Sherlock

Mr Magnussen, please state your full name for the record.

Charles Augustus Magnussen.

Mr Magnussen,

how would you describe your influence over the Prime Minister?

The British Prime Minister?

Any of the British Prime Ministers you have known.

I never had the slightest influence over any of them.

Why would I?

I notice you've had seven meetings at Downing Street this year.

Why?

Because I was invited.

Can you recall the subjects under discussion?

Not without being more indiscreet than I believe is appropriate.

Do you think it right that a newspaper proprietor,

a private individual, and in fact a foreign national,

should have such regular access to our Prime Minister?

I don't think it's wrong that a private individual should

accept an invitation.

However, you have my sincere apologies for being foreign.

That's not what I meant. That is not in any way...

Mr Magnussen, can you recall an occasion

when your remarks could have influenced government policy?

Or the Prime Minister's thinking in any way?

No.

Are you sure?

I have an excellent memory.

Your car is waiting outside... See you tomorrow.

May I join you?

I don't think it's appropriate.

It isn't. Mr Magnussen, outside the inquiry, we can have no contact,

no communication at all.

Please don't do that.

In 1982, your husband corresponded with Helen Catherine Driscoll.

That was before I knew him.

The letters were lively, loving...

some would say explicit.

And currently in my possession.

Will you please move your hand?

"I long, my darling, to know the touch of your... body."

I know what was in the letters.

She was 15.

She looked older.

Oh, she looked delicious. We have photographs too.

The ones she sent him.

Yum-yum.

He was unaware of her age.

He met her only once before the letters began.

When he discovered the truth, he stopped immediately.

Those are the facts.

Facts are for history books. I work in news.

Your hand is sweating.

Always, I'm afraid. I have a condition.

It's disgusting.

I'm used to it.

The whole world is wet to my touch.

I will call someone, I will have you removed.

What is that?

Claire de la Lune?

A bit young for you, isn't it?

You want to hit me now? Could you, still?

Little old lady now.

Perhaps you should settle for calling someone.

Well, go on.

No?

Because now there are consequences.

I have the letters and therefore I have you.

This is blackmail.

Of course it isn't blackmail.

This is...

ownership.

You do not own me.

Claire de la Lune.

It never tastes like it smells, does it?

Lady Smallwood's bill is on me. See to it.

Yes, Mr Magnussen.

Oh, God! Oh!

You all right, ma'am?

Fine, yes.

Magnussen!

No-one stands up to him.

No-one dares, no-one even tries.

There isn't a man or woman in England capable of stopping

that disgusting creature...

Ma'am?

Turn the car around. We're going back into town. Turn around.

Where are we going, ma'am?

Baker Street.

'You've seen a lot of injuries, then? Violent deaths?'

'Enough for a lifetime.' 'Want to see some more?'

'Oh, God, yes.'

'The game is on.'

I know it's early. Really, I'm sorry.

Is that Kate? Yeah, it's Kate.

Invite her in?

Er, sorry, yes, do you want to come in, Kate?

Hey!

It's hard.

There you go. It's Isaac. Oh, your husband? Son. Son, yeah.

He's gone missing again. Didn't come home last night.

The usual.

He's the drugs one, yeah?

Er, yeah, nicely put, John.

But is it Sherlock Holmes you want? Because I've not seen him in ages.

About a month. Who is Sherlock Holmes?

See, that does happen.

There's a place they all go to, him and his friends.

They all do whatever they do.

Shoot up, whatever you call it.

Where is he? It's a house, it's a dump. It's practically falling down.

No, the address? Where, exactly?

Seriously? Why not?

She's not going to the police, someone's got to get him.

Why you? I'm being neighbourly. Since when?

Ha, since now. Since this exact minute.

Why are you being so...? What?

I don't know, what's the matter with you?

There is NOTHING the matter with me.

Imagine I said that without shouting. I'm trying.

No, you can't come, you're pregnant.

You can't go, I'm pregnant!

What is that?!

It's a tyre lever. Why? Cos there were loads of smackheads in there

and one of them might need help with a tyre.

If there's any trouble, just go, I'll be fine.

John, John, John, John...

It is a tiny bit sexy.

Yeah, I know.

Hello?

What do you want? Excuse me.

Oh, no, you can't come in here!

I'm looking for a friend. A very specific... friend.

I'm not just browsing.

You've got to go. No-one's allowed here.

Isaac Whitney, you seen him?

I'm asking you if you've seen Isaac Whitney

and now you're showing me a knife.

Is it a clue? Are you doing a mime?

Go. Or I'll cut you.

Oh, not from there. Let me help.

Now, concentrate. Isaac... Whitney?

OK, you asked for it.

Agh! Ohh!

Right. Are you concentrating yet?

You broke my arm!

No, I sprained it.

It feels squishy. Is it supposed to feel squishy?

Feel that! Yeah, it's a sprain.

I'm a doctor, I know how to sprain people.

Now where is Isaac Whitney?

I don't know! Maybe upstairs.

There you go. Wasn't that easy?

No, it was really sore.

Mental, you are!

No, just used to a better class of criminal.

Isaac? Isaac Whitney?

Isaac?

Hello, mate. Sit up for me, sit up.

Dr Watson? Yep.

Where am I?

Arse-end of the universe with the scum of the earth. Look at me.

Have you come for me?

Do you think I know a lot of people here?

Hey, all right?

Oh, hello, John. Didn't expect to see you here.

Come for me too?

Hello, Isaac. Mrs Watson, can I, can I get in, please?

Yes, of course, get in. Where's John? They're having a fight.

Who is?!

For God sakes, John, I'm on a case!

A month. That's all it took.

One! I'm working.

"Sherlock Holmes in a drug den." How's that going to look?!

I'm undercover. No, you're not!

Well, I'm not now!

In, both of you, quickly!

Please, can I come? I think I've got a broken arm.

No, go away. No, let him. Why? Yeah, just get in. It's a sprain.

Anyone else? I mean, are we taking everybody home, are we?

All right, Shezza?

"Shezza"? I WAS undercover!

Seriously, Shezza, though?

We're not going home, we're going to Bart's. I'm calling Molly. Why?

Because Sherlock Holmes needs to pee in a jar.

Well? Is he clean?

Clean?

How dare you throw away the beautiful gifts you were born with!

And how dare you betray the love of your friends!

Say you're sorry.

Sorry your engagement's over. Though I'm fairly grateful for the lack of a ring.

Stop it. Just stop it!

If you were anywhere near this kind of thing again,

you could have called, you could have talked to me.

Please, do relax. This is all for a case.

What kind of case would need you doing this?

I might as well ask you why you've started cycling to work?

No, we're not playing this game.

Quite recently, I'd say, you're very determined about it.

Not interested. I am. Ow!

Oh, sorry, you moved, but it is just a sprain.

Yeah, somebody hit me. Huh?