The Life List

- How's this? - Cool.

Sexy. I like it.

I think I'm going to change.

Stop eating the salad.

Come in.

I wanted to let you know people are starting to arrive.

Great. Is Alex here yet?

Uh, no. But she is gonna be bringing her bean salad.

Ah. Alex is on Alex time...

...and there's never a good time for that bean salad.

But you know what? Let's... Let's give her a break today.

Mom, you are always making excuses for her. You realize that, right?

It's 'cause she's my favorite child.

- Okay, the truth finally comes out. - Oh!

- Ouch! - I'm still your favorite son, right?

Oh, sure.

"Why aren't you married yet?"

"Why do you work in a record store?"

"Why'd you give up teaching?"

"Why didn't you finish college?"

Why didn't you finish college?

I'm a life guy. I learn by living, you know?

You love that about me.

Right, right.

Right.

Hey, how about this?

What about we go in there, we say our hellos,

and then you give me the high sign, we sneak off to your childhood bedroom

and make out surrounded by the Barbies and Kens.

Mm, you're not getting anywhere near my Barbies, buster.

Hmm.

- I'm going to take this into the kitchen. - Okay.

- Hey, Lucas. Hey, Zoe. - Hey!

Happy baby shower.

- There it is. Looks good. - Yeah. Famous bean salad.

Yeah.

Super good.

Auntie Allie!

Hi, guys.

This party is so boring, and Dad won't let us have cake until later.

What is it with parents, huh?

How about one of our famous scavenger hunts?

Okay, I want six items that I could find in Harry or Hermione's room.

And bonus points for anything that can be used to make boring adults disappear.

Got it?

Oh, one second.

You guys need proper nutritional preparation before we commence.

Okay.

- Zoe, I want you to meet Julia. - Hi.

- Hi. - Nice to meet you.

Alex! Hi!

Oh, Kelly, wow. Oh my God, look at you.

No, don't. I'm so big.

But so beautiful.

Aw, why, thank you.

I heard you had to give up teaching.

- And you're working for your mother now? - Yeah.

And your boyfriend has a job at a record store?

I didn't know there were record stores anymore.

Uh-huh. There's one left.

The rest of the time, he's developing a video game called

either American Zombie: Blood Apocalypse or Playground Armageddon.

And one day, you'll make your mommy buy it for you.

Yes, you will. Yes, you will!

I've got to go grab Alex for a second.

Elizabeth, I am dying for you to meet my friend Katie.

She's a huge fan of Rose Cosmetics. Come meet her. Two seconds, two seconds.

Oh my God. Thank God you're here.

I thought I was the only woman under 40 not pregnant or lactating.

Hi. How are you?

Insufferable bitches. I hate them all.

Yeah. They're just jealous because they don't get out anymore.

Yeah. Except you don't go out anymore either.

Or even call your friends back.

What is going on with you?

Anybody want a gummy?

Yes. Can I have the, uh...

- They're five milligrams... - Awesome.

- Times four. You should be good to go. - Excellent.

- See you in five hours. - You're not driving home, right?

- Then you're fine. - Where's Elliot?

- We broke up. - Sorry.

- I gotta go. - Yeah. No, it's fine.

I've already gone on two...

Did you give the kids cake?

Uh...

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

- That was me. - Definitely.

Julian, relax. I mean, right? Like, all we're saying is...

- Let them eat cake. - Lots of it.

What could possibly go wrong?

Let's go to Auntie Alex's room. Maybe she has a fountain pen.

- Slow down! - Hurry up already!

Finn, you have a really big willy.

Thank you.

- Am I grounded? - Forever.

- I don't think Julian'll ever forgive you. - Is that a promise?

- Hi. - Hi.

Mmm.

Hmm.

Seriously, though. What is going on with you?

- What do you mean? - Um...

I don't know. I feel like maybe you're floundering a little bit.

Feeling a little lost.

Lost?

I have a new boyfriend and a great job.

Working for your mother?

Selling makeup to women twice your age? What a dream.

Yeah, but it's a job.

With a future and security, and a job I thought I was getting pretty good at.

Yeah, you're good at it.

It's not who you are.

It's not what you're passionate about.

- Passion is overrated. - What?

It is. It never lasts, and it's completely exhausting.

Besides, isn't that what my generation is all about?

Lowering expectations and letting go of childish dreams?

Alex, you do not believe that.

Besides, I love working for you, Mom.

I do.

You built this incredible business all by yourself, and...

and I want to be a part of it.

And make you proud.

Well, since you put it that way.

- Mom. - Hmm?

I have some news.

Oh?

Finn officially asked me to move in.

Oh.

Well, at least until I find a new place. In the meantime, we both save on rent.

How romantic.

Why do you guys all hate him?

Is it because he didn't finish college?

Neither did Steve Jobs.

I do not hate Finn.

I think he is a very sweet boy

who loves video games

and apparently has a large...

Oh my God, Mom. You have to stop.

Okay, I'll stop.

For now.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I have news too.

It's back.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay, so they'll just have to get rid of it again.

No.

We'll find another doctor, and...

And I read about these treatments they're doing in Germany

that apparently are really effective.

And I will stop working...

- Alex. - And move in.

And I will take care of you until you get better.

No.

No magic treatments in Germany.

No cure that's ten times worse than the disease.

It's not going to make a difference.

Not this time.

Come here.

What am I going to do with you?

What am I going to do without you?

Hey, sweetie.

Ready to make an appearance?

Gonna be okay?

- Hi, Sam. - It's good to see you. Really is.

- Don't you think it's surreal? - How do you mean?

All of these people here except the one person who's supposed to be.

I keep expecting her to walk out of the kitchen and tell me to stop slouching.

I didn't know Dad was gonna be here.

They were married for 20 years, most of them, happy.

- Of course he was gonna be there. - Whatever.

I just hate when he talks as if

the divorce was some kind of mutual decision.

Like, bro, he left her.

I hope your mom was clear about dividing stuff up.

You don't wanna be like the Nelsons. They don't talk to each other anymore.

Agreed. As long as I get the Tamayo painting in the front hall.

God, Mom's barely been gone a week, and all you can talk about is her stuff?

That's easy for you to say. You're inheriting the company.

You don't know that. I've barely worked a year.

Why do you think Catherine spent so much time training you?

God, you make me sound like a pet.

Stop it, both of you.

Alex is doing great at work.

She's entirely ready for what's ahead.

Hello, everyone. Apologies for being late.

I'd just like to say how truly sorry I am for your loss.

Uh, who are you exactly?

My name is Brad Ackerman.

I worked with your mother on the final draft of her will.

- Where's old man Sullivan? - Mr. Sullivan is in his office.

Um, it's Brad, right?

I'm sorry, but are you even a partner here?

I'm an associate partner.

Maybe we should ask to see his law degree.

You must be Alex.

And let me guess,