Telling Lies In America (Telling Lies in America)

Mistake on the lake.

You say somethin'?

- That's what they call this place, isn't it?

Mistake on the lake?

Hell no, they called it

the best location in the nation.

They're lyin'.

Hey hey, what do you say.

Watch your ass, I'm coming your way.

Screw it.

Good mornin', darlin'.

Ain't you just as sweet as a Georgia peach.

I'm here to see Cecil Simms.

- Do you have an appointment with Mr. Simms?

- You got a pair of titties in there

or are you just playin' dress up?

Mr. Simms?

Hey there, Cecil.

You look good.

You look like shit, Dwayne.

What happened to Baltimore?

My ratings were good.

Your ratings were always good.

- Well, you know I did a record hop with Little Richard.

Little Richard got you canned?

- Well, it's a real white town, it was a real black show.

You know I like that sweaty collar

and dirty fingernail music, Cecil.

- Are you telling me you got fired

just because you like race music?

- You gonna make me ask you, man?

Jesus Christ, Cecil, I mean I tried everywhere else.

Des Moines, I even tried goddamn Des Moines.

I even tried Kalamazoo.

Don't make me go through this, man.

Seven to 12, two to five.

I'll pay you what you got in Baltimore.

Weekends.

Thank you, Cecil.

Don't thank me.

Just don't try to cheat me.

I ain't gonna cheat you, man.

I know the rules.

Good.

What's your hep cat name gonna be?

Billy Starlight?

Billy Thunder?

Billy Magic.

Billy Magic.

- I ain't been Billy Magic since Fort Worth.

Clean yourself up.

Get yourself a decent haircut, will ya?

Buy a new suit for Christ sake.

Get a tan, you gotta have a tan.

It's winter, Cecil.

Buy a lamp.

Hey, what about a kid?

- Hire one, just make sure he's the right kid.

- The Billy Magic WHK High School

Hall of Fame presents, ta-da.

Duh.

Duh, duh!

Why can't I say it?

Rock and roll is the goal designed to give you soul.

This is WHK Cleveland.

Are you ready for your Billy Magic WHK

High School Hall of Fame winner for the day?

To elect someone to the Billy Magic WHK

High School Hall of Fame send us a postcard

with the name of your favorite high school student.

You cannot vote for yourself.

All entries must be signed.

All signatures will be authenticated by--

In the Billy Magic WHK

High School Hall of Fame today

from Cleveland Latin High School, Kevin Boyle.

(Karchy speaking in foreign language)

English.

Please, teach the English.

What are you doin', Pop?

I study test.

You should be asleep.

I know.

I got to be American citizen.

We together.

You study for test.

You gonna be American citizen, too.

Don't worry about it, Pop.

Don't worry, worry.

I worry!

Want a pork chop, Karchy?

For breakfast?

I already got an RC Cola.

RC Cola, for breakfast?

We have been in this country seven years.

I no understand that thing.

Your tie, let me fix it.

- That takes care of everybody.

Everybody walking, riding, sitting down, talking--

See ya, Pop.

See ya, see ya.

Take a easy.

Take it easy, Pop.

Take a easy, see ya.

Bye, Papa.

Hey.

Hang loose, mother goose, your ride's drippin' tomato juice.

What, it's funny.

You're a dipshit, Croak.

It's funny.

He got into the hall of fame.

I heard.

See ya.

Hey, Karch Ass. (laughs)

- Will you turn that thing off?

I want to speak with you, Mr. Jonas.

You got a C in history.

A D in sociology.

A D in physics.

I got a B in English.

- What will you do

when you graduate, Mr. Jonas?

I don't know.

- Your father has sacrificed

so much to send you here, and all for what?

You think you'll be able to get

a scholarship to go to college?

I don't know.

Well, I do.

The answer is no.

Do you think you can even get into college

with your grades, Mr. Jonas?

- I can get into Cleveland State.

Anybody can get into Cleveland State.

- You know your father doesn't have

the money to send you to Cleveland State.

So if you can't get into college on your own

and you can't get a scholarship,

what will you do with yourself, Mr. Jonas?

- Maybe I'll join the priesthood, Father.

- Congratulations. - Just get her number.

- Nice job, Kevin. - Hey, Kevin.

- It's not a big deal. - Kev, good job.

- Hey guys, how's it going?

He's got this band gig.

Blood Smith and the Tenderloins.

- Man. - Working up his tunes.

- Blood Smith and the Tenderloins?

What's wrong with that?

Sounds good to me, Amos.

Well, who's Blood Smith?

Well, that's me.

- You heard that new Pat Boone song, it's neat.

Pat Boone, neat?

Oh Jesus, Stephen.

- At least it ain't no shine music.

- Look man, I love you from the heart of my bottom.

- So, what's the matter with you?

- Father Norton wants me to join the priesthood.

Huh?

He thinks I can be Bishop.

A bishop?

What about Pope?

Don't you want to be Pope, too?

I don't think so.

- Hey, please be careful with the eggs.

For Christ's sakes we got a lot of broken eggs here.

- I'm not breakin' the eggs, Henry.

Alls I'm sayin' is be careful

while you're bringing 'em in.

- Oh, please take it easy, Henry.

- Henry, why don't you give the kid a break?

- Yeah, I'm just kinda trying to run a business here, so.

We need a hand.

- Hey, Diney. - Mm-hmm.

- You ever read Huckleberry Finn?

It's great, I read it about six times.

Everything's in there.

Life and stuff. - Mm.

You didn't read it?

It's for little kids.

No, it isn't.

I'll bring it for you.

It's a fun book.

What is this, a social hour?

Jonas, you're taking all night.

Come on, unload the truck, it's out there.

Hey Karchy, I'll help ya.

- I got this scholarship, didn't I tell ya?

Princeton, you've heard of it, right?