Chapter Three: The Case of the Missing Lifeguard

Oh, you found Ralph Macchio.

-Macchio? -Yeah, he's the Karate Kid.

Hai-yah!

He's so hot, right?

I bet he's an amazing kisser, too.

Hey, uh...

is Mike a good kisser?

I don't know.

He's my first boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend.

Hey, don't worry about it. Okay?

He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness.

I guarantee you, him and Lucas are, like,

totally wallowing in self-pity and misery right now.

They're like, "Oh, I hope they take us back."

God, what I wouldn't give to see their stupid faces.

What is it?

Is this really gonna work?

Holy shit, this is insane.

-Max. -Yeah, quiet. I'm sorry.

What's wrong with me? What did I do wrong?

Nothing.

What did I do wrong? What could I have done wrong?

Do I have to go through this again?

I see them.

What are they doing?

Eating.

I just don't understand what I did to deserve this.

Nothing. Nothing. That's my whole point.

You are the victim here.

I know. It's just, why is she treating me this way?

-I don't know. -Mike--

What did I do wrong?

-What did I do wrong?! -Mike, stop.

Relax. Just relax.

Okay? Stop asking rational questions.

I know, I know, you're right.

-Yeah. -Because women act on emotion

-and not logic. -Precisely.

It's a totally different species.

They say we are "species."

-What? -"Emotion, not logic."

What?

Guys, it's ready.

-Will, not right now. -They broke up with you.

-What else is there to talk about? - Tons.

Yeah, we're trying to solve the great mystery of the female species.

Dude, you can smell the nacho cheese.

-I got that beat. -What?

-Oh, no. - No, Lucas, no.

No!

-Lucas! Lucas! -

What happened?

What...

-What? What happened? -

Hey!

Hey!

When I say three inches, three--

Do you knock? Jeez!

Yeah! Jeez!

Oh, hey.

I'm sorry.

-I thought that, uh-- -Mike's not here.

Max wanted to have...

a sleepover.

Is that... okay?

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Your parents know about it?

Yup.

Uh, yeah, it's cool.

Yeah.

That's-- That's really cool.

Did you need something?

No, no.

Uh, I'll leave.

I'll just let you... I'll leave you...

Holy shit, I can't believe we're really doing this.

-Ready? -Ready.

Mr. Wheeler.

Ugh. Boring.

Yeah, boring.

Spin again.

Against the rules?

We make our own rules.

Billy.

Okay, look, I should just warn you,

if he's with a girl or doing something gross,

just get out of there right away before you're scarred for life.

-Max-- -No, I'm just saying, I'm serious.

-He's really gross. -Max!

Okay, shutting up now.

I found him.

What's he doing?

I don't know.

Don't be afraid.

He's...

on the floor...

It'll be over soon.

...talking to someone.

Just stay very still.

Billy!

What is it?

What happened?

- -Yes!

-What are you doing? -Yeah, Will, can you turn down the music?

Please address me by my full name.

-What? -My full name!

Oh, my God. Okay, Will the Wise,

can you please turn down the music?

That is not music.

That... is the sound of destiny!

I have seen into the future, and I've seen that today is a new day,

a day...

free of girls!

What is happening right now?

Will, come on.

A tribe of villagers are under threat from an evil force

from the swamps of Kuzatan.

Will, it's so early.

Is it?

Is it early, Michael?

Tell that to the villagers crying for your help,

the children so frightened,

they cannot sleep.

Are you truly going to let them perish?

Or are you going to come to their rescue

and become the heroes you were always meant to be?

Uh...

Can I at least take a shower first?

Oh, God.

Hopper? Are you there?

Oh! Look who it is!

We need to talk.

Yeah, we do.

I haven't been stood up like that since Alice Gilbert in the 9th grade.

What are you doing?

Joyce.

-Hello? -Just watch.

Okay, you're freaking me out.

-You slipped on this, remember? -Yeah.

Yeah, it fell in the night. It lost its magnetism.

-Oh, did it? -And the same exact thing happened

at my house the day before.

-Wow. -And I thought, "Okay, that's weird."

Right? Why are all these magnets suddenly losing their magnetism?

-Uh-huh? -So, I went and saw Scott.

Scott.

Who's Scott?

-Scott Clarke. -Your child's science teacher?

He's pretty brilliant, actually.

And I asked him, "How is this happening?"

And he built this magnetic field using an AC transformer

and plugging it into a solenoid.

And-- And with that solenoid, which basically--

Slow down, slow down.

I just want to get this exactly right, okay?

You stand me up...

- -...no phone call, no apology,

because you had to go to Scott Clarke's house.

Yeah.

You've outdone yourself, Joyce.

You really have. No, you've outdone yourself.

Oh, come on, Hop, you're not even listening to me.

Scott was able to demagnetize some of the magnets, and he thinks--

I don't care what Scott thinks!

He thinks that a large-scale magnetic field could be built

using some sort of machine or-- or experimental technology.