Harley Quinn

Science is a fragment of.

There is no bottle.

We will never submit to the glass.

Sounds like the natives are getting restless.

Political incorrectness aside,

this bottle is ready to blow its load.

Sexual incorrectness aside, I beg to differ.

Protests are a sign of a healthy society,

democracy at work by shining the healing

light of musical theater on this brainiac problem.

I believe Metropolis now faces a very bright future.

Everyone relax.

No need for panic.

Okay, time for panic.

Thank God, y'all are safe.

I just saw the office manager eating one of the interns.

Was it Jake or Tom?

I don't know.

Faith was gone.

Damn it! The cannibals got no face.

Daddy, are we all gonna die?

- No. - Yes.

My God, have I misjudged?

Is it possible that the best way to combat galactic evil

is not through musical theater?

Lex, you like?

- I'm thinking of using it-- - To reupholster the throne.

Brilliant idea, Lena.

- Bold like you. - Oh, Lex.

Why didn't we have this kind of relationship sooner?

Because Lex is a dick.

Harl, what are you doing?

Pitting them against each other

so we're not stuck in this fucking bottle forever.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Horton Hears a Who

the fuck do you think you're talking about, Harley?

Lex is my brother.

Which is why he will love my big new idea.

Let's rename Metropolis after the person in charge,

Lena-opolis!

Oh, my God, I love that.

Well, what do you think, Lex?

Well, maybe something a little more punchy.

- Like? - Lex-opolis?

You narcissistic--

- You broke my train. - You never stopped--

Am I a genius or what?

I'm going to go with "what"?

Because they're gonna kill us once they stop arguing.

But until then, you can get us

out of this bottle with Frankette.

Did you just see that? She hates me.

Because she thinks you abandoned her

and gave her to Lena.

I didn't abandon her. Lena stole her from me.

She doesn't know that.

Just make up with her,

then get her to push the bottle off the table.

Okay, fine. I will try.

Hey, Frankette, honey, look.

It's Mommy. Hi.

Can you come over here for a second?

Fuck you!

Frankette, honey...

I believe Ivy is having trouble

with her plant baby

Yeah, because she's doing it all wrong.

Hey, Ivy, pretend you don't love her.

That'll get her attention.

Mom, you can't withhold love from a baby.

Worked with you.

Well, that explains a lot.

Hey, Frankette, you know what?

I don't love you anymore.

Fuck you.

That's it. Keep going, Ives.

Yeah, well, you're a bad baby.

All that banging has got my juices flowing,

if you know what I mean,

you lean green sex machine.

Mom, could you let Dad's body get cold

before you fuck the robot?

Daddy named the company LexCorp, not LenaCorp.

Because I'm eldest boy.

And Daddy's favorite.

And the only one who loves you is you.

Apologize for that, you bald piece of shit.

- Apologize right now or I'll-- - Do nothing?

Just like you've always done while I've done everything.

Everything.

Yeah? Well, I'll bet you everything

I can make you apologize.

I'll take that bet.

What are you doing?

So this is how it ends.

Stuck in a bottle, tiny, powerless.

And me, let's face it, insane.

Don't be so hard on yourself, Brainy.

You're just in a rut like Harley and Ivy were.

But now look at 'em.

Yeah. I'm never gonna love you.

Never!

Almost there, Ives, keep going.

We just need one more hit.

You know what, Harley? She's just, she hurt herself.

I know, and I hate that.

But we're all gonna be dead

if she doesn't break this bottle.

I can't do it, Harley.

It just isn't her problem to solve.

Frankette, honey. Look. Choo Choos.

Go play with those trains.

Yeah. Go play with the trains, baby girl.

There you go.

You're right. This isn't Frankette's problem to solve.

Tip the bottle.

Tip the bottle, right?

Yes. Tip the bottle.

Tip the bottle.

Tip the bottle.

Mom! Mom! Get over here.

We need your fast ass your added weight

That menopause is good for something.

Be right there. Come on, Brainy.

Let's break this glass like a Jewish groom.

But that will make such a mess.

I hope the hell it does.

Because the mess is the point.

The mess is the point?

Yes. What do you think life is?

We're born, we eat, we shit, and then we die.

It's a great big mess.

What a wonderful, great big mess.

The mess is the point?

- Ha, there. - There, what?

What did you just do?

Ship collision with Kalu.

Sixteen Earth minutes.

- Total destruction assured. - You set the ship

on a self-destruct course just to make me apologize?

And it sounds like you've got 16 minutes to do it.

You don't have the balls.

Ha! I've waited my entire life to get one up on you.

You think I give a shit about 16 more minutes?

Get over here, Brainy.

We need you.

The mess is the point.

- Hurry up! - Help us.

Just do it, Brainy. Come on. For Mama?

My God, have I been wrong this whole time?

I spent my life trying to perfect everything

when the mess was the point all along.

The mess is the point.

Mom, you broke Brainiac.

The mess is the point.

What is the point?

It's the mess!

The mess is the point, the mess is the point.

No!

Ship collision with Kalu in 15 Earth minutes.

Kill them.

I do not know if we will live or die,

and yet my mouth is trying to touch my ears.

It's called a smile, Brainy.

It's what happens when you're having fun.

Look out!

Can you get me up there?

I'd vine you but it's a little like, non-organic in here...

Except for...

Whee!

Ooh, those shoes look rich!

Hey, Lena. This is for killing Frank and stealing Frankette

and making her think I abandoned her.

And this is for being related to Lena.

Get ready to get bigger.

I feel like your boobs got bigger.

Huh. We gotta get one of those rays.

Damn, I was finally at my goal weight.

Ship collision with Kalu, 14 Earth minutes.

- What did that bitch just say? - Oh, dear.

Oh, dear, what? What are you oh-dearing about?

It appears that Lena must have set the ship

on a collision course with my home planet, Kalu.

Hey, wake up, Lena, and turn off the self-destruct thingy.

Gosh, you really knocked her the fuck out.

So did you. Wow.

Oh, fuck me.

Ship collision with Kalu in 13 Earth minutes.

Great. Now turn off that self-destruct.

So you and I can get turned on, if you know what I mean.

We know what you mean.

I can turn off the self-destruct, but I will not.

The old Brainiac would have tried to fix the mess.

But as Sharon pointed out, the mess is the point.

So I will not.

- Thank you, Sharon. - Thanks, Sharon.

Ship collision with Kalu, 12 Earth minutes.

Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh, God.

Okay. Hey, Brainiac.