Borderline

- Dearly beloved... - Okay.

we are gathered here today to join Paul Duerson

and Sofia Minor in holy matrimony.

Do you take Paul to be your lawfully-wedded husband?

I do.

I hate it when they show the ending first.

But I just couldn't help myself.

You may kiss the bride.

Okay guys, that's enough.

Back to the beginning.

So, what do you think?

It was my dad's.

Fits perfect, huh?

How was the tour?

Saw you guys in San Francisco.

Whoa-ho! Nice.

Don't do this. Just go.

William... Tonight is the night.

I'm proposing.

I told you...

the next time you came around, I was calling the police.

You're killing me.

We have to talk with you about something.

I didn't want to do this.

I didn't want to do this.

Who?

Me and Sofia. You know, my girlfriend?

She's not your girlfriend.

Okay, listen.

I know you're a lonely guy.

Because your wife died.

And that's why Sofia does those puzzles with you.

She does them with you because she feels bad

that your wife died of stomach cancer,

and you have no one to do puzzles with anymore.

How do you know about the puzzles?

- Is she here? - No.

Oh... oh, I can wait. It's not a problem.

- No, no, no. - No, it's really not...

Listen, I really don't want to have to call the cops, man, okay?

Just leave. Now.

You don't have to call them.

You don't have to.

You know, I could just sit right... right in there.

Yeah.

- Okay. - Okay.

High five.

Give it to me. I need it.

I need it.

Okay, Paul.

You got big hands.

Bye.

Oh, fuck. Go!

Goddammit.

Hey. Hey.

Why are you acting this way?

Take it easy.

Don't be mad at me, Ladybug.

I'm not mad at you.

You're confused.

We've been through this before. You don't know Sofia.

You're wrong.

You are wrong.

Okay, you know her.

- Give me the knife. - You.

What?

You're Sofia.

Don't you... Don't!

Look, I'm unarmed.

Let me help.

Say you're Sofia.

- Okay, I'm Sofia. - And you love me.

I'm Sofia, and I love you. Now, give me the knife, Paul.

Stay there.

Yeah. Oh, my god. Here it is.

I have a ring.

It's really nice of you.

Will you marry me?

I don't know what to...

to say.

Put it on.

It's perfect.

Give me the knife, Paul.

I freaking love that song.

I love it.

The wedding is going to be at the Cassowary Tabernacle.

JH is my best man.

Pastor Tim Lutzner is gonna perform the ceremony.

And... and, and... I got this dagger.

Not this one.

It's a Rajput ceremonial wedding dagger.

It's in Customs now,

but wait until you see this thing.

I mean... we're gonna look amazing up there.

I mean, for that alone. What do you think?

You're pretty stone- faced right now.

Okay, let's do it.

Really?

- You love me? - Yes. I love you. Now...

now, please just give me the knife.

Hmm.

Who should we tell first? My family or yours?

Okay, um... I'm ready. Ready for my interview.

Who is DeVante Rhodes?

Ah. Well...

he's the best point guard in the game of basketball.

So he's hot.

Is that why you had your people call me yesterday?

No. I don't even know what a point guard does.

What else he say? He said you were a trailblazer.

And I was like, "In what?"

I- I was traded to the Nuggets.

That's a really silly name for a basketball team.

Okay, so you called me up to make fun of me?

Well, you seemed... like fun.

And I like to have fun.

Is that why you wrote that song?

What song?

I kind of like that one.

It's your turn. You're up.

- All right. - Move it.

What's your favorite song of mine?

I told you. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

That's Cyndi Lauper.

You're confusing your white singers.

It's embarrassing.

Oh, uh... "Like a Prayer."

Do I look like Madonna?

A little. Actually.

Sofia?

It's Kaylor.

Your assistant?

I know who you are, Kaylor. What's up?

William's here.

Who's, uh... who's William?

He goes by Bell.

That doesn't answer my question.

I'll be down in a sec. Does he seem okay to you?

What do you mean?

You know, is he healthy, mentally?

Do you mean, like, twitchy?

He seems fine.

Are you twitchy?

Hey, Sof.

Hey!

Hmm.

- How's Abby? - Oh, she's good. Thank you.

That's Rhodes.

- The Blazer? - He's a Nugget now.

Come on, I wanna show you something.

Have you met Waylon up at the front booth?

His wife makes the best chili.

What the fuck?

Love it.

Ta- da!

Would you look at that.

Took me every bit of the six months

- you were gone, too. - Mm

Wow. Six months... for this puzzle.

Shut up.

And here is our next challen...

You said I could choose.

There's a piece missing.

Yeah, I know. It's driving me nuts.

I looked everywhere for it.

Sorry I'm late.

I figured I'd get the silent treatment.

Came with reinforcements.

Here. You left it up here.

Not supposed to have Coke this late.

Says who?

You.

Well... I won't tell if you don't.

You ready?

Let's see.

You're upset because the Pirates lost their third straight today.

That was a terrible game, but that's not why I'm mad.

Drink.

Hmm. Okay.

Is it because I'm going back to work?

And you were really looking forward

to spending more time with me this summer?

You're not that cool.

You're afraid I could get hurt again.

I just hate the whole idea of a bodyguard.

It's like saying your life is less important than hers.

He called again today.

- Who? - You know who.

Next time he does, hang up and call me.

He just seemed confused.

My dearest JH,

by the time you're reading this,

the best day of my life,

and therefore yours, will be fast approaching.

So, by now, you should have already picked up

my parcel from the post office.