well, let's just say... we were living the dream.
And once we were settled in, I even let Jon get a pet.
Odie became my most trusted ally.
He was kind, gentle...
and most importantly, my unpaid intern.
Yeah, as you can see,
life here is pretty near perfect.
Well, yeah, except for...
Time to go to the vet!
We're gonna need the big scale!
Does she need to announce it to the whole office?
No! Please, no! It's so hot, it's really hurting!
And that's why we should go from Sunday to Tuesday.
Okay. Where were we?
Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. Good morning!
What? Where'd you get that chair?
I think I was meant to be here tonight
because I was meant to meet you.
- I think we were meant to be. - That's what I meant to say.
You had me at the word, "meant."
We're gonna ride like the wind!
Faster! Harder! More insane!
Odie?
Yeah, can you put this back to normal?
There you go, just let the pepperoni's
healing powers work its magic.
You saw nothing.
Up until that moment, my life was a perfect soufflé.
Little did I know it was all about to collapse.
Imagine yourself drifting away
on a sea of tranquility.
There are no pets to bother you,
distract you or max out your credit card
by excessively placing online food orders.
Yeah... Sorry... What? Who said that?
Odie, Odie? Odie!
It's time for our midnight snack.
Thank you, good sir,
your kindness will be rewarded.
What are we feeling like today? French?
Italian? Chinese? Cupcakes? Chinese it is.
Odie, shape everything from the bottom two shelves
into a dumpling.
- Late night snackin'. - Not good for digestion!
Odie, I'm dreamin' again. Slap me across the face.
Nope. Still dreamin'.
I must be really deep in this one.
What do you guys... You want money?
I don't have any money, okay? Who carries cash anymore?
I've got Jon's credit card number memorized...
Five-5-5-2-3-8-5-7-5-5-2-1. Did you write that down?
- Expiration code is 5-5-5. - The cat is out of the bag!
I really hope this kidnapping plan works
or she'll put us down...
with her insults and cutting observations.
I think this is a case of mistaken identity.
You must be looking for another
gorgeous, lovable kitty cat, right?
Hey, hey, hey! Hey, where're you going?
No, no, come back, come back!
Odie? I'll handle this. All right, you guys.
I'm giving you to the count of three
to get back here and let us down.
One, two, three!
Four, five...
I am not kidding here!
Three hundred and eight, 309, 300...
Yeah, they're not comin'. It's over.
Am I dead?
Are you an angel?
Please, take me.
I am ready to go to that...
to that all-you-can-eat buffet in the sky.
What? Listen, I'm going to swing you out,
cut your ropes and drop you safely to that landing below.
Wait, what? That seems a tad risky.
Is there another plan that doesn't involve
cutting a rope over a 40-foot drop?
No time. We gotta get outta here before they come back.
We need to go. Come on, Junior!
Wait here, Junior. I'll be right back.
I'll be right back. I'll be right back.
- You! - Hey! Junior.
"Who is he?" This is Vic. My "father."
Look, Junior, I know how you might be upset.
Upset? Why would I be upset?
You only abandoned me in an alley as a kitten.
I'm probably just overreacting!
Oh, no, not her.
Okay, follow me, Junior. No, no, no.
You lost the privilege of telling me
what to do a long time ago.
- Hello, Vic. - Dang it!
Scare cam! You should've seen your faces!
Okay, boys, show me!
Hello, Vic.
Dang...
Post that ASAP!
What? Hey, Jinx! I haven't seen you since...
Well, no hard feelings though, right?
I don't think so.
I'm a hugger!
Part of me wants to be mad at her
for kidnapping us, but you gotta love her energy.
Where are my manners?
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