The Office

Late every day this week.

We signed Ceecee for the staycare,

it's on the other side of town.

The traffic...

- Why didn't I think of this before?

Did you know that there is a daycare center

Opening right here in this building?

Is there really?

Now that I own the building,

I'm looking for new sources of revenue.

And a daycare center?

Well, I guess it's not an evil idea,

It's just a regular idea, but there's no

Good laugh for a regular idea.

Welcome to the sesame Avenue daycare center

For infants and toddlers.

- Aah! - Whoa!

You remember my cousin Mose?

Welcome, children.

- Were you painting in the dark?

- Wait, is this your place, Dwight?

- Oh, no, no, I like to think of it as the kids' place.

Would you like a tour?

- I don't think we really need...

Oh, let's take the tour, Pam.

- Yeah. - Come on.

Here is the language skills

And cognitive development area.

These are English, uh, letters.

I see you found our magical toy box, Jim.

- These are actually forks and knives from the break room.

- Jim, to you and me, maybe. But, come on.

To a child's imagination that's mister fork,

And lieutenant knife, and miss fork.

And a soy sauce packet.

Oh.

That shouldn't have been in there.

I'm embarrassed.

Don't beat yourself up.

- We come fully equipped with a restroom,

Feeding trough, play bucket,

And room for a plant, in success.

- Who will be watching the children?

- No one. The door locks from the outside.

Escape is impossible.

Prove it.

- What...No. - We're gonna head outside.

Just give it a whirl.

I just wanna see how it works.

- Oh, no, no, no... I... - but I'll tell you this.

If this works out,

I think we're looking real good.

- I promise you, that door locks.

- What's something you did that...

This is the worst!

You are the worst. I hate looking at your face.

I wanna smash it!

Okay, you know what?

I made a mistake.

I committed corporate punishment.

My bad.

It's over, it's done.

But, my punishment is, um,

Worse than hell.

- Michael's been assigned six hours of mandatory counseling

With a trained professional.

I actually have a degree in social work.

I mean, I know a lot of people

Would just ask a few standard questions

And tick off a few boxes,

But I've got a chance to do some good here.

I know what you wanna ask me.

"did your mom ever see you naked?"

- We can do this with more privacy.

So you can molest me?

Oh, okay. I don't think so.

We're gonna leave the blinds open,

So everybody can see

What a big failure you are.

That's the key.

Boycott the steamtown mall!

Everyone, you heard me.

Cancel all your business with the steamtown mall!

- The mall itself, or the stores in the mall?

All of it!

The mall, the stores, the kiosks.

America's one big mall.

Did something happen, Dwight?

- Yeah, something happened. Oh, yeah.

Something happened, Jim.

Well, tell us what it is.

I mean, it might help to get some context

So we can get on board.

You don't wanna know.

- I'd like you to imagine a place

Where you feel very peaceful.

For me, it's the walk from the yogurt shop

To my car, after I drop

My daughter off on Sunday afternoons.

- I... I'm glad Michael's getting help.

He has a lot of issues, and he's stupid.

Look, I'm not gonna tell you

That we have lower prices.

Is price something that is important to you?

Okay, well, let me know if anything changes.

Pam?

I can't do this.

I don't have this sales gene or whatever it is.

Tell me everything's gonna be okay.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Tell me I'm good at sales.

- You're good... you're good at sales.

- The unfair thing about working in sales

Is that your salary is almost all commission.

So if you suck at sales,

You make almost no money.

I guess that's fair.

- Dwight. - What?

- Did you call all my clients at the mall

And cancel all my business

While using the "f" word?

Yes, I did.

And I'm gonna do the same with all of your clients.

No, you will not.

- Oh, yes, I will. That mall is corrupt.

Okay, they're appearancist!

- Okay, Dwight, we can't do that.

So why don't you just tell us what happened?

- Yeah. What happened, Dwight?

Okay?

- You guys know me, you know that I'm...

Not one for fancy things.

But there was this one thing.

It was in a fancy store,

And it caught the corner of my eye

When I took Mose down to the mall

To get his blood pressure at the rite aid.

And I thought, you know,

Maybe I deserve this.

You know, I had a great crop yield this fall.

So what happened?

- I went to the store and I pressed the buzzer,

And they looked right at me, and then they looked away.

And then I pressed the buzzer again,

And they started taking pictures of me

With their mobile phones.

I guess I'm not the kind of guy that's good enough

For precious heirlooms.

You know what, Dwight?

You need to go back there, and you need to

Pretty woman their asses.

We should start our own mall.

Yeah!

Wait, wait, wait.

Actually, that's a really good idea, Kelly.

What did I say?

I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.

Dwight, how about this?

Instead of a boycott,

You and I, together, go down to that store

And we teach those snobs a lesson.

No, you and I...And I.

I'm gonna come with you. - Okay.

- Good. All right.

- Did you assume that I would automatically side

With the rich, snobby shop owner?

How about now?

How about now?

How about now?

How about now?

- Uh, what's your favorite flavor of...

- One hour. - What?

- One hour. We've done one hour.

Let's just speed this up.

Okay, keep it moving.

I wanna do all six hours today.

- Okay, I can't count the hour if you don't talk.

No, no, no...No.

I know my rights, all I had to do

Is sit here for six hours.

Do my time.

- Michael, it's up to me to check off the boxes,

And I can't do that unless I honestly...

- Do you have any idea how angry that is making me?

Tell me.

I think we might be about to maybe really get somewhere.

- Yes, I will. I will talk all right.

Be careful what you wish for, Toby.

Apparently theres a famous Hollywood movie

From the 1980s... beautiful girl.

Pretty woman.

- Um, apparently... - Pretty woman.

- It's one of the best revenge stories of all time,

In which this sex worker, who is the protagonist...

That can't be right.

Andy, how does it... - no, no, no.

- What? - I wanna hear you tell it.

- Okay, um, the sex worker is denied service

At a fancy store because she does not look wealthy.

She later returns, dressed in all the trappings