Crank

Are we spinning yet? All right, nice.

Chelios! How we doing, baby?

And you never call me no more?

Now, come on, what is that? Where's the love?

Now, how are you feeling?

Because I have to guess, maybe you're feeling like shit right about now?

Now you can't...

You can't move too good, huh?

You can't breathe too good. What the hell is the matter with you, dude?

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

What is this?

Oh, fuck.

Can you guess what this is? I bet you can, Chelios.

Hold on. Check this out.

This...

Oh, this is plain sick, man!

I must be the motherfucking genius of sick, you know?

Poison Chev Chelios in his sleep?

That's like some Shakespeare or some shit.

Damn, you knocked this dude out pretty good.

About to get you a spot on the Dodgers, son.

Yeah.

Maybe you don't understand what just happened.

I just fucking killed you.

You try not to embarrass yourself, because you're on Candid Camera.

What is this shit right here I gave you?

This is some high-tech, sci-fi,

Chinese synthetic bullshit!

I don't exactly know what the fuck is in this shit, dude.

All I know is that once this shit has binded with your blood cells, you're fucked.

And baby, believe me, it's done binded.

Yeah, you got yourself about an hour, max.

Tick-tock.

This shit has been real.

You probably should've thought twice before you whacked Don Kim.

You're experiencing a little 20/20 hindsight right about now, ain't you?

You know, I thought so.

Now, you have yourself a nice death.

Asshole.

You like that, huh? Home run.

Hey, this is Eve. I'm glad you called, but I'm not here.

Can you leave a message?

Unless you're trying to sell something, because I'm not interested.

But if you're not, then just... Oh, wait! Time's up.

Get a cell phone, honey. Please?

Come on, come on, come on.

- Dr. Miles' office. May I help you? - Yeah, let me speak to him.

I'm sorry, but the doctor isn't in right now.

May I take a message?

Well, where is he?

- I beg your pardon, sir? - Where the fuck is he?

No. Yeah.

Where you from?

I don't know, sir.

This is his answering service.

Jesus fucking Christ.

- Would you like for me to have him paged? - Yeah, fine.

Could you please let the doctor know that Chev Chelios is a dead man

if he can't call me back within the hour. You got that?

- Could you spell that for me? - Yeah, D-E-A-D. Chelios.

- Yes, sir. - Thank you.

- Hello. - Kaylo, my man. Where were you last night?

- Oh, what's up, Chev? - I said, where were you last night?

I...

Yeah, yeah, well, you want to know what I was doing?

- What? - Getting killed, you plum.

- What? - Yeah, you heard me.

- Ricky fucking Verona. - Ricky Verona?

I mean, who'd have thought

that little bitch would have the stones to come and whack me in my own crib?

I mean, it's inconceivable.

- And yet, here we are. - Where are we?

I'm dead, and you're simple.

Now, you listen to me.

You put the word out I'm looking for Ricky Verona.

Anyone sees him, you call me.

- You understand that? - I...

I'm going to get that little fucker if it's the last thing I do.

It may actually be the last thing I do.

- You understand that? - Ricky Verona.

- Copy me on that, Kaylo? - Yeah!

Find him!

- Hey, man! - Get up!

What the fuck you doing?

What the fuck you doing? Where am I going?

- Fuck you, man. - Chevy!

Man, the bathroom don't work, brother. What you doing?

- Yo, Chevy, what the... - Where's Verona?

Hey, turd, I'm talking. What are we talking about?

- Don't fuck with me! - Okay. Nobody's fucking with you, man.

- Just calm down. - Don't tell me to calm down, motherfucker!

- What the fuck, man? - Orlando, you all right?

Hey!

There's a white nigga with a gun up in here.

Just be still, motherfuckers!

Now, you see that? You see that?

I'm trying to help you here, man.

Look, I gotta find Ricky Verona.

Why the fuck would I know where Ricky Verona is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't know where he is, but you're going to tell me where he is.

Or I'm going to blow your brains through the fucking toilet!

Come on, man!

I'm going to fucking kill him!

Put your guns down.

The white man is cool.

Hey! The white man is cool!

Y'all like them Somalia niggas.

Now, look, Chevy came here because he has something he would like to discuss.

And we going to discuss this shit in a civilized manner.

Chevy?

I believe you had a question, or some point that you were trying to make.

- Where's Verona? - Okay.

I'm not affiliated with Ricky Verona.

You pulled the Anselmo job together.

Don't try to fucking bullshit me!

Easy! Easy! Easy!

All right?

Look, clearly you're operating under a false pretense, all right?

Because Ricky Verona and myself did not pull the Anselmo job together.

In fact, Ricky Verona fucked me on the Anselmo job.

In fact, Ricky Verona still owes me $7,500.

- Not how I heard it. - Yeah, but that's the way it is.

That's the way it is. So, you see,

I don't know where Ricky Verona is, because if I knew where Ricky Verona was

I'd probably be there right now, beating the Gucci off his ass.

All right.

All right.

That's what I'm talking about. That's almost civilized.

Shit, dude, what's the matter with you?

Look, just give me some coke, okay? You got any coke?

Okay, so now you're just going to just come up in here and insult me.

Come on, I don't have time!

Just give me something.

- I'm really dying here. - I can see that.

You don't understand. I'm really fucking dying!

You saying this is medicinal-use coke? Is that what you're saying?

That's right.

Well?

- What? - The shit ain't free, nigga.

That's enough.

Here.

What, you gonna do the shit right here? Chevy, come on, man!

Oh, god.

Chevy.

- Oh, what the... - Oh, that's good.

- Oh, that's good. - That's good, right?

Why you looking for Verona, anyway, man?

Seems like some Chinese assholes hired him to kill me.

So this is about the Don Kim situation.

- What do you know about it? - I know you pulled the trigger.

Of course I pulled the trigger.

Why wouldn't I pull the fucking trigger?

Well...

Yo, Chelios. You good?

- This shit ain't working. - I beg your pardon?

I think I know what I have to do.

Well, Chev.

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

- What is it you gotta do? - I'm gonna kick some black ass.

What?

Oh, shit!

There he goes again.

Who wants white meat?

- Doc? - What's up, Doc?

You fucking motherfucker!

Why ain't you dead yet, man? What the fuck you doing out there?

Coming for you, asshole, fucking believe me!

Yo, whatever, dude. I'll be waiting for you.

You ain't gonna make it, though, motherfucker.

Look, I just thought you should know that I'm all about hooking up

with that little mystery girl that you been banging.

Oh, yeah, I know about that shit.

Soon as your ass is underground.

I forgot to say so on that gay James Bond tape I left for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What, and then you're going to rape my grandmother?

Blah, blah, fucking blah.

Now listen to me, you little mug.

What do you think Carlito's going to do when he finds out what you did?

Your whole crew is history.

- Driver, pull over. - Fuck!

Great.

You're talking about Carlito?

That's some fucking funny shit,

because me and Carlito, man, we're boys now.

That's right. We're tight.

You haven't been tight since your brother fucked you in third grade.

That's snappy.

But I did you pretty good, though, didn't I, Chelios?

- You can admit it. - Yeah, we'll see.

- Pull over! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what the best part about it is?

Sorry, must go. Bye-bye.

Dr. Miles.

Fuck you for that, Doc. What took you so long?

- Jesus Christ. - I'm sorry, Chevy. I just got the message.

Okay, okay, okay, forget it. Listen. I'm dying.

I've been poisoned with some kind of Chinese synthetic shit.

What?