No Strings Attached

So... I'm pretty good at archery.

That'll be useful if you ever have a time machine

and your time machine breaks, and you're stuck in the Medieval Ages.

You're funny. It's weird.

Yeah. I'm weird.

Me too.

Yeah, right. Everyone loves you and your dad's like famous, or something.

My parents are getting a divorce, that's why I had to go to camp, so...

- Are you crying? - No.

Jesus.

Look... I'm not really an affectionate person.

People aren't meant to be together forever.

You think so?

Yeah.

Can I finger you?

No.

OK.

- Come on, baby, I got ya! - Don't drop me!

Hey! Hey!

Patrice!

Oh, my God! I told you that this was a pajama party.

What are you wearing? What is this?

You're wearing actual long johns? What?!

This is a frat party.

You just have to be drunk and look hot.

Watch and learn.

Hey. Hey!

I'm so drunk!

Drink! Drink! Drink!

Hey, do you know that girl?

The sexy pioneer?

I think I know her.

I'd have sex with a pioneer. For sure.

A hungry pioneer lost on the trail.

- Do I know you? - Hi, Adam Franklin of Camp Weehawken.

I'm Emma Kurtzman. You tried to finger me?

Yeah. Wow! Do you go here? Why?

- What are you doing at a party of frat? - No. I go to MIT,

but I have this family thing, and I grew up in Ann Arbor.

MIT? Wow. So you grew up to be a lot smarter than me.

Yeah, sometimes my neck gets sore.

- Why? - 'Cause my brain's so big.

I agree, it didn't work. Drop it.

I like you.

What? Why? You don't even know me.

I like you.

I have to go to this stupid thing tomorrow. You wanna come with me?

Yeah, sure. I'll come with you.

- What is it? - Some stupid thing.

I wanted to leave you with something David said to me

almost every day at the lab.

It's Einstein.

"There are only two ways to live your life.

One, as if nothing is a miracle.

The other, as if everything is a miracle."

For David, there was no bigger miracle than his family.

His daughters, Emma and Katie, and his wife, Sandra.

Mom?

I want you to meet Adam.

I'm so sorry.

And this is my sister, Katie, and her lover, Kevin.

Boyfriend. And my best friend.

Oh, well... thank you. I didn't know you were dating someone, Emma.

Oh, I'm not.

I just had a one-night stand with him when I was 14.

It was a really nice funeral.

I'm sorry.

I'm glad you stayed.

Me too.

So, I'll call you, or something...

Adam, you're wonderful.

If you're lucky, you're never gonna see me again.

Yes.

Hey.

Did we? Yes, we did. We went to college together.

You have two gay dads.

Yeah, I'm the man with the two gay dads.

They helped me move my boxes sophomore year.

They're the best. I love them. I'm super straight, though.

- So, yeah. - OK.

- You're Patrice, right? - Yes.

Yeah, Eli. I'm with... Adam!

I'll be right back.

Pick up some of that kettle corn.

- It's Patrice. - Hey!

- Patrice! Hey! - How are you?

- Weird. - Wow.

I haven't seen you in... wow.

- How are you? - Good.

Adam.

Emma.

What is this, the Peach Pit?

- And, yeah, that was a 90210 reference. - Yeah, you're super straight.

- What are you doing here? - I just moved here a week ago.

I'm doing my residency at the Westwood Teaching Hospital.

- Hi. - Vanessa, this is Emma.

- Emma, Vanessa. - Hi. How do you do?

This is our friend, Patrice.

- Hi. How do you do? - How do I what?

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi, you look nice.

It's nice to meet you.

You remember my sister, Katie. She's just finishing school here.

Yeah. I haven't seen you guys since...

- Yeah, Dad's funeral. - Dad's funeral.

Sad.

OK. Well, we should head out, so...

Yeah, we should, too. You know...

But we should hang out. Let me just... I'll get your number.

Yeah, just give me your phone. I'll put it in there.

Yeah, that's probably easier.

We really have to be somewhere now, so...

Yeah. We should...

Totally. Totally.

All right, well, good to hang out.

- Good seeing you guys. Have fun. - Yeah.

- Take care. - Take care, ladies.

And cut!

- Great. - That's good.

- OK! Yeah! - Great. Great.

OK, guys, we're gonna do this again. All right? Five minutes.

- All right, let's... - Good job.

- Great job. Great job... - Wait. What are, people?

- Hey, Benji! Good scene. - Cool. Thanks.

You looked great!

Sari. I told you to play hard to get.

I'm incredibly easy to get!

Adam.

You were gonna ask me something before the break.

- What was it? - Yeah, I...

Wait, wait, wait. Fuck, fuckety-fuck. What was it? Stop.

You wanted to know if you could get off early to see your dad,

- which is, yeah, totally fine. - Thank you.

By the way, tell your dad, it's like my favorite show ever.

Love it, own it, lost it, bought it again. It's so great.

"Great Scott!"

- You probably hear that all the time. - Not that much.

Yeah.

Chuck!

Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time,

I'm gonna take that thing away.

Hello. How can I help you?

- Hey, Philippe, it's Adam. - Hi. Come in.

- Hey, Dad. - Hey.

Check it out.

Vinyasa yoga and the Army Ranger workout.

- I combined them! - Wow. That's very impressive.

I'm gonna do a video, I think. Vinyasa Power.

I can almost see where your muscles go.

Very funny. Hit me.

No, I'm not gonna hit you. I don't want to hurt you.

You're not gonna hurt me.

Come on, hit me. Give me your best shot.

Come on, quick, before I get a hernia!

No.

You're right. Let's smoke some weed.

This is really good stuff.

My agent got me one of those medical marijuana cards.

It's nice to see they're supporting your career.

Yeah. So, how's the show going?

I mean, great.

I mean, it's about high-schoolers who sing and dance and blog.

At least you're writing, that's what's important.

No. I'm an assistant.

Well, but... at least they've seen your writing.

Not yet.

Actually...

I wanted to get your opinion on this episode that I wrote.

Kind of a sample.

That's my boy.

I'll take a look at it, sure. And then I'll call somebody.

No. Do not call anyone. Just read it and tell me what you think.

OK.

So...

Are you having sex?

Yes. I'm having sex.

'Cause if you want any pointers, you know...

...I can help you out. If there's one thing you learn

after two failed marriages, it's how to eat kitty.

- Anyone special? - No.

I mean, not since Vanessa.

It's been a year. It's time to move on.

It's been eight months, Dad.

What did you want to talk to me about, anyway?

- You got a dog? Seriously, that's... - Freckles! Come!

You didn't tell him yet?

Damn!

I...

Adam, I wanted to tell you. I was just about to tell you.

How long?

- Well... - How long?

Not long. I...

She needed a place to stay because, you know, her landlord is such a D-bag.

Christmas. I ran into her at a party.

We got to talking. About you, mostly.

It looked so soft!

It's not. God!

Oh, that really hurt. Damn.

You're fucking my ex-girlfriend?

Well, yeah, but...