The Pagemaster

Alan, every ten-year-old is afraid of something.

The kid's afraid of tuna-fish sandwiches.

Mercury levels in the tuna.

Whatever.

Alan, the world is a frightening place to him right now.

I think we could be a little more supportive.

Supportive? I'm the most supportive father on earth,

but I'm running out of supportive things to do.

I signed him up for Little League, he drove everybody crazy

with statistics about how you can develop tumors from being hit in the head with a ball.

Did you know that shin splints can lead to blood clots in the legs?

Claire, he brought in a medical journal. Nobody wanted to play after that.

And now I'm building him a tree house, in a tree he refuses to climb.

You know he hates heights.

I don't know. I just want to be a good father.

But you are a good father.

I'm OK! I'm OK!

Aah! No, I'm not!

Hey, Rich!

Well?

You like it?

Uh, yeah, it's great, Dad.

Hey, how about bringing me up that bag of nails?

No, come on up!

Look. Solid as a rock.

Dad, eight percent of all household accidents involve ladders.

Another three percent involve trees.

We're looking at 11 percent probability here.

Fine. Just put the bag in the bucket, OK?

- Rich. - Huh?

Ow! (yells)

Oh! Oh!

Dad! Do you have feeling in your toes?

Yes, I have feeling in my toes.

Oh, Alan, honey, are you OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Fine. Oh!

Can't argue with statistics, Dad.

Statistics. Here's something you can do:

go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these.

But, Dad...

Son, you can't live your life based on statistics.

You've gotta take some chances.

Now come on, buddy.

You can do this.

This is not good. Definitely not good.

- (boy #1) All right! - (boy #2) Whoa! Good one!

You went further that time.

- All right! Way to go, dude! - All right, line it up.

Hey, guys, look, it's Richie Tyler.

Hey, check out his clothes. Hey, Tyler, where you going, the moon?

Get cable in that thing, Tyler?

Hey, what's the matter, you chicken?

What's the matter, wuss, forgot your training wheels?

Uhh!

Uhh!

No cranial damage.

- Oh! - (roars)

Hello?

Welcome to the library, young man.

Don't tell me. You're here for a special book.

- Mister... - Stop, stop, stop. Allow me to guess.

I have a talent for guessing what people need.

You're in need of...

a fantasy.

Brave knights,

mythical fairies, ferocious dragons.

Look, all I want is...

Adventure!

Of course. You're a boy who loves adventure!

Brimming with wicked demons,

cutthroat pirates...

No, no, that's not it.

Horror!

Ah, horror! Evil demons!

Wretched monsters! Haunted houses!

Graveyards!

Yes.

It's horror for you, boy.

I'm sure of it.

Your library card, please.

I don't have one.

You do now.

Sign here.

Richard Tyler.

Richard Tyler.

Consider this your passport

to the wonderful, quite unpredictable world of books.

But I don't want any books.

That's what I'm trying to tell you. I only came in here 'cause of the storm.

You mean you don't need...

Oh.

I see.

Is there a phone where I can call my parents?

Through there.

Proceed in a northeasterly direction

until you get to the rotunda, and from there head west through the fiction section.

And you'll find it. A public telephone. You can't miss it.

Don't be afraid, boy. if you lose your way,

merely direct yourself back to the exit sign.

Wow!

Jeez!

Whoa! Oh!

Hello?!

Uh-oh.

Huh?

Oh! Uhh!

Uhh!

Help!

Mister, mister, where's the exit?!

Help!

Wha...? (gasps)

Huh?

I'm... I'm a cartoon!

You... are an illustration.

Who... who are you?

I am the Pagemaster,

keeper of the books and guardian of the written word.

You're the guy from up there!

Where are the others?

Why, they're here, of course! And all around.

Maybe you can show me the way out?

Follow me.

L-Is that the way?

Oh, the only way.

Fiction, A to Z! Where all is possible!

Where a boy's imagination can take root and grow to incredible heights!

Where a boy's courage is a wind that moves him to discovery!

And where your journey begins!

Uhh! Whoa!

To find your way home, you must face three tests:

horror, adventure and fantasy.

And remember this: when in doubt,

look to the books!

Aah! How do you stop this thing?!

I am the ghost of Christmas past...

All the pirates shared a grave.

Due to the storm, all lines have been temporarily disconnected.

Please try your call again later.

Oh! Ow!

This is not good. Definitely not good at all.

- (grunts) - (yells)

Where's the son of a sea biscuit knocked me from me crow's nest?

Where's he be?! Where's he be?

So here be the lubber who knocked me on me poop deck, and with no apologies too!

You fiction or nonfiction?

I'm... Richard. Richard Tyler.

- What kind of a book would that be? - Uh, I'm not a book.

Got any proof? (grunts)

See? Here's my name!

A library card!

Oh, begging your pardon, lad. I didn't know you was a customer!

Uh, look, all I wanna do is get outta here.

Of course you do, matey! We all do.

But this is a library, mate. Not everything's as it seems.

Look to the books. Look to the books.

You... you said you knew the way out?

I know these waters like the back of me hook!

Uh... Uh. This way.

I gotta get home.

My parents are probably worried sick about me.

Well, I'm afeared I've been dry-docked in this library far longer than I'd like to remember.

As I sees it, you with your library card are me ticket out of here!

Is it a deal, matey?

Ooh, I'm naked.

Uh, yeah, I guess so.

Ha ha ha ha ha! That's the spirit, lad!

Can we get going now?

Aye aye! Let's scale this mast and get our bearings!

Mast? That's a ladder. I kind of have this thing about heights.

Huh. I'll take care of that. (mutters)

Mysterious Island. Yes.