The Flash

[If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago playing]

- Have a brilliant day. - Yeah, thank you.

You too.

Morning. What can I get you?

Where's curly-hair lady? - Sara?

She's out sick. Or at least,

that's what she says. - Oh.

She's got a new boyfriend.

What can I get you?

Usually it's my usual

and she usually has it ready because I'm usually late.

Well, don't keep me in suspense.

Um, it's a PB and BRHC on a roll.

Okay, so...

"PB" would be peanut butter, I'm assuming? - Yes.

"BR," bananas, raisins. "H," honey. "C," cheese on a roll.

Aren't you blessed with a fast metabolism.

Are you running a marathon or something?

You know, my sister ran a marathon once, God rest her soul.

She's not dead. She's just exhausted.

We get it, Sharon. You ran. -

But everyone has to work in the morning.

Yeah, I have to go to work, three minutes ago.

And, sorry, I'm in sort of a rush for the sandwich.

You can't rush a good sandwich, dude.

Alfred, really can't talk.

Good morning, Mr. Allen.

No, I'm late.

And I'm starving, and curly-haired girl isn't here

and her name is Sara, and she has a boyfriend.

We have a situation at Gotham General.

A robbery gone wrong.

This is the middle of the morning.

Why is our bat-friend even awake?

Call Superman.

That was my first thought.

Sadly, he's otherwise engaged.

- Active volcano in Central America. - Classic.

What about Diana?

My other first thought.

Rather annoyingly, she's not picking up.

How many first thoughts, exactly, did you have before you first thought of me?

...never about her.

- This is about you. - Hi, sorry. Is my sandwich...

I learned my lesson

on the boat last year.

Stuff my sister comes out with when she's drunk.

Personal comments about my mom's friends as well,

which I think is what I say about her...

Oh, my God! -

Flash!

Hi. Thank you. - I love you.

You seem very nice also. - Oh, my God!

- No way! - I think I'm gonna die!

Patching you into Mr. Wayne.

No, please don't. -

Oh, my God.

Sorry if this sounds weird, but are you actively eating that candy bar?

Maybe you could throw it to me?

In the name of justice. - Yes, yes.

I need you here now, Barry.

Hi, Bruce. Yes, I'm...

coming.

No!

No, no!

Bruce, this is a huge mess.

Why aren't you here?

Bruce, why does it sound like you're fleeing the scene?

Falcone's idiot kid decided to try to play in the big leagues.

He put a crew together and broke into the lab at Gotham General.

Stole a highly deadly virus.

I intercepted them, but they blasted their way out.

You can handle the hospital, Barry.

Somebody has to save the rest of the world, so I was gonna do that.

If you don't mind.

Sounds about right, Bruce.

"Thanks for saving me from the sinkhole, Flash."

Barry, gas and water pipes ruptured.

In the basement.

Right.

On it.

Can you open it?

I think it's locked. - It's jammed.

God, it's not working!

Oh, please!

Look, Alfred. I've come to accept

that I'm essentially the janitor of the Justice League.

Which sucks.

But I've come to accept it.

But...

I can't help but notice...

that it always seems to be a bat-mess...

that I'm cleaning up.

Right this way. Eyes forward. - Yes.

- Stay together, now. - Yeah, I know, right?

Look out!

Wow. Whoa. - What?

If my calculations are correct,

and history will prove they usually are,

the foundational damage is about to cause the collapse of the east wing.

- East wing's fine. - All right, I got you.

Which is good because my speed is lagging.

- - Running on empty, Alfred.

- - Do you hear that?

That's my stomach.

No, no.

It's the collapsing east wing.

Barry, 30th floor.

There's a baby...

Shower.

Oh!

Oh!

Mr. Allen,

you've made me very proud.

And a lot of mothers very happy.

Oh!

Yeah.

Okay.

I understand that these events can be psychologically scarring.

You should seek the services of a mental health professional.

The Justice League is not very good at that part yet.

Trust me.

God.

- Shake him off! -

If that briefcase falls into the water,

it could wipe out half of Gotham by lunchtime.

- Damn it. - Please don't drop me.

Oh, God, no. Please, please don't.

No!

Sorry I'm late.

Watch your step.

- Hi. - Hey.

Nice suit.

Looking good, Flash.

Oh, uh... Thank... Uh...

And you...

are welcome.

My ego's far too big to say "thank you" to someone else.

Hmm.

I developed this...

all-powerful persona to compensate for my childhood trauma...

I, too, have childhood trauma.

Batman seems crazy.

The Lasso of Truth... - Billion dollar. She's the mother...

...never gets old.

I'd do a lot better just giving all my money away.

Yes, if I really wanted to end crime, I should end poverty.

I know sex exists.

I've just never experienced it.

Damn it.

Well...

I have to run.

Yeah.

Always a pleasure.

The sex thing was a metaphor...

for gothic literature.

There was just no way to recover from that.

Just let it go.

Well, I'd really love to stay and clean up more mess...

but this little superhero needs his breakfast.

Goodbye, Flash.

Yeah. Bye, Batman.

Well done, Mr. Wayne.

Will you be home for breakfast, sir?

- -