Spud 3: Learning to Fly

Subtitles by flitze

1992 threatened to begin with a bang.

Finally, I was gonna get a piece of that infamous New Year's Eve party action.

I'm a Christian, Johnny.

Me too.

I'm saving myself for marriage.

So when do you want to get married?

When I'm 29.

Oh.

We shouldn't be doing this, Johnny.

God could send a plague or something.

A plague?

Yes, a plague.

I better go.

The Milton New Year's party had gone from pretty bad to much worse.

Sorry, my boy.

They shouldn't allow children at these parties.

I'm nearly 16, actually.

Dad is insane and embarrassing.

A deadly combination.

Happy New Year.

You better come quickly.

Your father is having an affair.

What?

What's going on?

Your father's having a mid-life crisis.

Cavorting with the new neighbour.

She looks Portuguese.

You know all about the Portuguese.

What's her name again?

Amber.

Amber means "warning," you know?

I'll give him a bloody warning, all right?

So, you've been chatting with your new floozy again, eh?

I...

I was collecting the mail.

Three letters.

All look important.

Banks.

You know, there's only one good place to keep the bank overdraft warnings, my boy.

Here's something from your school, Johnny.

What is it?

They're going to take away your scholarship.

"Our school regrets to inform you of our possible intention...

to remove your son's scholarship at the end of the year...

due to underperformance

and poor general behaviour."

"Unless Milton can prove his worth to the school over the course of the year...

his scholarship will be awarded to a more deserving applicant."

You see...

this is what comes from drinking and smoking

and behaving like a yahoo.

But they can't just take the boy's scholarship away because he's going through a rough patch.

I mean, he's gonna be the first Springbok to win an Oscar.

What are you?

Fire!

You're going to die!

You know, with you as a role model it's no wonder the boy's life is falling apart.

How about we open the third letter?

It's bound to be good news.

It's my army call-up papers.

What?

No, no, you're... but you're only 15.

If I drop out of school...

I'm gonna have to join the army and serve in the townships.

This is serious.

I know.

I think you'd better open a bottle of wine.

Johnny, I don't want you to worry about your scholarship.

I've got a business opportunity bubbling.

It's gonna make us so much money, we'll be using it for toilet paper.

Good luck, sweetheart. I'm holding thumbs for you, my boy.

Thanks, Mom.

Hey, guys.

Yeah!

How ya doing?

Hey, man, how are you?

Hi.

How are you, man?

Boggo, how are you?

Hey, Vern, how are you?

Nice to see you, man.

Hey, you must be Spud Milton.

I'm Garth Garlic from Malawi.

You've obviously been to Malawi.

- No? - What?

Malawi is, like, the best place on earth.

You would love it. Oh, my God, it's amazing.

My dad owns a sweet factory.

Here, have one.

Thank you very much.

Gee... I've always wanted to be part of a gang,

and now I feel like a full member of The Secret Seven.

Oh, I'm sorry. What did you say?

I feel like a full member of The Secret Seven.

Secret, ha ha... Secret Seven.

That's cute.

You see, we're not just some childish gang that does lame shit for kicks.

We...

are friends.

And we have the battle scars to prove it.

So next time you decide to open up that trap of yours,

you may want to have the correct information.

It's the Crazy Eight.

Okay, enjoy that.

And trust me...

you don't want to make that mistake again.

I won't.

"Secret Seven!?"

Never mind him, Garlic. These things happen.

So, tell me more about your little sweet factory.

The Crazy Eight were as offside as ever.

Rambo could well be on steroids.

Simon christened the acting headmaster New Glock.

And welcomed him to the school.

What the hell's going on here?

Hey, close the door! I'm warning you!

Vern is handing out yellow cards for bad form in the bogs and surrounds.

Boggo has elected himself the house hairdresser and is making a killing.

- How does it look? - Oh, it reflects your personality.

Who's next?

Fatty's been meddling with supernatural voodoo with the new boys.

The names you received tonight will be yours forever.

You!

Sidewinder.

Say it!

Sidewinder.

Plump Graham.

Plump Graham.

Stutterheim.

Stutterheim!

Stutterheim.

Rowdy.

- Rowdy. - Say it!

Rowdy.

And you.

Meg Ryan's son.

Meg Ryan's son.

Together...

you are The Fragile Five.

- Hall? - Sharks.

Landry Stewart?

Sharks.

- Milton? - Sharks.

Class of 92...

Not exactly top of the gene pool.

Is there something you'd like to share with the house, Milton?

Uh, no, Norman.

Yes. "No, Norman."

Not a tosser.

I bet you're surprised that I'm head of house.

To be honest, Whiteside, I'm surprised you passed Standard Nine.

Now listen here!

Especially you, Mr. Black.

Some of you may know me as Mr. Richardson.

Others may know me as the Viking.

But I'd rather you thought of me as your worst bloody nightmare.

Ugly boys. Viking's a maniac.

Fat boys. But at least he appreciates good theatre.

Long, droopy, skinny boys.

He's our new housemaster.

Pimpled boys.

Although one has to question if he's the right choice for such an intense job...

considering he's had six heart attacks since 1985.

House dismissed!

Whiteside...

I wonder if you are familiar with the term "divide and conquer".

Spud...

Viking wants to see you.

Like now.

I don't have much time, so I'll be frank.

You've read the letter?

Yes, sir.

I'm aware of the unsavory incidents at this house last year,

and I shall not be falling into the same traps.

A school scholarship is a gift, Milton,

not an entitlement.

Yes, sir.

Um...

I was the lead in the school play, sir.

That was nearly two years ago.

Since then,

your academic record has been uninspiring.

Your sporting prowess has been underwhelming,

and your general attitude and behaviour have been appalling.

Sir, look, um...

I just want you to understand that if I...

if I drop out of school, I might have to join the army.

I doubt that, Milton.

The military has certain physical requirements,

and being over a hundred pounds is surely one of them.

I do concede...

your future would be uncertain.

But, sir, how do I win back my scholarship?

Prove to me that you're someone worth investing in.

Achieve and bring glory to the school and to the house.

I'll try my best, sir.

You could, of course,

become a house prefect.

A leadership position next year would ensure your scholarship.