Pheebs Will Rock You

Mom, guess what?

There is just the cutest new boy at school.

Ooh, yay, tell me everything.

He's a rocker. - Oooh.

He writes the most beautiful lyrics...

Oooh. - And his name is Oyster.

Okay, you lost me.

Here, listen to these lyrics he wrote for English class.

It's called "Goodbye Mikaila."

"I shed tears on your neck,

as we say goodbye.

Don't know how I'll go on without you,

but I'll try."

I'm sorry, his name is Oyster?

It's cute. Get over it.

Wish he'd write a song about me.

If only I knew someone who could introduce me to him.

Hey, guys, this is Oyster.

Whaddup?

Hi!

I mean, yo!

I mean, hey!

Here, Phoebe, have a brownie.

Uh, what she was trying to say

is welcome to our home, Oyster.

Thanks, and fair warning...

we're gonna rock it to its foundation.

Yeah, we started a band with a group of guys

a couple of days ago and our first gig's this weekend.

Yeah, that's right. I'm giggin'!

Yeah? Well, I gigged back in my day.

I had a band called Barb Jovial.

Show ya a little taste of my moves.

Dude, if we don't go and rehearse hard,

that's how embarrassing we'll look.

Nice, uh... Nice meeting you.

Oh.

Um, okay, bye! I mean, I'll see ya!

I mean, Aloha, which is hi and goodbye!

Mom!

Where were you with that brownie?

You let me get to Aloha.

Aw, this is totally unfair!

I can't have a singing rabbit in my lair.

It was hard enough explaining your wig.

Wig? Oh, how dare you.

This is my real hair.

Oh, ho, the band needs fuel.

I'll take those. - Oh!

No, I wanna bring 'em down.

I need an Oyster do-over.

No way.

I cannot have you interrupting the Max-Eyed Peas.

We're workin' on a band name, okay?

Look, not that you would even care,

but I think Oyster is cute,

and I kinda wanted to talk to him.

You and Oyster?

The Oyster that's downstairs?

Oyster in my band?

How many Oysters do you know?

Phoebe, Oyster is...is a bad boy.

He's a rocker.

He sweats poetry and shreds like a six-armed mutant.

So, I sweat. I shred.

Yo, Max, you got a bottle opener?

Actually, never mind.

See? Bad boy.

Trust me, Phoebe, you guys...

are not a good match.

Yeah, well, if that's true,

then how come I can do this?

Ah! Arg!

FYI. What you're doing isn't bad.

It's just embarrassing.

I can't believe we're gonna be the only kids

in school whose parents aren't coming to Career Day.

That's because, if they talk about being superheroes,

they might give away that they're superheroes!

Tonight will be way cool.

My dad's a firefighter

and Chase's mom's a doctor.

What do you parents do, Billy?

Um, they're retired.

It's a fancy word for "lazy."

So, they just sit around all day,

where our parents are out saving the world?

My dad saves things.

Like what?

A spot on the couch for your mom?

Cool parents swap.

My dad is way cooler than yours.

He's a superhero. - Billy!

Wait, are you serious?

Yeah, he can fly, and he's super strong,

and he has a really tight uniform

that he used to look great in.

Wow! Did you hear that, guys?

We're gonna meet a real superhero.

I just had the craziest dream

that I told everybody Dad was a superhero.

And I just had a crazy dream

where I dragged you out of here by the ear.

Wake up, Nora, wake up!

Dudes, we rocked so hard, an angel fell from the sky.

This is why I joined a band.

Phoebe, I told you yesterday

not to interrupt my band.

And why are you wearing that?

To prove you wrong.

Hey, guys, I didn't mean to crash the party.

Cool guitar. Whatever. I don't care.

Thanks. She's my heart and soul.

I found her at a yard sale

under a pair of granny panties.

Oh, I'm caught on your granny panty guitar.

I mean, whatever. I don't care.

-

Ow, my eyes! -

Whatever. Whatever.

-

Oh! Oh! - She's killin' the music.

Phoebe, get out!

I'll get out when I want to.

Point me towards the stairs.

Looks like someone's trying too hard.

Cut it, fur-face.

I just made a fool out of myself,

and now Oyster's never gonna write a song about me.

I'll write a song about you.

I was gonna say peaches.

Hey.

Just lookin' to score some paper towels.

I'm so sorry for ruining your band practice.

Are you kidding?

That was the most rock 'n roll thing I've ever seen.

Max never told me his sister was so sweeches.

Thanks.

I mean, whatever. I don't care.

You...you are some kind of thrash goddess.

Yeah, that's me.

I love gettin' my Thrash on.

You're blowing my mind!

Yeah, take that, knickknacks!

Sloppy Joes.

That's why we chose this school.

Guys, what's going on?

We've been waiting outside for half an hour.

Billy, do you wanna tell them

that you signed Dad up for Career Day as a superhero?

No, thank you.

So, who's up for Sloppy Joes?

This guy!

Hank, did you not hear what they just said?

Joes. Sloppy. Career Day.

You told everybody I'm a superhero?

Billy, you know your Dad can't show up here

as Thunderman.

I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen.

So, if you're not gonna spank him, I got this.

I know it was wrong.

But I just wanted to brag about how great you are.

Well, I am pretty great.

I'll tell you what-- what if I come to Career Day

and pretend to be someone even better than Thunderman?

A flame-juggling Doctor-Astronaut?

Pick a school based on Sloppy Joes,

that's what ya get.

I got this scar from stage-diving

off my Mom's mini-van.

That's nothin'.

I got this one from a motocross wipeout.

I just looks like a mosquito bite

that got infected after I scratched it too much.

Sweeches!

You know, I don't think it was an accident

you got tangled up with my guitar, Phoebe.

I think my guitar chose you.

No, Oyster, I chose you to be in our band--

Maxford and Sons.

Phoebe, stop distracting Oyster from his life-long passion--

the band we created yesterday in gym class.

Yeah, man, we made an oath and sealed it with sweat

while Gideon tried to do a pull-up.

Muscles are first sell-outs.