The Idiots (Idioterne)

The tension mounts, hits the roof and falls to earth with a bang...

I'd like some prawns.

Prawns, I'm afraid...

- Are you alone? - Yes.

- I'd like a salad, then. - With Parma ham? Parmesan cheese?

And then? We have salmon... cheese.

It sounds lovely, but I'm afraid I can't afford it.

Can we afford a mineral water? Or shall we use the tap?

- A mineral water. - A mineral water. Certainly.

Your salad... bon appetit.

Come along.

- No. - Yes, come along.

No, no.

- Stoffer, pick that up! - Klaus is coming.

Hi!

Hi, hi!

Stoffer, I don't think they think it's funny.

There's nothing to be afraid of, nothing is happening.

Nothing is happening.

- Hi, hi. - Hi, hi.

Hi.

- Excuse me... - Henrik, easy does it.

You must keep him under control.

- He won't do anything. - I must consider the other diners.

Henrik, Henrik, where are you going?

- Where are you going? - Klaus is coming.

Let's sit down again like the waiter wants.

Shut up!

- It's... it's his birthday. - Happy Birthday, but it won't do.

Stoffer, come on, we're going home.

- No! - Easy, now.

Stoffer, Stoffer, easy now. Nothing's going to happen.

- Shut up. - It's no good us being here, right?

Come on, Christoffer, we're going.

You and me? Shall we go outside together?

- Would you? - If he'd like to.

You'd be most welcome.

- Klaus is coming. - Yes, he may be outside already.

- Good-bye. - Good-bye and thank you.

OK, Stoffer, let go now.

She's not coming any further. Let go now.

Stoffer, let go.

- It doesn't matter. - Let go! The lady's not coming.

Stoffer, let go. I've had enough.

I've had enough. If you're going to be like this.

I don't think it's funny.

- Sorry, Susanne. - Yes, sorry.

What the hell could we do? That lunch would have cost a fortune.

- You do have the fare, don't you? - Of course.

They're just... Don't mind them.

Don't worry.

Karen was the last to join the group.

She was really nice. It wasn't that.

Karen was really nice, but she was also...

I think she'd have joined anything.

I don't know how she came to the factory, but she did.

I don't know... I don't know what she thought.

She was right when she said "You're poking fun".

Yes, we were poking fun.

Hi, Stoffer.

Hi.

Now we get out of the car again, right?

Are you the person I talked to? Welcome to the factory.

Oh, you've brought a wheelchair?

Don't leave her behind.

It may sound a bit... a bit dull.

But when you get to know it, it's actually a fascinating product.

Hey, no, no! You mustn't do that.

Watch this!

I'm going to stop the entire production of Rockwool in Denmark.

- And it stops. - No!

- No! - Don't worry.

Hey, you! Come over here! Don't be frightened.

Press the green button. Do you see it? Come on!

It's fireproof, as you see. Nothing's on fire.

Don't be frightened, nothing will happen, wait for the bang.

Shall we have a soda? Yeah...

Don't press that. Just let it hang there.

Now you've heard about Rockwool and how it works.

Now I'll ask you...

which of these houses is insulated with Rockwool?

Yes?

Come on up...

That was almost right.

Those who think this one is insulated with Rockwool, put your hands up.

Rather a lot...

I think I can hear your minibus.

I think they're leaving. Don't get left behind.

There. That's the best place, almost.

- 'Bye-bye. - 'Bye.

That's the lot. Give us a hand, Karen.

Who... is he driving?

Responsibility does them good. No, not...

- Is that really a good idea? - No harm done, he's doing fine.

Reverse, reverse!

Thanks for coming.

We have a driver Who is a nutter

At our camp At our camp

We have a driver Who is a nutter

At our camp Where we are...

What do you think?

I don't think it was very funny.

Why not?

You poke fun.

- They're the ones who poke fun. - Stoffer, cool it.

Is that you, Karen?

Jeppe copped out right in the middle, and it pisses me off.

He didn't cop out.

- But you think so? - He wasn't there.

It was written all over his face.

You should fucking well play along.

Leave him alone.

Did you think I was bad, too?

I wasn't watching anybody.

I was trying to feel it for myself.

Surely that's allowed?

I can't say whether you were good or bad.

What are you writing? That I was good or bad or...?

I write that you were...

Bad.

You can sleep here if you want. There's enough room.

I'm not going to sleep here.

I'd just like to sit a while.

I thought Jeppe was good.

- Where the hell was Jeppe good? - He was good by the machine.

He did fuck all by the machine. Fuck all.

I know. That was what was so cool.

A quick summary of what we were at?

No, an understandable summary. I've heard 17 different versions.

A quick summary? They wanted to fuck as many as possible -

- as quickly as possible. Isn't that so, Axel?

Axel says it was his idea. I think it was Stoffer's.

It was my idea, but it was Stoffer...

who wanted to do something about it.

That's funny; None of the others say it was your idea.

How come? None of them!

Would Stoffer also say it was a game?

No, I don't think so.

- But it was? - Yes, it was, really.

- Good morning. - Good morning, Honey.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Axel, you have a visitor.

- Actually, it's Katrine. - Oh, shit.

- Hi. - Hi, Katrine.

Is there something I've got wrong? You didn't go to Jutland?

Sure. I've been to Jutland.

Because I thought this spazzing about was pathetic.

- So what the hell are you back for? - I've changed my mind.

- "Changed your mind?" - Yes. Is that wrong?

You might have come to get me back again, right?

What the hell would I see in you, man?

- Oh, Katrine... - You think very highly of yourself.

Quit touching me.

Your lies are pouring out of every hole in your body.

- What's your problem? - No problem.

If that's the way you feel, come on.

You want to go outside? Fine.

Stoffer?

Axel is telling me to beat it.

Pretty weird when I've come to spaz.

- She's come back to get at me. - Who has?

Three guesses. Say something to her.

Katrine, have you come to spaz or have you come to get Axel back?

I've come to spaz.

What are you doing, Jeppe?

I'm tying this up. First round the lake.

No, out of the lake, round the palm tree, into the lake.

I'm not coming if anyone's going to be rough or silly.

It's slippery and dangerous and you can fall and get hurt.

You mean it's slippery at the swimming baths?

Axel, are you going to be rough?

- Round the lake... - Don't look at me.

I know sod all about knots.

- Heck! - There's a knot in it.

Why all this scout shit?

Who is minder today? You were minder yesterday.

- Round the palm, into the lake. - The palm? What's that?

- What do you think? - Listen up!

It's crazy if I'm the only one who ever minds.

It's unrealistic.

- Josephine can't even mind herself. - Thanks a bunch!

Karen? How about you?

- Would you? - Yeah, Karen!

Why are you undoing it again? Stop... stop it!

I'll tie it up. Get into the car.

Round the damned palm and out of the bloody lake.

No, into the lake.

- Right then. - It's not very tight.

You're driving me fucking bonkers.

- They're going. - Round the lake...

Out of the lake, round the palm tree, into the lake again.

Right then.

I'd rather not help poke fun.

Where do you get this poking fun thing from?

Hey, lads, will you lend a hand?

- Has it broken? - I can't figure it out.

Katrine, we've got to talk. I've a wife and kid.

It won't do.

What do you want?

Maybe I bought it a size too small.