Looperheroes

¶

- All right, we have all day to build my hot tub.

I sent my parents to Sea Land,

home of Flabby, the world's chubbiest whale.

- I heard you could see his blubber from space.

You're home?!

I mean, yeah, you're home.

- Yeah, 'cause that chubby whale

kept splashing me for no reason.

- Hank, you kept eating all his sardines.

- I thought it was free sushi.

Who's this? - Uh...

this is my new classmate, Wendell.

He just moved here.

- Max, he looks old enough to be my classmate.

Wendell Goldfarb, Metroberg High?

Hank the Tank!

- Oh, okay, the reunion's over. Take five.

A hot tub in your lair?

Absolutely not!

- I'm not building a hot tub.

- Hey, Max, is this bikini okay for the hot tub?

There's not gonna be one...

and gross!

- So, I should return my other bikinis?

- BARB, HANK, MAX: Yes!

- Max, you can't just do stuff like this

without checking with us, first.

- Hey, if I just checked with you about everything,

I would never have a boat.

What boat?

- Don't go changing the subject.

- Why do you have to get the mail

before your parents see it?

Are you hiding a report card?

Phoebe Thunderman got a bad grade.

- Don't you joke about that, Cherry--

ever!

No, I ordered something

my parents would never let me have.

Oh, it's here!

- Oh, sign here. - Okay.

Initial here...

and thumbprint here.

- You don't need a retinal scan?

Oh, you do.

- Ooh, what kind of bad, bad things

did you order, Phoebe?

Peppers.

- Don't throw your life away for--

Wait. Peppers?

- Yeah, I discovered different peppers

do different things to my heat breath.

My parents say the peppers will mess up my powers.

But I say they'll make me

a more awesome superhero.

Here, let's see what the Fijian Face Melter can do.

- Whoa! That was scary and festive!

I know!

Bad guys won't know whether to scream in fear

or scream, "Happy New Year!"

- But how are you gonna sneak those

past your mom and dad?

- Oh, pffft! It won't be hard.

They're yelling at Max.

When they're focused on him, I'm completely invisible.

- And another thing, that hot tub is dangerous.

- Oh, please, how is a large tub of water

filled with electrical equipment dangerous?

- Water and electricity do not mix!

I play a risky game every day

just taking a shower.

- You know, you guys never let me do anything.

Oh...

- A hover toilet, a cliff-diving school,

using the animalizer to turn Billy into a T-Rex.

It's always no.

- See? Completely invisible.

Hey, Phoebe is--

- Don't bring Phoebe into this.

She's not even here.

But she's--

- The one you should be more like. We know.

- Listen, young man, this is our house,

so, you will follow our rules.

Fine!

I'm going to my lair.

- I think you mean our lair.

Uh-huh? Uh-huh?

Parents!

¶

- Try to hit this fastball, Billy.

Nice pitch, Billy!

- Show yourself, pizza face!

- Come on, Princess Bobo,

save some cookies for the rest of us.

What a day.

We're playing outside, having a blast,

about to be hit by the Thundervan.

Thundervan?

Wait!

Beep-beep, kids.

- Dad, what are you doing?

This driveway is no place for a car.

- Well, the city keeps giving me parking tickets,

so, now I've gotta keep it in the driveway.

- But-- - Hey, don't blame me.

Blame Johnny Law!

- Now we have to find somewhere else to play.

- I know a great place in Madagascar.

- She meant in this country.

¶

- All right, Gideon, you're sure no one

saw you come down here with that jackhammer, right?

- Nobody, not even your mom.

Which reminds me,

is she into guys with power tools?

- Remember when you told me I could hit you

when you go too far? - I do.

All right, let's do this.

Thanks to my parents' stupid rules,

I need you to help me build my hot tub.

- When I've had enough of my parents,

I go to my Grandpa Giddy's penthouse.

He doesn't have any rules.

- Oh, that sounds awesome.

My grandpa just sends me hand-me-down socks.

These were knitted in World War II.

All right, you're sure the jackhammer

is super-silent, right?

- Yeah, the guy at the hardware store

charged me extra for the silent model.

- I think he lied to me!

Turn it off!

What?

- Uh... Gideon!

I told you my parents said no hot tub.

Why would you try to force such luxury on me?

- Gideon, will you give us a minute?

- Barb, I'd give you the whole day.

Got it. Too far.

- I thought we were clear when we said

no dangerous hot tub in the lair.

- My bikinis need to be seen!

Dude, not helping.

- Max, we warned you and now you are grounded.

You can't ground me.

I already live underground.

- Then you are undergrounded.

But I'm a superhero.

Superhero or not,

as long as you live under our roof,

you have to follow our rules.

- Well, maybe I shouldn't live under your roof, anymore.

What are you saying?

I'm saying...

that I'm moving out.

No-o-o-o-o-o!

Wait, am I coming with you?

Definitely not.

No-o-o-o-o-o!

¶

¶ What you see ¶

¶ Is not what you get ¶

¶ Livin' our lives with a secret ¶

¶ We fit right in ¶

¶ Bet you never guessed ¶

¶ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ¶

¶ Just like all the rest ¶

¶ A picture perfect family ¶

¶ Is what we try to be ¶

¶ Look closer, you might see ¶

¶ The crazy things we do ¶

¶ This isn't make believe ¶

¶ It's our reality ¶

¶ Just your average family ¶

¶ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ¶

¶ Livin' a double life ¶

- That's right, Hank and Barbara,

you won't have me to kick around

with your stupid rules.

Max Thunderman doesn't live here anymore!

- And just where do you think you're gonna live, Mister?

- I'm moving into Grandpa Giddy's no-rules penthouse.

You are?

- See? Gideon says it's okay.

- You know what? Move out.

It'll be a good learning experience for ya.

- Yeah, maybe even learn to wash your own underwear.

I won't need to.

I'll just turn them inside out.

- He'll be back by dinnertime.

No, I won't.

Because I can take care of myself.

Gideon, help me with my stuff?

Come on, Gideon.

- Sorry about the jackhammer.

¶

This is awful.

- Yeah, it's a little flakey,