The Ren & Stimpy Show

This is a special report.

Well, the Queen was at the gala opening of Tulip Pines

State Penitentiary.

This lavish playpen for the legally challenged

features the latest in criminal reform.

Like five-star dining.

Beauty salon.

And for those of you who prefer privacy,

our solitary confinement units,

overlooking the gorgeous hills of tulip pines.

So remember, at tulip pines penitentiary,

the grass is always greener on the other side of the law.

This has been a special report.

Wait a minute.

I'm a taxpayer, too, and look at this dump.

But Ren, you've been living off your mother

for the past eight years.

Forget about that !

Como Esta, señor federale.

Yo hablo ingles.

You Ren Hoek ?

We've been watching you.

Now look, you are in violation

of city penal code I-E-g-x-r-b-s-b,

infraction of a state law,

aiding and abetting,

littering, sauntering.

Step away from the house.

All right, Franco, take her away.

Uh... well, boys, have a nice day.

Great, now where're we going to live ?

I don't know, Ren.

But your mom's gonna be really mad.

Come on, Stimpy.

Duh, where are we going, Ren ?

To commit some crimes.

Ah, yes.

With this baby,

we'll be on the next bus to prison.

And this bank is our ticket !

Now, remember your lines.

Stick 'em up, this is a heist !

Psst, Stimpy.

Duh, oh, yeah.

Give us a full tank of gas, we're taking this bird to Cuba.

Step back, he's got a spud !

That's right, and I'm a good shot, too.

I can take your eye out from here.

Now who's first ?

You !

Empty your pockets !

Yes, sir, yes, sir.

Now get a good look at my face.

Uh, Ren.

Not now, Stimpy, I'm enjoying this.

Oh, the power of it all.

You !

Behind the counter !

I want you to call the cops !

Yes, police.

There's a asthma hound chihuahua

and a big, fat, stupid cat,

and they're gonna rob the bank.

Get down here, please, please !

Armed robbery.

We'll easily get 20 years for this.

You sick and twisted vermin.

Come out with your hands in the air.

We're going to jail !

Well, see you around, folks.

No hard feelings.

First thing I'm gonna do when we get to jail

is get a nice bikini wax.

The only place you're going is kingdom come.