The Ren & Stimpy Show

Why don't you look where you're going, you fool ?

Hey, lady, get that dog off my lawn !

ohh...

Ren, you're home.

Did you have a nice day at work ?

Your dinner's in the oven.

I'll get it myself.

Aah !

Hurry it up, man.

Uh, I'm coming, Ren.

Hmm ?

Waah !

You stay away from me.

I just want to be alone !

That's what I need.

Is a good shave.

Where's my razor ?

Here, Ren.

Aah !

Why, you--

Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah !

Daa...

no !

I can't take anymore.

I've had it with you.

You and the whole world.

I'm going where I can be alone

once and for all !

And I'm never coming back !

( footsteps and accordion sounds )

Now, to be a professional hermit, Mr. Hoek,

you'll need your very own private cave.

Wow.

Now, remember the hermit union rules:

no sunlight,

no bathing,

and absolutely no friends !

Hey, absolutely no problem with that, chief.

Now if you don't mind, I'll be checking in.

See ya never again.

Ha ha, enjoy.

Loser.

Ah, alone at last.

No more annoyances.

Just peace and solitude.

But best of all,

no Stimpy !

Stimpy !

Yep, doesn't get any better than this.

Just a little rearrangement of the furniture,

and huh ?

A mummified bug man.

Wow, someone to talk to

who can't talk back.

Whoops.

Heh heh.

Well, buddy, now that I'm finally alone,

I'm gonna do all the things

I've always wanted to do,

like writing that novel.

Clip my toenails.

Build a gelding gym

and then I'm gonna scrape my uvula,

listen to my urethra franklin records,

fix the Buick...

daaa.

I wonder when ren's coming home.

He's gonna miss his dinner.

Daaa...

ahh...

I shall go find some food.

Hold the fort while I'm gone.

Man, that coffee works.

Ahh !

What do you think you're doing ?

I'm a man, not a cow !

Old man farmer Hoek.

Oh, father, I'm starving. What should I do ?

Don't be a darn weakling, boy.

We hoeks are made of sterner stuff.

Why, the chihuahua is a natural born scavenger.

He is ?

Look around you, man.

There's a wealth of sustenance before you.

Spore, lichen, and fungi to eat.

Entire herds of fleas, ticks, and chiggers

to raise and ranch.

Why, you could live like a king !

Well, son, gotta go.

Kid never had any sense.

Oof !

Man, gotta lay off the Chile con carne.

Need... some... real... company !

Huh ?

Oh, at last.

A real friend.

What a bunch of mush.

That's right. You heard me.

What are you playing with dirt for ?

I just wanted some company.

But you're your own best company.

Me ?

That's right, you.

And your feelings.

Behold !

Anger,

fear,

and ignorance.

Daah.

Wow !

Company !

Let's have a party.

Hey, how about a game of blackjack ?

I hate games.

Call 911.