Anatomy of the Tide

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Holy shit! Did you see that?!

William Tell can kiss my ass!

Do we look stupid, Kyle?

You were aiming at the other one.

Like hell, Donny. You're just jealous.

Yeah, right. Jealous of what?

This!

You would trade every muscle you got for two of these cells.

Jeez, guys. Chill out.

Shut up, Trent!

This is between Einstein and myself.

Look, you can say all you want,

but I got something you can only dream of.

What?

A promising career in moving furniture?

Balls, okay?! I got balls!

Take that one to the bank.

I guess you're right.

Too easy.

It's time to put you to the test.

Look up at the ceiling.

Holy shit, dude! That thing's the size of a fucking blimp.

You see all those magazines scattered on the floor?

There's a centerfold inside every single one.

Holy crap.

That's right, but we're never going to get our hands on them with that thing looming over us, will we?

Here's your chance, big man.

You ready to take it out?

Donny, I'm allergic.

- Pussy. - Fine, fine!

- No, come... - Alright, I'll do it!

Dude, are you crazy, Kyle?!

- Donny, one sting... - Shut up, Trent!

How do I do this?

Stick it in there and cover it before they can react.

It's a cinch. They do it all the time in kindergarten.

It's called Hot Potato.

Yeah, okay, and they do it in Afghanistan, too.

I'm pretty sure it's called defusing an IED!

Simon says, do it, Kyle.

- Now! - Just give me a second!

Trent!

Oh, my God.

I swear to God, I'd show her what real beefcake is about. Ahh!

You probably wouldn't even know how to get her bra off, Trent.

I actually, I do, because I've been practicing.

What the fuck?

Just take one of my mom's bras and use it on one of my pillows.

What does that even mean?

I plead the Fifth?

What?!

Uh, Trent, that's sick.

Jesus!

Oh, sick!

Either of you numb nuts happen to check the dates on these things?

Uh, 1971?

Miss June probably gave birth to fucking Moses!

She's probably in some assisted living facility!

No. You think, man?

Yeah.

Two words, Trent...

denture cream and absorbent underwear that's soaking up all that dusty shit.

Oh, dude! Come on, man!

Why do you got to put that image in my head?!

Where the hell you think you're going without us?

The ferry.

Guys, it's the first Friday of the summer.

- You know what that means. - Summer girls.

Dude.

Where's Donny?!

Suck.

Where's Donny, man?

Are you saying that we actually beat him here, for once?

I don't see him.

- Do you? - No.

What took you guys so long?

Are you... are you kidding me?

How did you get here so fast?

Amphibious route.

The cliffs?!

That's so stupid, man!

It's not worth your life.

I got a reputation to maintain.

Ah!

Those bastards.

Damn seagulls.

One of these days, I swear to God, I'm going to take a crate of d-CON...

Dude, it won't matter what you do.

The seagulls will always be here.

You boys know where we can find Osprey Point?

Yeah, definitely, man.

I definitely know where that is, so, if you move over, I'll...

You're Curtis Holman, from Avix Pharmaceuticals, right.

And how in tarnation would you know that?

He knows a lot more than you think he does.

Is that so?

I tell you what, tough guy.

If your bright friend here can guess the current stock price of our company,

then maybe I'll let you guys take this out for a hell ride of your own.

Really?

Fifty-one.

Down from 72 in May, before your PE ratio sank like the Titanic.

Curtis, you just got gutted, man.

We're holding up traffic.

- Are you serious? - Another time?

Are, are you kidding? Come on, seriously?

That is bullshit! Get back here, man!

- What a jackass. - You guys,

forget about the damn car!

Who the hell is that?

That's Bridgett Harriman.

Her old man just bought that place up at Tidal Point.

God, she's incredible.

- I think that... - Donny, don't.

Man, she's 21. She's a junior at Yale.

She just blew off the governor's son when he asked her out on a date.

Jesus H. Christ.

What do I do?

Carjack 'em?

Exactly.

Are you serious?

Should we know you, son?

I'm Donny.

It's nice to meet you.

Did he actually just take my advice?

Yeah.

So, did you say one of these houses up here is yours?

Yeah, the big one on the right.

There's a lot of big ones on the right.

The third big one on the right.

Alright.

Here you go.

I didn't catch your name.

Bridgett.

I know this crazy place to swim on the island.

It'll blow your mind.

Not this summer.

Her boyfriend's planning a visit when he ties up things at the Naval Academy.

They're going to be quite busy from then on.

But, hey, maybe you and he can, you know, meet.

What are you, her official spokesman, or something?

Aren't there plenty of local girls around here, Donny, that can hold your interest?

It's a narrow gene pool, sir.

Everyone I date turns out to be my cousin.

Nice to meet you.

See you around.

Bye.

Hey! My mug!

- Voilà. - Thank you.

You know, you could take a hot tub in that thing.

I just might.

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

Both, but not exactly in that order.

The Jenkins star witness has backed out.

Well, the parents don't want to put the kid through it anymore.

Well, then we're clean out of witnesses.

Well, that's where the good news comes in.

I've discovered a lost congregation.

A what?

One of Jenkins' past congregations,

one we didn't know about...

seven years ago, out on an island called Cliffhaven.

Because it's so isolated out there, I think we stand a decent chance of getting more witnesses.

"And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us:

and establish thou the work of our hands upon us;

yes, the work of our hands establish thou it."

Good words to remember.

Thank you for coming.

God be with you.

Another one of God's children.

Where's the father?

Ever since the memorial service,

Maynard doesn't...

Bobby was his oldest.

Perfectly understandable reaction.

I think we should keep our eye on him, instead.

How's he doing?

With no one else to play with, how would I ever know?

You need to be strong for him, Sam.

I'll be here Wednesday,

putting together some Christian mailings.

Sure could use someone to lick a few stamps, Kyle.

Did you hear what I said?

Did you hear what I said?!

Do you need a lift home?

Hey!

Where you been?

I had to make my own supper.

We were at the sandpit.

"We"?

Who's "we"?

Trent.

Trent and I.

Donny?

Hey, would you look at me when I'm talking to you, please?

I don't know where he is, Dad!

Yeah, well, he didn't show up at the dock this morning.

Rusty was bullshit.

Had to go out short-handed.