Perry Mason: The Case of the Wicked Wives

Mr.

Palmer, you told police that you saw a suspicious-looking man outside of the

apartment building when you left that evening.

Is he here in court?

The man in the red tie.

I ask that the record reflect that the witness identified the defendant.

No further questions.

Mr. Caruso?

In Redding jail by Redding town there is a pit of shame.

And in it lies a wretched man eaten by teeth of flame.

In a burning winding sheet he lies and his grave has got no name.

And there till Christ call forth the dead in silence let him lie.

No need to waste the foolish tear or heave the windy sigh.

The man had killed the thing he loved.

And so he had to die.

Do you recognize that, Mr. Palmer?

No, I don't.

It's called The Ballad of Redding Jail by Oscar Wilde.

It was the subject of a lecture you said you attended the night of your wife's murder.

You see, they changed the program that night.

And the professor who was supposed to lecture on Lord Byron took ill.

But you couldn't know that, could you, Mr. Palmer?

Because you weren't there.

Of course I was.

I just forgot about the poem.

Where's this going, Your Honor?

I'll be there shortly.

Proceed.

Mr. Palmer, when is the first time you met the defendant, Mr. Ramirez?

The first time I saw him was outside my building.

Are you sure?

Are you sure you didn't first see him in a place called Dooley's Bar?

Are you sure you didn't get him drunk and convince him to Rob your apartment, which you told him would be empty?

Why?

Why would I Rob my own apartment?

Your wife had a bad habit of buying expensive jewelry, which you needed to support your bad habit, cocaine.

Mr. Palmer is not on trial here, Your Honor.

Your Honor, my client is on trial for his life, and I must request a full

exploration of the facts so that I may demonstrate his innocence.

Overruled.

Isn't it true, Mr. Palmer, that you set your door alarm so that when Mr.

Ramirez came into the apartment, he would be caught there, along with the body of your

murdered wife, which you had left in the bathroom?

Your Honor.

Your wife was in the bathroom, applying, I think they call them acrylic nails.

But when the police found her body, three of those nails were not attached to her fingers.

Well, the police had their killer, so they didn't bother to look.

But I did, and I found them on the bathroom floor, defense exhibit G.

And do you know what I think, Mr. Palmer?

I think you came up behind her, and when you were strangling the last bit

of breath from her body, she reached back and scratched at her attacker and broke off those three acrylic nails.

Do you always wear turnbull and asser?

Excuse me?

Your shirt.

Sometimes.

Will you show the court your neck?

Show the court, Mr. Palmer.

The other side, please.

But all men kill the thing they love.

By all, let this be heard.

Some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word.

The coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword.

And now, Mr. Palmer, will you not finally tell us the truth?

Move for a dismissal.

The people concur.

Case dismissed.

Take the witness into custody.

All rise.

Congratulations.

There.

He is.

Mr. Caruso, let's get him.

We just got a few questions.

Did you know Ramirez was innocent when you took the case?

From the moment I laid eyes on him.

You can read mine, too, Anthony.

Do you want me to read yours?

Go, what's next?

Well, oh, Milano, Firenze, Napoli, Tutte la Bella cosa d'Italia, Michelangelo.

Will you excuse me?

I see a friend.

Hey.

So nice to meet you.

Nice to see you.

Anthony, I think I caught you at the wrong time.

No, no, no, it's never the wrong time for you.

How are you, my dear?

David needs your help.

Are you free for dinner?

Yes.

Let's go.

Why didn't David tell me he was facing bankruptcy?

He didn't want to admit he had made bad investments.

Yeah, he knew I'd jump right down his throat.

Uh-huh.

What about his work?

The last I heard, David was in Paris photographing Dior's collection for Vogue.

That was five years ago, Anthony.

David hasn't worked since.

I'm afraid his style is thought of as passé.

Elegance and beauty are now passé.

Requiescat in pacem.

I will never accept it.

You sound like David.

But he's had an idea that could turn things around for him.

So he sent you to get me so I can help him pull off this project?

Brainstorm, whatever it is.

He wants to reunite the models he made famous in the 70s and 80s.

Abby, Jane, Shelley, and Nina for one fabulous session.

He's not talking about photography, Anthony.

He's talking about art.

Contemporary art.

Warhol's Marilyn times five.

He's including me, too.

What do you think?

I think David has lost his mind.

Let me iterate the obvious.

David's ex-models are also David's ex-wives.

I'm the fellow who negotiated all four divorces.

And if memory serves, Jane, Shelley, Nina, and Abby are not exactly fond of Mr.

David Morrison at this point in history.

But they like you, Anthony.

You were as kind to them as you've been to me.

They'll do it for you.

I admire you, Dee.

I really do.

There's no other woman in the world who would want her husband reunited with his

ex-wives, no matter how important, whatever the reason.

I love David.

I believe in his love for me, his talent, and this project.

Well, David is an artist.

The Modern Art Museum is funding this, Anthony.

Eventually, these photographs will become part of a major exhibit.

What model wouldn't want to be a part of this project?

Are you and David still in Denver?

Yes, we are.

I have an old friend.

Yeah, who has an office.

Maybe I can make arrangements to use it.

Thank you.

Okay.

Listen, you carry the salad.

We are about to experience Linguini a la Caruso.

Avanti, Cara.

Hello, Anthony.

How nice to hear from you.

Yeah, I suppose I could come.

You want me to fly out Wednesday, October 3rd?

Anthony.

Anthony, why do you want to see me?

You're Mr. Paul as some dynamo, running his company and banks and making all the plans for your wedding.

And now I hear he's thinking of politics.

How do you keep up with him?

Spins the thrize on activity.

That's why he's so successful.

Miss Marlowe, it's a Mr. Caruso.

Oh.

Okay.

Anthony.

How delightful.

How are you?

You want me to go where?

Hello.

Anthony?

Yeah?

Oh, sure.

Sure, I'll come.

Anthony?

Can you loan me some money, please?

Come on, this is taking forever.

Just a sec, babe.

We're going for perfect.

Perfect?

I am perfect.

This won't be my 14th elegance.

Oh, you're great.

You're great, babe.

Could you take just one step closer?

Excuse me.

What is this?

I'm sorry, Nina.

It's from America.

Better be Hillary, or at least Bill.

It's Mr. Anthony Caruso.

Anthony?

How are you?

How.

Are you?

Morning, Della.

Morning, Ken.

You never told me you had 20 admirers.

Oh, they're all from Anthony Caruso.

The Anthony Caruso?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, wonderful man.

What's he doing sending you flowers?

Well, he's going to be using the office while Perry's in Washington.

Well, I can't wait to meet him.

What's he like?

Like that.