The Ugly Stepsister (Den stygge stesøsteren)

Twice or thrice

I loved thee

before I knew thy face or name,

but a voice and a shapeless flame.

Elvira!

Thine angelic song must worshiped be.

"And all that issues from thee."

So for God's sake hold your tongue

and let me

love thy sacred body

without sin.

Elvira!

PRINCE JULIAN'S MOST BEAUTIFUL POEMS

Elvira, braces!

Rebekka.

Otto.

Welcome to the kingdom of Swedlandia, my beautiful.

...love you

in sickness and in health, to honor and cherish you

till death do us part.

- Agnes, this is wonderful! - Come, sister.

Isak!

This is Elvira. Isak takes care of my horses.

Come.

Is it the Prince's poetry you are reading?

I want to marry him.

I really do!

And now...

No, please...

- Stop it! - Don't be such a spoil sport!

Papa...

Papa?

Papa?

Papa?

Papa...

Papa!

THE UGLY STEPSISTER

It's just me - Elvira.

You must be starving!

I brought some chocolate. There's no better consolation.

Can you please go?

I thought you were asleep.

When my father died, Mama slept all the time.

But it passed.

Everything passes eventually.

How dare you compare your grief to mine?!

That's my brush!

He isn't even in the ground, and you just settle in.

Do you have no decency?

If it wasn't for the money, father would never

have let people like you into his life!

What money?

Your mother's money.

Mama!

They have no money!

They have no money.

We will confiscate

all cattle and arable land with immediate effect.

Keep the coins.

Mama?

Mama!

We'll find a solution.

Do you think it's easy?

Do you think it's easy...

to find a rich man who would want me?

A widow with saggy tits and two hopeless daughters!

I can get married.

To whom? The Prince?

Look in the mirror, sweetheart.

And Alma, she hasn't even started bleeding.

Dearest Mama...

I beg you...

Don't let this be my fate.

Message from the castle!

The King and his son, His Royal Highness Prince Julian,

hereby invite all noble virgins to a ball at the castle

four full moons from the next.

A ball?!

Yes.

- Name? - Agnes Angelica Alicia

Victoria von Morgenstierne Munthe of Rosenhoff.

Thank you.

Name?

Elvira.

Von?

Von?!

Von?

She's my stepsister.

ELVIRA VON STEPSISTER

The Prince will choose his bride at the ball!

Mama, I'm going to a ball!

Right.

Removing braces is simple.

The nose, on the other hand...

What will you do with it?

Tame it.

I also recommend our exclusive

hand-made eyelash extensions.

After a lifetime in the shade

of that hump,

your beautiful eyes deserve some extra attention.

Yes.

The braces and the nose will suffice for now.

How fast can we get it done?

- When can you pay me? - I'll pay you double after the ball.

Nurse!

YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FACE, BUT YOUR NOSE?

Pliers!

Voilà!

Now to the pièce de résistance!

The great transformation. Which will it be?

Number seven.

Excellent choice.

Un, deux, trois!

Un, deux, trois!

Good morning, girls.

Good morning, Miss Sophie!

Welcome to a new school year.

Being the Kingdom's leading finishing school,

we are honored to open Prince Julian's ball

with a dance performance.

There will be a selection

made by me and Madame Vanja.

There will be...

There will be a lead and two supporting roles.

The chosen ones get a unique opportunity

to show off to the Prince.

This, my girls, will be the most important night of your lives.

It will be filled

with counts, barons

and rich merchants.

You. Step back.

Agnes, forward.

Step back!

Don't you understand?

Thank you.

Rebekka.

I have decided on a date for my father's funeral.

When we can afford it.

When will that be?

After the ball, when Elvira has married.

Dr. Esthétique isn't cheap.

I didn't know you had in-depth knowledge of the doctor.

My dad is rotting. You spend money on everything but his funeral.

Things don't necessarily have to cost money, Agnes.

I thought Elvira and Alma

might have some of your dresses that you're not wearing anyway.

The list is here!

Voilà!

Who can do this?

Everybody will look at you!

You?

Let's see.

Begin.

Stop.

You have talent.

Wasted talent.

I didn't want you.

Your mother paid me. Understand?

Work harder.

Much harder!

Agnes.

You and you.

Begin.

This is easier said than done.

I will need ribbons or bows to make this work.

I don't care how, just get her into it!

Move over!

Good night, Miss.

- The Prince will love you. - Thank you.

Elvira.

I'm hopeless.

No one will ever choose me.

I don't think that's true.

I see a lot of myself in you.

But you are gorgeous!

And I...

I'm ugly and fat.

May I see?

It's beautiful.

You're changing your outside to fit

what you know is on the inside.

You are a brave one.

I have something for you.

It's what's inside that counts.

My head is pounding.

Find me, virgin, find me fast...

My heart breaks.

I'd rather die

than to my heart lie

and be with one I do not love.

Isn't it beautiful?

Can I show you something?

Promise you won't tell anyone.

- Cross my heart. - You must mean it!

I mean it!

You're so annoying.

It's a tapeworm egg.

I'll swallow it,

then I can eat as much as I want, and still lose weight.