The Warrior's Way

Okay. Settle down.

Got your ears open?

This is the story of a sad flute

a laughin' baby and a weepin' sword.

A long, long time ago in a land fan far away,

there lived a warrior...

warrior with empty eyes.

He'd trained his entire life for one purpose.

To be the greatest swordsman in the history of mankind.

He 'd just achieved his life’s ambition,

but his heart felt emptier than even

These two clans had been warrin' for 500 years.

And they vowed to keep on warrin' until one of them

didn't have a single man left above Styx.

And so now, here he was,

peerin' down at this very last of his enemy.

When that little warrior princess giggled,

it did somethin' to him inside.

But this was no time for feelin '.

For when spared that baby's life,

he put his name at the top of his own clan 's death list.

With nothin' but the clothes on his back and the baby in his arms,

he decided to pay a visit to an old warrior friend in a faraway land.

Hey, Johnny.

I don't like your stinkin' face.

Easy, Ronald.

The name's Eight-Ball. Like in the game.

Good luck for some, bad luck for others.

How can I assist you, my friend from the mystical East?

Uh-oh.

Haven't been here since Smiley kicked the bucket.

Was a 3-day wait just to get your shirts pressed.

For a guy who cleaned sheets all day, he sure liked to make a mess

in the after-hours, if you know what I mean.

See you in the morning.

You came to me to be strong.

I have made you the strongest.

She will always be the enemy.

Here it is.

Just rub some on your shoulder.

Smiley's Oriental cure-all. Works like a charm.

Now, honey, I didn't forget about you.

It's alright there. It's okay. Ssh, ssh, ssh.

Sorry about the tap I gave ya. I thought you knew the sword.

Smiley was always yabberin' on about a guy who was gonna roll into town.

But I shoulda figured. What do you call her?

I do not know.

Oh. She's not yours?

Where's her folks?

Dead.

Oo-ee, best we ind you another diaper.

Alright.

Smiley like your uncle or something?

Friend.

Well, if you were his friend, maybe he would like for you

to take over his laundry.

-- Do not know how. -- So I'll teach ya.

I always done the laundry around here.

That's how I repaid Smiley for teaching me the sword.

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

You stay here, I'll teach you how to tie a diaper properly.

We'll be partners, 60:40. You are the 40.

Alright now, time to get to work.

Dang, you're slower than molasses in January.

You clean that real good, yellow boy.

As clean as Snow White's panties--

If I ind the smallest bit of condor crap on my fancy duds...

-- Well, we gonna have us-- -- (crunch)

Didn't I tell you I'd rip 'em off if you don't watch yourself?

Let go, evil midget!

Come on, Eight-Ball, we were just havin' us some fun.

-- Really? -- Ah! (grunts)

Okay... okay... Let go.

-- (laughs) -- Get outta here!

How 'bout a home-cooked meal for you and your little 'un?

Once that Ferris wheel is finished, it's gonna bring everybody rushin' back,

And then we can take the word "travelling" out of "travelling circus."

Hey, Ron.

Welcome to the Eighth Wonder of the World!

Get down here! The chow bell ringin'!

Ha!

Bravo, bravo.

Gonna grab some vittles with us?

No thanks. Not hungry.

I-I-I b-baked a cake.

Come on, Ron!

What the hell's up with her?

You, I knew you was trouble the moment you walked into this--

Sounds even better from inside.

You ever seen one of these before?

The sound it's makin'? it's called "opera."

Day my poppa found his first chunk of gold,

he went out and bought this thing.

Listen. Here's my favorite part.

So at the edge of the desert, in a busted town full of broken people,

the warrior began to learn stuff he shoulda learned a long time ago.

No, no! Rough!

Like the joy of gettin' dirty things clean.

Yes!

Woo hoo! That's me! Thank you!

I told you to aim at the line, not at the coin!

All right! (laughs)

He also learned the joy of losing.

You're gonna need blood and bone of about 100 dead buffaloes as fertilizer.

Smiley always tried to get something to grow.

Never, ever lasted too long.

He learned you could be happy workin' with folks.

And findin' the simple peace in some private time

after a hard day's work.

What's takin' you so long?

Come on, Skinny! You gonna miss it. Come on.

And he found that it's nice to have a few friends around

when the sun goes down.

But most of all, the warrior learned there's a heck of a lot more pleasure

makin' things grow than there is in cuttin' 'em down.

You bunch of pups! Gimme back that goddamn bottle!

You win, Show me what you got.

God damn! I shoulda never taught you this game!

You a shark with a poker face.

What happened to her?

Please! Help me!

-- Help me! -- Lynne!

-- Please! Let her go! -- Someone, help me!

-- Eight-Ball! -- Lynne!!

Hungry?

No?

Pretty thing.

Aagh!

Agh! Aah!

Damn you!

Noooo!

No! Lynne! Lynne!

Agh!

No!!

No!!

Only thing was, when we went to bury her,

she was still breathing.

Never known nobody that close to kickin' it.

We didn't know what to do wit' her, if’s she was gonna live or die.

So we just put her in bed and waited.

Two days, and she was eating soup.

By the day three, she was already sitting up somehow

and slinging daggers at the wall.

But God ain't fair.

And some people just ain't cut out for the knife.

Dang it. My arm ain't worth a damn.

It is not your arm.

What'd you say?

Ouch!

Now you sure about this?

'Cause I'm not so good with my eyes open.

Throw.

I can't do it.

Do not talk. Focus.

It is your heart that shakes.

You dead?

Not yet.

Sure you're not fountainin' blood or anything, are ya?

Oh, shit!

Ha!

I did it!

Thank you, Mr. Sad Flute.

Smiley told me everything.

I just taught you to focus.

Why you do that?

Okay. I've always been dyin' to know.

Why are y'all called The Sad Flutes?

So you got lady Sad Flutes, too?

Sad Flutinas or somethin'?

YES.

Wow! That's nice.

Jumpin' in the moonlight and kissin'

as you both fly under the stars to the tunes of The Sad Flutes--

We are called Sad Flutes because when you cut the throat,

the last sound is like a sad flute.

Dang!

Skinny, sure know how to throw a dead cat into a party room, don't ya?

Why'd you become a Sad Flute?

To be strong.

That it?

My father was working in the Held.

I was helping him.

A swordsman came.

Killed my father.

Just to test his sword.

That musta hurt you somethin' bad.

Not hurt. Angry.

Course.

No.