Chutes and Splatters

*

- This selfie of us is my favorite.

It definitely says we're best friends.

- Yeah, I think it says I have lettuce in my teeth.

- Not as bad as that turkey scrap on your shirt.

- Cherry, if we wanna win Best of the Besties

for yearbook, our selfies need to show us as besties,

not me as #7 at The Hoagie Hut.

- Hey, guys, I just voted for Best of the Besties.

Aw, thanks.

For Evan and Eleanor.

Hater!

- Oh, no, he's not the only one.

Everyone's voting for them.

- That's because Evan's bestie is an iguana.

And, look, she keeps her food in her mouth.

- All right, yearbook voting ends in two days.

We need to post another selfie right now.

- Hey, looks like the deli is closed. Post it.

Take that, iguana boy!

Uh, oh, look behind us.

The Thunderman portrait!

No one can see that. Delete! Delete! Delete!

Okay, it's gone!

Whew, that was close.

If non-supes saw that, we'd be exposed.

Super President Kickbutt would not be happy.

Alert! Alert!

Incoming transmission from Super President Kickbutt--

and she is not happy.

See ya!

*

* What you see

* Is not what you get

* Livin' our lives with a secret *

* We fit right in

* Bet you never guessed

* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *

* Just like all the rest

* A picture perfect family *

* Is what we try to be

* Look closer, you might see *

* The crazy things we do

* This isn't make believe *

* It's our reality

* Just your average family

* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *

* Livin' a double life *

- I deleted the photos so fast. How did you see it?

We monitor everything, Phoebe.

By the way, don't eat your lunch--Billy licked it.

If any photos showing you as superheroes actually got out,

the consequences for your family would be unspeakable.

I know. I'm so, so sorry,

and I can promise it won't happen again.

- That's what you said after Cherry

wore your super-suit for Halloween.

Further action will need to be taken.

You can't ground me, can you?

- Girl, I could ground your parents if I wanted to.

But you're not the problem. Cherry is.

You are to stay away from her

until the Hero League decides on a course of action.

Your future with us depends on it.

Whoa.

So, if I wanna keep being a superhero,

I have to avoid my best friend?

Can't I avoid something else--

like the cafeteria's clam chowder?

I'm pretty sure those aren't clams.

- I'm sorry, but when it comes to matters of security,

there's no compromising.

President Kickbutt, out.

But...

Phoebe, I need some advice.

Maybe later.

- So, there's this cute boy, Owen.

I'm inviting him over for a play date in two days.

It has to be perfect. What should I do?

I'll tell you what to do.

Don't ever become friends with him or anyone else

because Super President Kickbutt wants you to grow old alone!

- You should just talk about farts.

Boys think they're hysterical.

Oh, farts...

It's like your butt is talking.

He's chatty today.

Okay, uh, what about...

this one?

I trained a bunch of stray cats to pick pockets.

Nice work, Bootsie!

- I'm impressed... - Thank you.

- ...with myself. - Oh.

- Because I've finally figured out

why nothing you do seems evil enough.

It's your baby face.

Well, the ladies don't seem to have a problem with it.

* Wah Wah - Playa!

Silence!

Every time I look at your mug,

I want to pinch those little cheeks,

then rip them off the bone!

- Well...what am I supposed to do--

hide behind some silly mask or something?

Which would be an awesome look!

- Just figure it out, baby face.

Do I really have a baby face, Colosso?

That's our curse, Max--

we're just too adorable.

- Well, you know what would make me look evil--

facial hair.

Ooh, what if I...

altered the nose hairalyzer so it'd give me an evil beard?

- I guess it's better than my plan to shave my fur

and tape it to your face.

Though that would make us closer.

- Phoebe! - Phoe-to-the-be!

- Oh, you know, just gettin' our burger on.

Daddy put on skinny jeans.

- Oh, I see what's going on here.

Super President Kickbutt told you I have to stay away

from my best friend, so you're here to be the new Cherry.

Daddy can't sit down.

- Oh, ho, Chloe, that is not...

true, it...

all right...

You know what? I'll just...I'll stand,

and take a selfie.

Excuse me, could you take a selfie for us, please?

- Later waiter, Christian Slater.

Okay, I'm just embarrassing myself now.

Sweetie, I'm sorry it has to be this way.

How did Cherry take the news?

Well, surprisingly well--

mostly 'cause I didn't tell her yet.

- Phoebe, you're going to have to tell her.

She deserves to know.

I know. I just couldn't.

I avoided her all day.

- You can't do that forever. - Sure, I can.

As long as I've got my...

Randy the Trucker disguise.

Breaker, breaker, ain't no Phoebe here, good buddy.

- You're going to have to tell her the truth.

Your mother's right.

Bye-bye, skinny jeans.

Oh, hello, Evan.

- Phoebe, Mr. and Mrs. Thunderman,

small girl who I don't know.

Where's Cherry? Trouble in Paradise?

- No, she's just-- - Speaking of Paradise,

check out my latest post of Eleanor.

Oh, you have a girlfriend--

who's a reptile.

Well, you two look very happy together.

- It's not too late for you and Cherry to back out.

Nice seeing you again,

Mr. and Mrs. Thunderman, small girl.

- Uh, yearbook competition that Cherry and I

will definitely lose after I talk to her.

Guess Evan and Eleanor will be Best of the Besties again.

- Oh, they're just friends. Okay, good.

I'm getting close, Colosso.

- So, what beard style are you goin' with?

The Lincoln Lover or the Sassy Lumberjack?

- Max, I need your help. - Maybe later.

- So, there's this cute boy, Owen...

He's coming over for a play date today

and I still don't know what to do.

Yeech, girly drama.

What should we play?

Should I serve snacks? Help me!

- Wow, you really sound desperate.

Close the door on your way out.

- You're the worst big brother ever.

Put it on a t-shirt.

Now why is this thing not working?

- What are you two fools starin' at?

- Ah, the Bearded Lady. Excellent choice.

Reverse it!

- The nose hairalyzer doesn't really have a reverse.

I'll just shave it off.

And that should do it.

Just like new.

I thought you shaved it off.

I did. I grew back.

Like the smile on my face.

- I can't have a play date looking like a dirty wizard.

- Don't worry, Nora, I'll fix it before your play date,

but you'll have to skip school.

Just tell Mom and Dad you're sick.

- Well, my throat does feel scratchy--

'cause there's a beard on it!

- It's you and me, Eleanor. We're gonna win this thing.

Ow!

You're right. My fault.

Okay...

all I have to do is tell the truth.

How hard could it be?

I have some bad news.