The Miniature Wife

The door's still locked.

Les: Explore the dollhouse.

Lindy: Les shrunk everything.

Terry.

I didn't write the story. It's my student's work.

Then can you please fix this fucking mess?

We have 28 days,

or the tech, the lab, gone.

Les: You know I'm gonna crack this wide open

and change the world, so join me.

Vivienne: Is that a cat?

I would consider lifting a few of the protocols.

- Les, five minutes. - No.

- Two. - One. Later. Maybe.

Done.

It'll only be a couple more days.

Eight packs of economy-sized toilet paper?

Couple of days, my ass.

Les: Lulu, uh, you're home.

Lulu: Hurricane Lindy is tracking northeast.

Les: No. Lulu: What category is she?

Don't say that.

I'm human popcorn.

How long until you can fix me?

I don't know.

Richie!

Man: And now to deliver

our graduating class' valedictorian address,

Louise Littlejohn.

That's my daughter.

Valedictorian.

It's no big deal.

This place...

is dead to me.

That's my daughter.

Lindy: Richie?

Oh, my God.

Oh, I-I-I can't believe it.

I just... Oh, my gosh.

Wait, you shrunk yourself?

I did.

I have so many questions.

- I have all the answers. - Oh, God.

I'm so relieved and excited.

Me too... ow. What is that?

- Oh, you'll get used to that. - That is loud.

- Shh. That's Les. - That's Les?

Yeah. He's walking around.

- What? - Shh.

- This is nice. - Okay. You need to hide.

- Huh? Where? - Get in the closet.

Oh, well, that says, "Do not enter ever."

Don't worry about it. It's fine.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

And it smells really bad in here.

Hurry, he's coming right outside. Okay.

- Good morning. - Morning.

Coffee and a chat?

Yeah. Sure.

Oh. Right.

Is this really necessary?

I just want you to be safe.

Anything could happen.

Okay. Enough with that already.

Wait.

That was a red-light reaction.

My green-light response is,

I appreciate your concern.

Oh, and my green-light response is,

I know the circumstances are not ideal,

and I am truly, truly sorry about that.

Oh, um, the red lipstick

and toothpaste.

- Uh... - Oh, I... uh,

but I will miniaturize them when I can.

Um, uh, but I did get a travel-size, uh, toothpaste,

so it's a little bit smaller.

And Hilton has these new protocols,

so I will... I will find a workaround.

Thank you. Les: Oh, and about Lulu.

I thought a lot about what you said last night,

and I will speak to her.

About the accident and about me.

Les: About Hurricane Lindy.

It's inappropriate and it's hurtful.

Well, I appreciate that. Thank you.

Les: About you and the accident.

Um, I do think that our current situation

would traumatize her, and sadly,

I could see her blaming you, if not handled properly.

And so, I would like to propose

accessing Dr. Carmichael's marital toolbox,

and employing the UPF tool.

Do you agree?

I agree. One condition.

Oh, I'm open and I'm present.

We stick to the definition

of United Parental Front,

no backdoor deals.

That was once.

I apologized and I have grown.

Fine.

This is kind of nice, isn't it?

Yeah.

Except for the tiny elephant in the room. Yeah.

Fair enough. And I promise I didn't forget

about the laptop. It's just...

New investor, new protocols.

Les: Yeah. - Got it.

No problem.

Bye.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, is he gone?

Wait.

Lindy: And...

- - Okay.

We're clear. - Do not go in there.

There are cameras though.

But we have time,

he takes a while before he checks them.

Let's go.

I should change.

Um, how did you get up here?

I'll show you.

Richie!

Oh, I could cry.

Hidden stairs?

You... you built this?

Well, you know,

I have a degree in engineering, too.

Of course you do.

Oh.

Follow me.

Freedom!

Oh, you're a genius, Richie.

I... well, I actually am.

Yeah. But there is more.

More? But I love stairs.

Huh? What?

- Uh-hmm. - What is this?

So we can get where we're going fast,

I brought Desdemona.

Where is Desi taking us?

All the way.

And I brought everything.

Everything?

Every... thing.

Wait, how did you get past the new protocols?

I don't know. Maybe I'm a badass.

Yeah, maybe you are.

Come on, Desdemona.

Give me a little more.

In my sleep dreams last night, I had an epiphany.

It's the middle of the night and I wake up

to find a gun pointed to my head.

The assailant has one question

and I must answer correctly or he'll pull the trigger.

And the question is,

how do you, me,

overcome 30 seconds to fragmentation?

Isolation. - Isolation?

Isolation, Janet.

- It's Janet. - That's what I said.

Oh, um, yes, Janet.

Now, if we think of the equip... where is Richard?

Um, he's taking a mini signed sabbatical

to care for a loved one.

I don't understand that sentence.

He's not here today, nor will he be here tomorrow.

He's absent for an indeterminate amount of time

until his loved one has recovered.

Can he do that?

According to the protocol manual, yes.

Who's the loved one?

Company policy precludes disclosure of said loved one.

I reject that. I need Richard.

I could be your new Richard.

Temporarily.

Reset.

Where was I, Richard... uh, Janet?

- Isolation. - Yes.

So if we think of the equation as a chain,

we can posit that a single counterproductive link

would be responsible for the regrowth instability.

So, we find that counterproductive link,

we isolate it, then we proceed from there.

In the principle of last action,

let us change epsilon to delta

and, uh, partial T to partial D.

Oh, maybe not H-hat.

Try four pi epsilon naught.

Hilton: Try five pi epsilon naught.

No, no, no, seven.