Beyond the Valley of the Dolls

I turned my eyes to lunatic skies of red destruction

Sunrise and morning empty

Hide my head

I've got to find a direction to follow

Something that's mine not something I borrowed

Each day I wait heavy's the weight on me

Find it

I've got to find it

Get me behind it

Someplace for me

Find it

Find it

Find it

Find it in me

Not even released from wanting you

You don't satisfy me enough today

Time it's too near when I will be gone away

Wearing a collar of bright crimson

Dressed in a long black wedding gown

I've got to find my answers on my own

Find it

I've got to find it

Get me behind it

Someplace for me

I turned my eyes to lunatic skies of red destruction

Sunrise and morning empty

Hide my head

Find it

A disgrace. Absolutely disgusting.

I'd like to cut that.

Find it

Find it

Find it

Find it

Find it

That was great, girls.

But rock'n'roll is not my cup of poison.

I remember when I was a young man....

I just don't understand those kids.

Well, if you had to listen to their music....

Did you see those chaperones? They were built like Khrushchev.

They weren't as bad as those D.O.M.s.

I got the money.

- 300 bucks. - One more high-school hop and I split.

Hey, don't bogart the joint, friends.

Cool it, man. I need it more than you.

I don't know. Maybe all you need is love.

Casey, let's split. The principal's gonna hit me with a couple caps of acid.

- You coming? - Yeah.

Do you believe those kids, making it all the time?

Don't get so upset, Casey. You know how Kelly is.

- Are you trying to make love to me? - Hell, no.

- Then what are you trying to do? - I'm trying not to.

Well, if you wanna make love, then let's make love.

Here?

No, in L.A.

- L.A.? - Where is that?

- We'd get crushed. - No.

- Smog. Can't see. - Climb a tall tree.

- Lousy traffic. - Love to walk.

- No culture. - Grooves.

- Cold and cruel. - Swimming pools.

- Phony city. - It's so pretty.

- Religious nuts. - Takes all kinds.

- Noisy. Noisy. - Soul-beat brother.

- Tinsel town. - Solid city.

- Gaudy. Ugly. - Gassy. Classy.

- Cheap anyhow - Yeah, like wow!

- Very dirty. - Simon-pure.

- Dull scene. - My dream.

- Square, hey? - No way!

- Sick and low. - Living show.

- It's got no class. - Nothing but.

- Empty. No heart. - Full, sweetheart.

- It's a no-talent town. - Don't put it down.

- Junkie heaven. - Not for me.

- Dishonest clowns. - Sincere, you'll see.

- Perverts. Fruits. - Swingers. Kooks.

- Obvious. Stinks. - Full-length minks.

- All strangers. - Not all.

- Like who? - My aunt.

- Since when? - Since Aunt Susan.

- Oh yeah? - Rich Aunt Susan.

- Bitch Aunt Susan. - Got my share.

- Of what? - The bread.

- Cool head. - So we go?

So go!

Come with the gentle people

Spread love across the land

Come with the gentle people

We're the only ones who understand

Come with the gentle people

Help us to ride the wave

And let us free the people

Who are on a path who are afraid

Love can be a way of life

If you open up the door

Love can overcome the fear

And life can be so much more

Come with the gentle people

Spread love across the land

Come with the gentle people

We're the only ones who understand

Come with the gentle people

Help us to ride the wave...

So all we need now is your long-lost Aunt...

- ...what's her name? - Her name is Susan Lake.

This batch has more snap. Run the rest at the same ASA.

- Long distance, Miss Lake. - Hello? Who?

Q-U-A-N-T. In London.

Yeah, that's correct. As quickly as possible.

Susan, dear, we must have a chat. The bodice is so wrong.

- Doesn't she look like a cow? - The fact is, Cynthia is not a boy.

Take off your bra, dear. That will flatten you some.

Oh Gordon, have her put it back on. Betty, tell him it's impossible.

Gordon, she looks exactly the same with or without the bra.

- Porter, explain this contract to me. - We can't get three years.

They'll go two and a half. The editor tells me that is final.

- People! - I need some time with you.

Can we discuss it at dinner? That'll give you time to talk to Vogue.

