Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Random thoughts for Valentine's day, 2004.

Today is a holiday invented by greeting-card companies

to make people feel like crap.

I ditched work today.

Took a train out to montauk.

I don't know why.

I'm not an impulsive person.

I guess I just woke up in a funk this morning.

I gotta get my car fixed.

Hi, Cindy. It's Joel.

Listen, I don't feel very well today.

No, food poisoning, I think.

It's goddamn freezing on this beach.

Montauk in February. Brilliant, Joel.

Pages ripped out. Don't remember doing that.

It appears this is my first entry in two years.

Sand is overrated.

It's just tiny little rocks.

If only I could meet someone new.

I guess my chances of that happening

are somewhat diminished,

since I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know.

Maybe I should get back together with Naomi. She was nice.

Nice is good.

She loved me.

Why do I fall in love with every woman I see

who shows me the least bit of attention?

Hi.

I'm sorry? I just said hi.

Hi, hello.

Okay if I sit closer?

How far are you going?

Rockville center.

Get out. Me, too.

Really?

What are the odds?

Listen, do I know you?

Do you ever shop at Barnes and noble?

Sure.

That's it! Yeah?

I've seen you, man.

Book slave there for five years now.

Jesus!

I would have thought I would remember you.

It might be the hair.

What might?

It changes a lot, the color.

That's why you might not recognize me.

It's called blue ruin. Right.

The color. Snappy name, huh?

I like it.

This company makes a whole line of colors with equally snappy names.

You've got red menace, yellow fever, green revolution.

That would be a job, coming up with those names.

You think there could possibly be a job like that?

I mean, how many hair colors could there be? 15 maybe?

Someone's got that job.

Agent orange. I came up with that one.

I apply my personality in a paste.

I doubt that very much.

Well, you don't know me, so you don't know, do you?

I'm sorry. I was just trying to be nice.

Yeah. I got it.

My name's Clementine, by the way.

I'm Joel.

Hi, Joel.

No jokes about my name.

Oh, no. You wouldn't do that.

You're trying to be nice.

I don't know any jokes about your name.

Huckleberry hound.

I don't know what that means.

Huckleberry hound? What are you, nuts?

It's been suggested.

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling oh, my darling Clementine

you are lost and gone forever dreadful sorry, Clementine

no?

I'm sorry.

It's a pretty name, though. It really is nice.

It means merciful, right? Clemency?

Although it hardly fits.

I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.

I wouldn't think that about you.

Why wouldn't you think that about me?

I don't know.

You seem nice.

Now I'm nice?

Oh, god, don't you know any other adjectives?

I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it

and I don't need anybody to be it at me.

Okay.

It's Joel, right?

Yes.

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

I'm a little out of sorts today.

My embarrassing admission

is I really like that you're nice right now.

I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm going to like,

but right now I'm glad you are.

I have some stuff that I probably should...

I'm writing... I'm sorry. Okay.

No. Sure. That's okay.

Take care, then.

Jesus.

I could give you a ride if you need.

It's cold.

Yeah! Okay. It is frosty.

You're not a stalker or anything, right?

I'm not a stalker. You're the one that talked to me, remember?

That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.

Really? There's a stalker book?

I've got to read that one.

Look, I'm sorry if I came off sort of Nutso.

I'm not really.

That's okay. I didn't think you were.

Do you want to have a drink?

I have lots of drinks, and I could...

Never mind. Sorry, that was stupid. I'm embarrassed now.

Good night, Joel.

Two blue ruins.

Thank you.

Drink up, young man.

It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.

I'm just kidding! Come on.

You're kind of close-mouthed, aren't you?

I'm sorry.

You know, my life isn't that interesting.

I go to work, I come home.

I don't know what to say.

You should read my journal.

I mean, it's just blank.

Really? Does that make you sad or anxious?

I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest.

Taking advantage of every possibility

and making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.

I think about that. Yeah?

You're really nice.

God, I have to stop saying that.

I'm gonna marry you. I know it.

Okay.

Joel, you should come up to the Charles with me sometime.

It gets frozen this time of year.

That sounds scary. Exactly.

I'll pack a picnic, a night picnic.

Night picnics are different.

That sounds good.

But I should go now.

You should stay.

No, I really have...

I have to get up so early and...

I would like you to call me.

Would you do that? I'd like it.

Yes.

Wish me a happy Valentine's day when you call.

That'd be nice.

What took you so long?

I just walked in.

You miss me?

Oddly enough, I do.

You said I do. I guess that means we're married.

I guess so.

Tomorrow night? Honeymoon on ice?

It's really solid this time of year.

I don't know. Come on.

It's so beautiful.

Isn't it?

Don't go too far.

Are you okay?

Oh, my ass!

I think I should go back. Come on!

But what if it breaks?

What if? Do you really care right now?

Come here, please.

Slidey-slidey.

This looks good.

Let me show you this one thing.

What are you doing?

Come on.

Think I heard a crack.

It's not going to crack. Or break.

It's so thick.

Show me which constellations you know.

I don't know any.

Show me which ones you know.

Okay.

There's osidius.

Where?

Right there. See?

A sort of a swoop and a cross.

Osidius the emphatic.

You're full of shit, right?

No. Osidius, right there.

Swoop and a cross.

Shut the fuck up!

Cock-a-doodle-doo.

Sorry to wake you, but we're here.

Can I come over to your house,

to sleep? I'm so tired.

Okay. Yeah, sure.

Let me get my toothbrush.