It's My Party

No crystal or china. I hate white-picket-fence stuff.

Great shirt. Where'd you get your sense of style?

When I met him, he was wearing polyester and dating women.

- I didn't know who Jackson Pollock was. - Thanks for helping, Monty.

So, guys, you've been together two years?

What's the appropriate gift for this anniversary?

Tupperware?

Hair weaves? Tummy tucks?

Come on, Brandon, get up and dance.

Are you crazy?

Oh, God.

- Who's hungry? We just made it. - Spanakopitas!

- No, thanks. - No?

Quit smoking. It'll kill you.

That's a nice haircut.

It's much, much better.

Go to the kitchen.

- What'd your aunt say? - You don't wanna know.

Why'd you pull away from me like that?

- I feel awkward around your mother. - She doesn't care, Brandon.

She's not like your mother.

He's Jewish?

Half-Jewish, half-Greek.

We thought this would go great in the living room. What about here?

You're not putting that here.

This always happens to me. Quick, go get a broom.

The clock can't stay.

It won't stay. Trust me.

I'm not myself since I stopped smoking...

sixteen years ago.

You stopped smoking 16 years ago?

Are you joking?

Ready?

Happy birthday, Brandon.

- I don't believe it. - That's Patrick...

here, and that's Violet.

- God, they're beautiful. - I got one more surprise.

- What? - Come on.

Look who's here.

Surprise!

Brandon, how old are you?

You are so bad.

- Happy birthday. - Did you know?

No.

- Brandon. - Rodney.

I got him.

You kidding?

- Fantastic. - The whole family's here. Andrew.

- Can I push the dog off the raft? - No, that's not a nice thing to do.

- It would be fun though. - Fun for you, not for the dog.

Nick!

I'm off to England. Financing came through.

What's wrong?

You better get a test.

- Why? - That flu...

wasn't the flu.

I got it.

You tested positive?

Yep.

How?

Dave said it happened before we met.

- You won't leave me, will you? - No.

I won't leave you.

Better not use my razor if you want to stay negative.

- Look at yourself. - "Look at yourself."

- What do you see, girl? - "What do you see, girl?"

- Do you see the body of a woman? - "Body of a woman?"

- The temple of creation and motherhood? - Your lunch is served.

The flesh of Eve that man, since Adam, has profaned?

That body was meant for begetting children.

It was not meant for the lust of men.

- "The lust of men." - Want more children, Lilith?

"I want more children.

"A lot more children."

There's a really good scene coming up.

If you won't kill him, I will.

I got a meeting I've got to get to.

He joked about them.

Said if we ran into dinosaurs on Mars, Renee should take care of them.

If nothing else works, maybe gas?

Are you crazy? You should be in bed.

Come on back to the house.

Why? So you can leave again?

Do you want to get sick again?

Dave said that your T-cells are up, so just...

come on back.

Nicky, Brandon's here.

I thought you weren't due back until tomorrow.

Obviously.

Miss Texas-at-Large, meet Brandon Theis, famous director.

My pleasure.

He's just returned from another one of his...

business trips.

Outside.

Hello, Brandon.

- Nick, come on in. The water's good. - I'll be in later.

- What's with all these freaks? - You never liked my friends.

Tony is practically living here in my house.

It's my house, too.

- What? - Who negotiated the deal?

Who designed it?

You stayed eight years without paying for...

Stayed here?

My financial planning saved your ass and this house. You owe me.

- You're out of control. - Yeah, really?

Really?

Fine, we'll divide it in half.

I'll take this side...

with the freaks.

Don't park there.

Who's this?

- Zack. He's helping me on my film. - And you're helping him with his homework.

- Knock it off. - Are you due for a midlife crisis?

Excuse me, your car is blocking my side of the drive.

So either move it, or I'll have it towed.

That does it. I want you out.

Hey, wait.

Stop!

Where is he taking them?

I sold them.

- To who? - "Whom." It was an auction. I don't know.

- You get them back. - I can't.

Opala. Hi, baby.

Fucking asshole, you are not taking Opala.

She is my dog. You gave her to me.

I don't care. You're not taking her.

Fine.

You know, you should never cross a Greek.

We're fair, but we are merciless.

Oh, no!

Sorry, Houdini.

Oh, man.

Houdini, sit.

Stay. Good boy.

Oh, man. Damn it.

Shoot.

Christmas season is usually big box-office season for the film industry.

But storms across the nation have literally frozen ticket sales.

Captive audiences across the nation have...

Donald, what's happening?

Tony, sorry I'm late.

Third time this week.

You do it again, you'll get off a week.

- Hey, Nick. - Hey, Chad, what's happening?

It's Chuck, not Chad.

Well at least it isn't Chip.

All right, don't bust a gut. Go to a lighter weight.

Fuck!

- Now will you do it? - Do what?

Nick, you're dropping things. You're forgetting things.

Listen to Dave. Do the scan.

You look like you caught your balls in your zipper, Dr. Dave.

I've fought everything else off for three years.

It's PML?

Yes.

Let's see these little fuckers.

There's a lesion here and here.

They're advanced.

I have 10 days till I croak, right?

- But it could also be several months. - We've had this conversation.

How long before I become a rutabaga?

Any vision problems?

My right eye is like I'm looking through a tampon.

So...

it will be like Jim?

Yes. It will be like Jim.

Do you know what I always said I'd do if I got PML?

I remember.

Time for Plan B.

My driving days is over.

- Sure about this? - I thought about it a long time.

I'm not going to die blind, demented and lying in my own shit.

I'm here for you, no matter what.

I know.

Hello, this is Nick. Can I speak to my mother?

- What can I do? - You're doing it.

Amalia? I need you to meet me at my place.

Yeah. Now.

- Find your passport? - Right here.

We're going to the airport from work, right?

Okay, let me see.

Hello.

Nick?

Good guess.

What's up?

My headaches won't go away.

Yes?

And I've lost my keys for the tenth time.

You called Dave?

He wants me to take more tests. He's given me pills.

- You taking them? - Yes.

Maybe you should try a sleeping pill.

Right.

Feel like dropping by?

- I can't. - Why not?

I'm going out of town. Jesus, you haven't called in a year.

Right, and you have?

I don't need this right now.

You haven't changed a bit.

Have a safe trip.