Something Beautiful

Can I make the call now?

Gotta make it look real.

Do it quick, before you pass out.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

And?

What if I told you you could turn this piece of crap into four grand?

For each of us.

Minimum.

This little fella, he's called the "Merry Wanderer."

He's not much to look at, he's easy to find. I got this one at a pawn shop for 20 bucks.

But he has a cousin called "Bavarian Boy."

Almost identical.

Same umbrella, same swagger.

That one is worth a boatload.

And I gather you know where to find a "Bavarian Boy"?

I do indeed.

He's gathering dust on a shelf in an office up on San Mateo.

He's been there for God knows how long. They have no idea what they got.

To them, it's not "Bavarian Boy," it's "some junk Grandma gave me...

...I feel too guilty to get rid of." That's where you come in.

This place, they're not exactly what you call "security-conscious."

There's no cameras whatsoever.

There's an alarm on the door that I could probably bridge.

And past that, you just pick a lock, walk over to the shelf...

...swap this Wanderer for that Boy, and it's five minutes, max.

Warm up, gentlemen?

Yeah, thanks, Fran.

-Oh, thanks. -That's cute.

Isn't it, though?

Have your food up in a jiff, Mike.

Look, they're not even gonna know it's gone.

They look at the shelf, they see the same dumb tchotchke...

...they've been looking at for years.

There's no serial number. These things are practically untraceable.

You send Pryce or some other schlub to Dallas--

Next week, they have a collectibles expo.

Those people are hungry for Hummels.

Their eyes are gonna pop when they see what we brung them.

And they will pay through the nose, which we will split fifty-fifty.

So it's perfect, right?

We make some nice Hummel-loving lady happy...

...and we make a bundle.

Let's do something beautiful here.

And how did you come across this valuable wunderkind?

-What difference does it make? -Guys in the office cross you?

Done you wrong?

What?

You're missing the point. It's free money.

You walk by a 20 on the sidewalk? No, you pick it up.

-Pass. -What? Why?

It's not for me.

Not for you?

Is there some problem I'm not seeing, like, with the swap or something?

The plan's fine as far as it goes. It's just not for me.

And I don't think it should be for you either.

I'm sorry about your brother.

Yeah, thanks. You're really not gonna do this?

Sorry.

-Eggs, easy. -Thanks, Fran.

-Can I get you anything else? -No, I'm good.

-Sure I can't get you anything? -No, I'm not hungry. Thanks.

All right.

I....

If you don't want easy money, that's your business.

I just thought I'd give you first crack at a golden opportunity.

All right. See you around.

You take it easy.

Yes, hello.

I was wondering if Dr. Caldera had any openings today?

As soon as possible. I have a very sick fish.

Who did this?

Don't know.

Drove a silver car.

Firebird, maybe?

Thanks. And thanks again for the lift.

-It's outside your job description, I know. -It's no problem.

So the acquisitions?

Yes. We'll need to draft contracts for the target banks.

The idea is to have the agreements ready to go while doing due diligence.

You want me to start cracking on a draft when we're done?

No, but thank you.

I'll do the first pass, then you can proof it.

Sure, whatever's best for you.

Here's what I'm thinking: looking at the competition...

...one opportunity stands out.

They don't have the market share, but--

And this is a big deal. --Walker Ridge is eager.

I agree.

They took a hit in the market adjustment. They're vulnerable and they know it.

We should prepare a package for both with that--

Is that Kim Wexler I hear?

Kevin. It's good to see you.

Heard you were here, wanted to say hi. Look at you.

Baby bird with a broken wing.

It's fine. It doesn't even hurt. Just a pain in the butt.

Kevin, this is Viola Goto, my new paralegal.

-Kevin Wachtell. Welcome to the team. -Nice to meet you.

Listen, Kim, I just wanted to say how sorry I am about Charles McGill.

It's no secret I had problems with the man...

...but no one should go like that.

I just have to ask, how's James handling it?

Oh, he's-- He's getting through it.

He and the family appreciated the arrangement you sent for the funeral.

-Good. Well, glad to hear. -Kevin, we're meeting the board at noon...

-...to go over Kim's recommendations, so-- -No, no, no. I won't slow you down.

Oh, one more thing. And this will just take a second.

Kim, you have got to see the models.

The models?

Takes your breath away, doesn't it?

Look at this.

The whole side of this building is glass. And it's on a north-facing lot.

I'm told that's energy-efficient, so I'm excited.

This is Salt Lake City?

After Provo, why not?

And Cheyenne, Wyoming?

Yep.

Over here, North Platte, Nebraska.

Now, these two you already know.

This one's gonna be Ogden, Utah...

...this one here is Tucumcari.

And over here on this side, you got a few new ones.

Sedona. Pueblo, Colorado.

And you know what? That's just the tip of the iceberg.

After that, I figure, why not Las Vegas? Nevada, I mean. Reno too.

Lubbock, Texas.

Amarillo, San Antonio, El Paso.

We're gonna get up to the Pacific Northwest.

Boise. Bend, Oregon.

Eugene, Salem, all the way up to Portland.

Now, this one is real special.

Denver. See here?

We're gonna add more trees on the west side.

That'll be great. And then, maybe...

...a bench or two on the outside. Kim, is there something wrong?

No. No, no.

No, it's just....

It's a lot. It's a very fast, aggressive expansion.

Kevin figures once we get a foothold in Utah...

-...then we'll file for federal charter. -Yeah.

We're really building something here.

All your hard work is making a difference.

I mean, Kim, this is what it's all about.

So I can get the notes to you by EOD, if that's okay.

Oh, yeah. That's fine.

Do you have a sense when I should expect your draft?

I assume you're dictating it?

Actually, you were right before.

You take a stab at it, then I'll take a look.

Great. That works. I'll start on that right after I get you home.

Instead of taking me home, drop me off at the courthouse, would you?

I didn't realize you had an appearance. I would've prepped.

No, no. I don't.

-You don't? -Nothing to prep.

Don't worry about it.

Yeah.

No.

No. Not quite.

I-- I've done business with him before, yeah.

Once. Once.

Just the once.

Yeah. No. Yeah, I guess.

-I don't know. He didn't say. -Well?

Yeah, he's not into it.

He's not into it or you're not into it? Give me that.

Doesn't work that way. No direct contact, that's the point.

Just give it to me.

Hey, this is the interested party.

I have one question for you: do you shit gold?

It's a simple "yes" or "no." Do you shit gold?

No? All right, then.

Because unless you currently have a gold nugget traversing your colon...

...this is the easiest money you'll ever make.

How long does it take for you to pick a Yale three-pin?

Then, in eight minutes, you're gonna make four grand.

Ten minutes if you pick your nose.

In, out, no one comes looking for you. Ever. How does that sound?

Yeah, I know where that is. Here. Pen.

In a half an hour.

Yeah.

Listen, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job, but....

-All right, Mr. McGill, you're all set. -Thank you very much.

-See you next time. -I hope she feels better soon.

Excuse me.

Can I help you?

Jesus.

All right, not here. Let me go grab my bag and tell my staff.

Jesus.

Can you not hit every damn pothole, please?

Careful. Careful.

Up, up.

You, ayuda. Come here. Help.

Well, well. There he is.

You woke up.

That means my Spanish is good enough...

...and Yul Brynner here is actually O-negative.

Okay.

I had to leave a bullet in your shoulder.

It might set off metal detectors from now on.

Gave you a dose of broad-spectrum antibiotics.

Let's see.