- Anything we can do for you? - That's OK...

- ...I can come back. - Out with it. We're not that frantic.

- I'm your niece. - You're Catherine's daughter?

My name's Kelly Mac Namara.

Susan! Susan! I am simply in a rage!

How did your mother learn about Aunt Claire?

The Worcester paper is where she heard about Aunt Claire's death and about...

you and Baxter Wolfe and the inheritance.

- What inheritance was that? - Mine. I was last in line after my sister.

Your mother disappeared. We were never really close. I was 14 years younger.

Now that you've come along, I think that part of it should be yours.

Susan.

Susan, you know there was no provision in the will.

- Thousand Island? - No, thank you.

You're a lawyer. You should know that wills are just paper.

I'm a lawyer, yes. And any changes Aunt Claire would or might have made...

- ...have no validity in law. - Porter, of course I know that.

Kelly, there was nearly a million dollars. I know this isn't the time or place...

but since Porter's made such a point of it, I can't see why...

say, a third of it shouldn't be yours.

- A third of a million dollars? - The two of us are the only survivors.

I don't see why you should have to pay for the sins of your mother.

Sins that seem to me that were really committed by the rest of the family.

- That's a big idea to get used to. - I'll have Porter draw up the papers.

I have a marvellous idea. Ronnie Barzell's throwing a party tonight.

Ronnie Barzell? You mean Z-Man Barzell?

The one, the only, the original.

Susan, I've got friends in a rock group.

It would mean so much for them to meet Z-Man. Can I invite them?

- Don't tell me you're a groupie. - The other way. It's my group.

Now, let me be sure I fully understand this. You are a rock'n'roll singer?

- Why? Is that a no-no? - My dear young lady....

Porter, you have an unending capacity for counterfeit astonishment.

Of course you can invite your friends. There's a phone in the living room.

I think that Ronnie's address is in my book under the B's.

Great! I'm not dressed for a party, though.

We're about the same size, and I got loads of things in my closet.

Call your friends and slip into anything you like. OK?

Oh, groovy! Thanks.

Susan, have you taken leave of your senses?

Some anonymous rock'n'roll singer drops in here out of the clear blue sky...

and you fall for a lie.

You won't believe this, but we've been invited to a party at Z-Man Barzell's.

- Is this for real? - Get Casey and Pet, and meet me there.

This creature marches in without a cent to her name and a dubious pedigree...

and without a moment's thought...

you recklessly dispose of a third of your money.

- Porter, let me handle this. - The party starts when you get there.

- Susan, please. - We're late already.

- They banned my last film in Cincinnati. - Groovy town.

When I'm with you, pussycat, who needs grass?

You'd have to see it to believe it. Of course, I nearly choked.

- And then this bitch took a drink... - He's bothered every woman at the bar.

Do you know what happened after he drank a Fresca?

- He snowed in his pants. - You know what he uses for deodorant?

- Raid. - Cool, man.

My old man really blew his mind. He said he'd kill me if he found any more grass.

- Escape, man. - All right!

- And you're a moonchild. - And you're a bitch.

- I think it's better after the change. - I'm with you.

I was ready to roll over and fall asleep.

Then Tony said, "Come over to my pad.

- I've got a wading pool of mayonnaise!" - Mayonnaise?

I found the European women far more receptive and less hung-up.

- She went after me like a barracuda. - I warned you, you old fruit.

- Classics Benjamin. - Bad trip.

- It wasn't long, but four inches thick. - Ever been whipped with a wand...

- ...until the blood came? - Cool it! You'll rupture your tongue.

Feel it, my pretty? The night is filled with magic.

- Mark my words, dove, tonight is special. - I was so anxious, I stepped on her face.

Susan, Porter, how are you?

Ronnie, see who's here.

- I'll say it. Haven't I seen you before? - You saw her at my studio this afternoon.

- Ronnie, this is my niece, Kelly. - Every inch as ugly as you are, Susan.

Must run in the family.

I'd like you to meet Vanessa, my escort and bodyguard.

- Pleasure. - Come on, babe. I'll show you the dump.

Come with me, I want to show you the most divine clairvoyant.

...that the people all called L.A.

Went to school in the great big city...