The Best of Times

Man: These are not the best of times,

and nothing comes easy anymore.

In fact, ever since the fall of man,

things have been tough everywhere,

especially in the San Joaquin Valley.

But in 1910,

in the southwest corner of Kern County,

God spoke in a gusher of black gold.

We had a chance for greatness,

and in 1911, we changed our name.

That was also the first year

Taft Midway Union High School played Bakersfield High

in football.

We lost 56 t0 0.

We also lost 25,000 barrels of oil a day

because nobody could figure out how to cap the well.

But we got on the map.

You got to make trade-offs.

For instance, we've got the worst goddamn weather

in the world, but it builds character.

That's a trade-off.

And in 1913, we had a chance to test that character.

Taft's own Kid Lester, the toughest bastard

to ever come out of the oil fields,

got to fight the great Sam Langford,

the number one heavyweight contender in the world.

Rumor had it that Langford was out of shape

and didn't take the fight seriously.

They said he didn't have a right hand anymore.

Kid Lester predicted a knockout in the fifth round,

and, unfortunately, he got it.

The kid slipped quietly out of town,

and was never seen again,

though he vowed he would someday return

to redeem himself.

Bakersfield beat us by four touchdowns that year.

And then, a plague was thrown upon the people of Taft

that even Job didn't have to deal with.

Mice.

100 million mice came up out of a dry lake,

and marched on Taft

Only when thousands of seagulls flew over from Ventura County

were they beaten back.

Well, eaten back, actually.

It rained all the next winter.

Bakersfield 82, Taft 6.

It seems like every year, they beat us 82 to 6,

but in 1972, something happened.

A great athlete rose up out of the Taft desert

to cast a shadow beyond the boundaries of Kern County.

A Greek god, a leader of men,

a quarterback.

A great quarterback.

We had Reno Hightower.

At last, a chance to beat Bakersfield.

November 15, 1972, our moment in history.

Only seconds left in a scoreless game.

Reno goes back to pass; a golden arm.

He lets fly, and as he does,

he's hit by half the Bakersfield team.

His knee is smashed, his career is over.

Ah, but what a pass-- 65 yards in the air, at least.

We still had a chance to beat Bakersfield.

And somebody's open,

some third-string wide receiver.

The ball's laid right in his hands,

but that son of a bitch dropped it!

I was that son of a bitch.

And as you can plainly see,

my mistake was so horrible,

not only has it haunted me ever since,

it has forced the entire town

to slip quietly into oblivion forever.

Sort of like Kid Lester.

I'm sorry, sir, but your wife is here.

Thank you, Marcy. Go file something.

I should've caught the damn thing.

Darling, what can I do for you?

Honey, I'm sorry to disturb you at work.

I know you're a busy man.

Could the bank make a donation of $100

to the Women's Club production of

Fiddler On the Roof at the Petroleum Club?

We're doing a modern version.

"If I were that rich dude." How about $200?

Jack, you're a doll.

Also, Jaki's class is having a party at school.

She was supposed to bring the potato chips. Could you drop some off?

Honey, I am the vice-president of the bank.

I'm a very... Ruffles. That would be nice.

You have it.

Hon? Huh?

Are you happy? I'm happy.

You say "I'm happy" to make me feel happy,

but are you happy? I'm happy!

Me, too.

Bring it in boys. Oh, my God. Daddy's here.

Mayday! Got to look busy.

Does this look busy?

Looks busy to me.

Surprise!

Hello. Bring it in, boys.

Right there on the wall, behind the desk.

Elly: What's that?

Me. I had 10 of 'em painted up,

one for each of my banks.

All in the tradition of Velazquez.

What do you think?

I like Velazquez.

He's damn good for a Mexican, huh?

What are you doing, trying to look busy?

I look busy, sir, I am busy.

Don't get hurt.

Thank you very much for calling.

So, Jack... what do you think?

Think it's a bit too much?

Tell me the truth.

Well, it's slightly ostentatious.

Damn right!

Grand statement on a grand theme!

Can't see no brush strokes either.

Paid extra for that.

Well, now, butterfingers--

Daddy, I'm sorry you can't stay longer.

Sorry I can't stay longer, honey.

Got nine more of these to go. Is that all?

Come on, boys. Nice to see you.

I hope everything's okay in Bakersfield.

Okay? Bakersfield High's got one hell of a team this year!

Should beat Taft 84 t0 0 again!

Bye!

"Okay?

"Bakersfield High has a great football team this year!

Should beat Taft--"

Goddamn it!

Why did Reno Hightower throw that ball to me?

Oh, Jack, you've only seen him once a week

for the last 13 years; you've had 1,000 chances.

Why don't you ask him? What's the problem?

What's the problem?

Problem is, El, it's that time of year again.

When the first leaf-- "of autumn falls forlornly

on the barren ground below."

Right. El?

I'm happy, okay?

Okay.

Anyway, thanks for the donation.

Don't forget the chips. Bye-bye.

Aw, Carlos, more sharks.

My client wants lots of sharks.

Lady Di's got to be in deep shit.

It's more emotional.

Lady Di? I thought that was Pia Zadora.

Is this dry yet? Yeah, man. It's ready.

Okay, take it down.

Easy, now. Easy.

Careful.

Huh? What do you think?

It's your best work, Reno. Thanks, man.

A little more shading on top of the bicep.

I wanna give God a little more definition.

Hey, Jack. What's your problem?

It sounds like crap. That's what the problem is.

See, it's clicking.

No, it's pinging.

Pinging. That's a lot of technical talk.

Jack, you need a valve job.

Need more than a valve job. Reno, I gotta talk to you.

Not now, honey. I got a noisy Continental and a wet Lady Di.

You always got a noisy continental and a wet Lady Di.

Hi, Gigi. Hi, Jack.

I want to talk alone. Come on.

Honey, I don't like being embarrassed like that

in front of the guys. Sorry.

It's not good for business, okay?

What do you want, sweetheart? I want a divorce.

Okay, I know your VDub needs a new muffler--

and tire rod bushings and an exhaust manifold.

That's not why I'm here. I've been meaning to get to it,

so I'll get Eddie on it right now, okay? Eddie!

My life's out of tune, not my VDub.

This is sudden. No, it's not.

Reno, let's face it.

Things haven't been the way they were between us.

They haven't been that way for a long, long time.

I made some notes so I wouldn't mess up.

"I've got to get out of Taft."

this is no place for a singer to get launched.

"My mind's made up." It has been for a long time.

I was waiting for the right time, but there is no right time.

"I--" I was crying and the words smudged.

I can't read this. I can read your writing.

"As soon as I get up the courage, I'll talk to Teddy.

I'm sorry, I don't want to be married to you anymore."

Right? Right.

I...I got to go.

Oh, come on, honey.

I'm moving out.

Now, wait a minute, honey.

Bye. Aw, come on, Gigi. Aw, shoot.