I Want Your Sex

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Erika.

I'm a slave to this vagina.

Join the fucking club.

I think all this gum chewing is giving me TMJ.

Oh, please.

My jaw's still sore from all the dick I sucked

in Laguna last weekend.

You know, I kind of thought this job was gonna be

a little bit more intellectually stimulating.

Oh, you're serious?

But I, like, seriously need the money,

so I guess beggars can't be choosers.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You don't have a trust fund?

- Huh? - What are you, an orphan?

Oh, shit. Vikktor. Twelve o'clock.

Elliot!

Erika would like to see you in her office.

Me?

Well, you know I hate criticism,

especially when it's accurate.

Art these days is all about more noise, more commotion.

Otherwise, you might as well be zombie-scrolling TikTok.

It's so "my cock's bigger than yours,"

and it's so fucking boring, and I'm bored. I'm bored. Bye.

- Sorry about that. - Oh, no problem.

Elliot.

Yes?

How long have you been working for me now?

- A little over a week, I think. - Wow.

That long already?

And how are you liking it here?

- I love it. - Oh.

- I see you've signed your NDA. - Hmm?

In your application packet.

Yep.

Yes. Uh-huh.

Well, we all think you're doing an excellent job here.

- Oh, great. - But...

There is...

There is something I need to speak with you about.

I wouldn't want you to take this the wrong way,

but the way you've been looking at me

has been making me feel uncomfortable.

What?

Don't pretend you haven't been flirting with me, Elliot,

and it is entirely inappropriate in the workplace.

Oh, my God. I am so sorry. I, um...

I don't even know what I've been doing exactly,

but I promise, whatever it is,

I will... I will stop immediately.

As long as we're really on the same page about that.

I would love to be on the same page, yes.

Okay. Oh, gosh.

Life...

is so fucking short, don't you think?

Do you have a girlfriend?

What? Oh, sorry. I...

Um, aren't you not supposed to ask questions like that?

I'm not.

Have I offended you?

No. No.

I just...

do...

have a girlfriend.

Good. That helps. You wouldn't get weird then.

- Weird? - If we fucked.

So your relationship with your former employer

was initiated by her,

and you say it was primarily sexual in nature?

- Uh-huh. - What's that?

Yes.

- Am I a suspect here? - Depends.

Elliot, look, I realize it's been a long night,

but we really need you to tell us the whole story.

Okay, yeah, I know, I know. Um...

It started a couple months ago when I was fresh out of school.

I was broke and in desperate need of a job.

Sex and sexuality are central to my work

because as an artist, I'm... I'm seeking pure truth.

You know, what lurks beneath the facades people hide behind.

What are you watching?

It's for my interview this afternoon.

What interview?

With her. Erika Tracy.

I'm interviewing to be her assistant

at her studio.

You think her boobs are real?

When you fuck someone, even a one-night stand,

you're physically and emotionally naked.

There's no bullshit, no presentation.

That person knows you better than your mother

or your best friend ever will.

She's so good with words, right?

- She looks kind of evil. - I know.

Apparently, the rumor is that she, like,

fucked Vincent Gallo at The Brown Bunny premiere

in New York when she was 18.

Is it embarrassing that I think that's cool?

Only if you care that that's embarrassing

Everyone has a persona they put on in public,

but during sex, your most intimate,

primal self is revealed.

That's what turns me on creatively.

Okay, remind me what the difference is

between this and porn.

You know, lighting, context.

Right.

So does this mean that you're gonna

pay your share of the rent for a change?

Uh, I mean, I have to get the job first,

but I hope so.

Yeah, me too.

I'm tired of supporting your lazy ass.

Did you eat my fucking yogurt again?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll get you more, I promise.

Activia.

- The green kind. - The green kind. I know.

You got this, man.

Hi, I'm here for my 3:30 interview.

Elliot?

Should I give this to you or sh...

Sh... should I...

Unless you'd rather stand for the entire interview.

No. No. Oh, sorry.

Here you go.

So...

tell me a little bit about yourself.

Well, I'm... My name's Elliot. Um...

I graduated from UCLA with a BFA in new media.

That is all stuff in that résumé, though.

Why do you want to work here?

Oh, well, I love your work.

My early stuff or my recent work?

Uh...

Honestly, both.

Contemporary art is a scam. You know that, right?

Uh, uh-huh.

The real art is convincing people

you're making something meaningful and complex

when it's really just arbitrary masturbation.

I'm currently working on a photographic series

of nude men putting on makeup. You should...

You should pose for me.

Oh.

That's so flattering. No, no, no, no. I couldn't...

- No, it's not really my thing. - Are you ashamed of your body?

Oh, no, I wouldn't say that. I just...

You look bad without clothes on.

No, I look fine without clothes on.

- I don't know about that either. - Oh.

- Is your dick a little.. - No, it's just not my thing.

- I'm fine. - It's okay.

No, I don't know why...

- It's fine if it is. - No, my... It's not my...

No, my dick. Oh, sorry. Sorry, I don't mean to say dick.

- Oh, my God. That's a rude thing to say in an interview.

Calm down. I am fucking with you.

Wow. I would never say anything that inappropriate.

You... Okay, okay.

The, uh, door has been open the entire time,

if you haven't noticed, as per the woke police,

so feel free to run away anytime.

Um...

No. I'm good.

Yeah. Can never be too careful.

It's a good thing you have a sense of humor though,

'cause otherwise this is definitely not

the place for you.

Yeah, so, um, I'm... I'm getting that, yeah.

Okay, you're hired.

- Really? - Yeah.

Holy sh... Wow.

Yeah, this was just a formality.

Oh, my God.

But you just... you need to just loosen up.

You're very tightly wound and a little bit loud.

Uh, yeah, no problem.

- I can 100% do that. - All right.

- Bye-bye. - Is it... Okay.

Um...

Thanks. Thank you. Honestly.

So Erika began grooming you the day that you met her?

Grooming's kind of a loaded word.

I mean, our relationship was 100% consensual,

and, I mean, the attraction was definitely mutual.

Plus, she was only 14 and a half years older

than I was.

Erika was your employer, though.

Yes, yeah, but in a weird way, that dynamic is kind of what...

what made it so hot.

I mean, it was, you know, it was forbidden.

It was against society's rules.

So are you saying you didn't find it suspicious

that out of all the qualified applicants,