The Italian Job

Hello.

Hello, sweetie.

Daddy.

It's early.

Yeah, I know.

I just wanted to let you know I'm sending you something.

Does it smell nice?

No, but it's sparkly.

Does it have a receipt?

I'm sending it to you from the store.

Why don't you just come by? We'll have some breakfast.

Well, it'd be a long trip.

I'm in Venice.

With your parole officer's approval, of course.

Well, I like the guy, Stella, you know that,

but we never really connected.

So I think I've paid my PO his last visit.

What are you into, Dad?

Don't break my heart. You told me you were through.

After this I am, I swear to you.

Is Charlie there?

I'm on a cell phone, darling.

I'll call you tomorrow from a land line.

I love you. Go back to sleep. Bye.

Dad?

I love you, too.

I sent it.

You're supposed to do your shopping after we pull off the job.

- I feel so optimistic. - Oh?

- How do you feel? - I'm fine.

Fine?

You know what "Fine" stands for, don't you?

Yeah, unfortunately.

"Freaked out."

- "Insecure." - "Neurotic."

- And "Emotional." - Good.

See those columns behind you?

What about them?

That's where they used to string up thieves who felt "Fine."

Well, after you.

For after the haul.

Hope I get to fire it up.

- Still no word from the garbage men? - No.

If they're a no-show,

it's three months of prep down the tubes

and I dragged you out of retirement for nothing.

Oh, this is fun. I like this.

You taking over the reins, and all the worries.

Me, loosey-goosey, just along for the ride.

I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, John.

Just remember, a police boat can get from the station

to our position in seven.

That means you got four minutes to work your magic.

No, you told me ten, and you said I would have five.

When?

Do not be messing with me right now, okay? I will kick your ass.

Oh, yeah?

Come on, take your best shot. Come on.

What?

Come on. Let's go.

- What is it this time? - Da Vinci.

- Architect. Engineer. Painter. - Yeah, fascinating.

Hey, look. Check this out.

"Learn the language of poetry, art, romance, sex."

Unlike you, my friend, I don't need a guidebook.

- Can we go? Please? - Right, guvnor.

Come along, make yourself useful. Untie that line.

- Today. - Yeah.

Yeah, Gilligan, if you don't mind.

- Are we set? - Yeah.

I've enhanced the viewing matrix

to track both the Cartesian coordinates and three altitude angles,

the yaw, pitch and roll, to give us

the exact position and orientation of our baby.

We're in Italy. Speak English.

Steve, how we looking?

Papa took the boat to work at 8:15, so the garage is empty.

Mama left with daughter at 8:30 for preschool as usual.

So for the next 45 minutes

we own this place, gentlemen.

Still no word from the garbage men?

Hey, who got you the beekeepers in Budapest?

They'll be there. You can trust these guys.

Steve, how many times do I have to tell you?

I trust everyone. I just don't trust the devil inside them.

We're in.

Just tell me where to paint.

- Your men are still not in position? - They will be.

But you don't know that, Steve. We should abort.

I'm sorry, John, but I think that's Charlie's call now.

Our baby's being taken out of here tonight,

and this is our only shot at it.

Charlie?

Keep going?

It's up to you, kid.

It's a go.

Okay, Steve.

From the west wall, measure 14'8".

Got it.

Now measure 8'5" from the north wall.

That's the northwest corner of our baby.

- Got it. - Well, it's right above you.

Look how they play. Look at them.

They play so bad.

- They are no-good. - Are you joking? I bet on the game.

Now, paint.

2'9" wide...

2'5" deep.

Okay, Left Ear, you're up.

14'4" from that west wall.

This game sucks.

Penalty? Kiss my ass!

Yeah.

- This is it. We are ready. - Good.

Whenever you want.

The garbage men are in position, John.

Holy cow!

What happened?

I'll go and check what happened.

Go! Now!

I'll go downstairs to see what happened.

It will be a hole as big as a house.

They left.

We are reaching them.

All right, Charlie, someone just called it in.

The police boat's heading your way.

Seven minutes and counting. Let's go.

We got four minutes to load and leave. Let's go.

Come on!

Attention. We are searching for a witness.

Hey, you guys, come here.

I want to propose a toast.

To us.

- Yeah! - Right!

And I want to propose a toast to Charlie

because we just stole $35 million worth of gold

without even holding a gun because he planned this down to a T.

Nobody else could have done that. Nobody.

- Charlie! - Charlie!

Thank you.

So, come on, gentlemen.

Shopping lists. Who's doing what? Spare no dirty details.

Come on, you guys.

Take a lesson from an old man.

Don't spend it. Invest.

In what?

In gold.

Let's figure out how to get out of here first, all right?

What are you getting, Rob?

I don't know, there's a lot of things you can buy with a lot of money.

Now, I'm just thinking about naked girls in leather seats.

Obviously. See?

I suppose I'd get the Aston Martin Vanquish.

There's not a lot a girl won't do

on the passenger seat of one of those things.

I'm going to get a NAD T770

digital decoder with the 70-watt amps and Burr-Brown DACs.

- Yeah. - It's a big stereo.

Speakers so loud they blow women's clothes off.

Now you're talking.

35 million dollars, you can't get more creative than that, man?

I'm going to Andalusia, south of Spain, right there.

Get me a big house.

Get me a library full of first editions.

Get a room for my shoes.

What about you, Steve?

I don't know, I haven't decided yet.

You haven't decided yet?

Come on, man. Is it the mountain air or just...

I liked what you said. I'll take one of each of yours.

- Well, two of everything for Steve, then. - Two of those.

Loved the toast.

But you could've pulled this off with your eyes closed.

No, you were incredible.

Just incredible.

You saw the whole picture. You covered all the angles.

You know, Charlie...

there are two kinds of thieves in this world...

the ones who steal to enrich their lives...

and the ones who steal to define their lives.

Don't be the latter.

Makes you miss out on what's really important in this life.

What are you talking about, John?

You've been a good father.

Sending presents doesn't make you a good father.

I spent half my kid's life in prison.

Don't get to be my age with nothing but this, Charlie.

Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with...

and hold on to her forever.

Okay?

Hey.

Let's go. I'm freezing my ass off.

Yeah.

Steve's getting cold. You, too?

I'm all right.

I love you, kid. You did really great.

Thanks, John.

Let's go.

You should've seen Rob behind the wheel of that boat.

He was like Don Johnson.