Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-Head)

CRISIS LINE

For some kids the crisis line

is the only place they can get help with family issues,

school problems and questions about sex.

Your identities are kept secret,

so they feel ok about speaking intimately.

Beautiful women are waiting to talk to you now!

It could be the most satisfying school experience you'll have.

Any volunteers to work the phones?

Beavis and Butt-Head! What a nice surprise.

Yeah.

Rock!

Hey Butt-Head, doesn't this song have another video?

Yeah. This song is so good they had to do it twice.

Really?

- Mother! - Mother!

Tell your children not to walk my way...

What they... tell them not to... yeah, tell them not to... mean I say...

Mother!

I heard this dude can like, bench press 140.

Whoa. That's pretty good. Maybe he'll be in the 200 Club someday.

Settle down, Danzig.

I wonder what this guy does, like, when, y'know, he's not doing this?

I bet he just scores with chicks, and then, like, just fights alot.

I wonder who would win in a fight between Danzig, and...

- Geraldo? - No.

Danny Bonaduce?

- Bonaduce would kick ass! - Bonaducci! Bonaducci!

- What's he doing? - Yeah.

He was, like, shaking his hips back and forth like a little wussy.

That little dance isn't very cool.

Now remember, the kids who call are in pain, they need a friend,

- someone who'll just listen... - To their private fantasies.

The most important thing they need is compassion without judgment, okay?

I know you fellas will be great. Oh, and guys, try to make a conscious effort

to be more polite, okay? Especially to the women.

Hello?

All the other girls are growing breasts.

Mine aren't growing. Is there something wrong with me?

Hey Beavis, this chick's flat.

Yeah?

Hi... sometimes I wet the bed.

Is that, like, normal?

- What happens when I get married? - Is this, is this...

Hey Stewart!

Stewart. What a wiener!

Stewart wets his bed.

- Stewart wets his bed. - Oh God!

- Hello? - Hello.

Well, my... my boyfriend,

is like, so rude!

I mean, he's like, pressuring me to put-out and all,

but I'm not sure if I'm ready for sex.

I advise you to put out. That would be cool.

Well, but... like, I heard you're supposed to wait?

Oh! Yeah... Until tomorrow.

- What are you talking about? - Yeah.

You... need someone better.

Someone who's, like...

- polite, and stuff. - Yeah, yeah. That's us.

Hi, may I help you?

Yeah.

You should put out to someone you'll meet at school tomorrow, who's polite.

Thank you. Goodbye.

We're gonna score!

Remember Beavis, be polite to every girl we see.

Then we will score with that chick who called last night.

Beavis and Butt-Head,

why you don't share with the class what you learned working on the crisis line?

Okay.

- I mean, excuse me. - Yeah. Thank you.

May I?

Yeah. After you.

Please, you first.

- She's not here. - Oh. That sucks.