Fangs (Snakes)

Here.

Can we pet him?

No.

No, he might bite you.

I just caught him a couple hours ago.

You can touch him, but that's all.

- You're doing more than just touching him.

That's different.

He knows that i'm part snake myself.

There.

Now you touch him, but gentle like.

Don't you hurt him now.

Gosh, he's big.

You gonna try and get me some mice next time?

Don't you worry, snakey.

- You don't get me some mice, you know,

my snakes is gonna be suffering from a mouse famine.

Ronnie, get out of there!

You got a snake in that car.

Can't we see him too?

No, you can't!

Why?

- I'll bet I let you touch 100 snakes

since we been doing business together.

Ain't that so?

Yes sir, at least.

Maybe more.

And you ain't never got bit?

And you ain't never been scared very bad

since you first worked up nerve enough

to touch your first rattler.

Have you?

No, no sir.

Nobody ever gets hurt

if he uses his head and listens.

And minds his own business.

I bet it's a coral snake.

It's a cobra.

I can tell by the way that the sack moves.

Now look here.

I don't want no guessing.

- I don't see why we just can't look at him.

I'll tell you why.

It's because he's a very special kind of snake.

And he ain't got nothing in common with little boys.

As a matter of fact, he don't even like little boys.

It's brother joy!

- All right, you boys better scatter.

You don't want him on your backs, too.

Now go on.

Get out of here.

I'll see you next Wednesday.

Scat!

- I see you're still involving children

in your elicit trafficking of god's little creatures.

- Well if them mice and lizards is god's little creatures

what the hell do you call my snakes?

- All serpents do the work of the devil.

Hmm.

Well mine happen to work for the university of Chicago!

And they gotta eat!

Perhaps they do.

But do you have to compound your sin?

Must you tempt the children of our community

with your blood money?

Oh, horse feathers!

Their daddies are over there in that auction barn

right now selling god's big creatures!

Are they taking blood money?

- That's an interesting comparison.

But misleading.

I wonder how many others might be confused on that point.

Could make an illuminating topic for my sermon next Sunday.

Perhaps if the parents understood

the moral ramifications of your unholy Wednesday dealings,

- then... - Now you listen to me,

you sanctimonious son of a bitch.

If you want to hang onto your sundays,

you better pray to god that nothing happens

to my wednesdays!

Brother Palmer.

Brother Holden, how good to see you.

As you recall, you asked me to look you up on Wednesday,

and here I am.

- Darned if you ain't, brother joy.

And it's the right day, too.

I can guarantee you, it ain't Tuesday,

and it ain't Thursday, 'cause snakey bender is here,

and snakey bender is Mr. Wednesday himself.

Did you know that?

Yes, I am very much aware

of when Mr. Bender comes to town.

Hey, snakey!

Hiya, Burt.

How you doing?

- Holden, I'll be going if it's all right with you.

- Oh, it's all right with me, bud.

Look, you be sure and get that water pump

at my house fixed tomorrow.

Don't you worry none.

It'll be running just swell

by the time you get back with your bride.

Well.

Now you know.

Burt Holden's off to the city tomorrow,

and he's bringing back a wife.

Guess there's no real reason to keep that a secret.

- Well, congratulations are certainly in order!

Nothing in this universe of ours

is more beautiful than heaven's own

sublime state of matrimony.

- Oh by god, it's getting deeper out here

than it is in the auction barn!

Who is she?

A local girl?

- Oh no, she's more of a central city.

Her name's Ivy.

To tell the truth, brother joy,

Ivy's kind of funny about religious things.

We're just gonna do it over there in the courthouse.

And then later, as she gets to know you,

I will put her to getting in the church.

Bless your heart.

Hey!

Snakey!

Hey, listen, snakey!

Listen!

I'm listening.

- Have you been to the post office yet?

Nope.

- Well, there might be a new album.

Going?

Always have and always will.

- See you at the house at eight, right?

Right.

Don't you be late now.

- I never have been, and I never will be.

- That snake man and his brood are becoming a problem.

Yeah.

I think he's pretty mad at me right now.

- You provide him with a home on your ranch,

free of charge, I hear.

- Oh, he's lived on our old homestead place for years,

ever since it burned and I decided to move to town.

I also hear he has your ranch

literally crawling with serpents.

Don't do much for real estate values, does it?

And it is unnatural, brother Holden.

Unnatural.

Not for snakey, it ain't.

He's perfectly content, believe me.

As long as him and the snakes have plenty to eat.

- That's just the point, brother Holden.

He's using the children of this community

to help him round up helpless little animals

to throw to that pack of vipers!

Placing them children in extreme moral

and physical danger!

You have to make him stop it!

Whoa now, whoa brother joy.

I don't know if anybody can make snakey bender do anything.

At least talk to him, I,

I'd appreciate it.

Now.

About our own business of the building fund

for the new church.

Oh yes.

- Deacon barker tells me that you intend

to fulfill your entire $1500 pledge today.

Yeah, got my check right here.

- Brother Holden, I've been thinking.

Why don't you just hold onto that check until tonight?

If yours is the first donation at the building fund rally,

that should set a marvelous example

for the rest of the congregation to follow.

- I'm sorry, but this is Wednesday.

I'm always busy on Wednesday nights.

Then I just have to tell them

that yours is the first donation.

It'll still be a marvelous example.

- Snakey bender, if I catch you driving

on the wrong side of the street one more time,

I'm gonna give you a ticket.

I don't care if you do come to town

only one day a week.

Okay, al.

- Is that all you got to say about it, okay al?

- What the hell do you want me to say?

I weren't breaking the law on purpose.

That's the way I been aiming at the post office

for a long time.

Hot damn.

Here comes little old miss peaches and cream.

Now, sis.

You leave her alone.

She's mine.

- She's been yours since last September

and all it got you was a pain in the pants.

From now on, she's ours.

- My goodness, miss Williams, you sure are carrying