The Healing

Then he flipped.

He tried to grab me, but I ran away.

But then that idiot chased me down the street

in nothing but his underpants.

I broke the heel on my shoe running away.

- You need to deal with your daddy issues.

Nothing like that's happened to me in years

because I worked it out at my tantric workshop at Goa.

- Is it the one where they heal you with sex?

Will there be a gang bang in the woods?

- That would really help with your daddy issues.

That's what we're gonna be working on, right?

- The navigator is directing to the forest. Should I?

Yes, of course, turn.

This is more a Vedic workshop, so no orgies out here,

but I know some other programs

that might give you what you need.

Unless you act like a bitch, of course.

Fuck.

Are we going in the right direction?

Yes.

- So, tell me what happened.

- It seems pretty obvious to me,

but she won't say.

- Let me guess, "Everything's fine

with me and my husband."

She always gives me the creeps

with all her, "It's all good," bullshit.

- We all have problems. They are life lessons.

- Mm, bullshit, if you life to your friends,

you also lie to yourself.

But what's the life lesson in that?

He kicked her out?

So we are to blame for what they do?

- Well, you're not gonna like my answer, but in a way, yes.

- Listen, you can talk drivel all you want,

but I'm being serious here

and you keep spouting all that self-help crap.

So, I have to pretend to be enlightened?

I'm not a bullshitter, unlike some people,

but I believe you that it'll be fun.

- Hmm. - As long as no one acts

like a wet rag.

- I just couldn't leave her at my place.

She showed up in the middle of the night crying.

You should be a little more sympathetic.

- So, here we are. Which way now?

GPS doesn't show Las Govo.

Las Gavo.

You know what? This is the entry test.

It's a new thing they use for the advanced trainings.

I've seen it before.

I'm gonna check out what's on the stone.

What happened?

Oh, morning. Hmm.

Our enlightened friend brought us to who knows where?

I think she's finally gone nuts.

Look, a dog.

Where?

I don't see it. Lyuba, don't scare me.

Zoya, there's a big dog over there.

- This is the sign. We go that way, huh.

Don't you dare call him back.

Sure as hell not before you tell us what happened.

Nothing.

- Come on, Lyuba. The ass kicked you out, didn't he?

Or worse.

- He didn't kick me out.

I just need a couple days alone.

- Sveta, stop pretending to be the family shrink.

Fate gave Lyuba a chance to come to this workshop with us.

It's destiny.

Oh, we can ask him.

Hello.

Could you please tell us how to get

to the village of Las Gavo?

Sveta, I don't like this.

Sveta, let's go. Sveta, Sveta!

Don't yell at me!

Zoya, you never told us about the zombies.

Okay. I brought a change of clothes for you.

The bag in the back. Sweater and shorts.

Thanks.

I really hope, Zoya, you're not bringing us

to a sectarian retreat.

- You need to work on yourself, Sveta.

Stop resisting the stuff you can't replace in your life

and embrace everything as it is.

- What kind of bullshit is that? Please.

- That's what resistance is. We'll work through it together.

Fuck.

Fuck, uh, fuck!

Just in time for the mosquitoes' dinner.

Where the hell are we?

Zoya, are you sure this is the right place?

There are no signs or anything.

Maybe we should call them.

Uh. - Let's go back.

Go back?

At night? Uh.

Fuck.

On these dirt roads?

- Well, what else can we do?

I don't know.

We can go back to the village

and ask someone if there's a motel nearby.

Yeah, good idea. Zoya?

- Hmm? - Let's go.

- Zoya. - Hmm.

Okay, let's go back, girls.

It's clear, Zoya, you've been scammed.

Hey, there.

- Are you going to Las Gavo? - Yeah, yeah, we are.

Look, ladies, they sent a boat for us.

- Where have you been? Come on, get in.

- Yeah, the transport is the bomb.

- I told you. Everything is taken care of.

You have to be able to trust the world.

So, what are we waiting for?

Fuck.

Don't worry, he's harmless.

Now we can go.

- I can't see anything from here.

There is always fog.

Where are we going?

To the island.

- And what's on this island?

People.

Encouraging.

You, you look so sad.

I was watching you and I decided to come and cheer you up.

Not drinking?

- I'd love to, but I'm driving tonight.

- Pavel Viktorovich, - Huh.

such a wonderful party.

You always find something to surprise your guests.

And I want to drink to your inexhaustible vitality.

You are an example for me.

- And your wife? - My wife is real angel,

and she lets me drink 'cause tonight,

she's the designated driver.

- Come on, it's my birthday. Ha-ha.

Don't be a party pooper. - I, I've got.

Everyone is drinking.

- I, I've got it, I will, - Yeah.

- I will drive myself. Honey, um, what can I bring for you?

- I'll go get one myself. - No, no, no, no.

Sergey, bring this lady champagne.

Okay.

You are a lucky lady,

in love with a diligent, driven husband.

I also love him.

I'm considering hiring him for a federal position.

You could move to Moscow.

Buy a big house...

Oh!

There we are. Go, boy.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

So, this doesn't look like a retreat center.

Maybe we should go back.

- Your fear shows distrust of the world.

And that's exactly what we're here to work on.

- Don't pretend to be calm. Middle of nowhere.

Look at this place. We're in the fucking forest.

Let's go back.

Wait. Wait, we wanna go back.

Please. I'll pay you.

Huh. Great.

The old fart's gone. Uh.

Fuck!

So what do we do now, Zoya?

We'll freeze out here overnight.

It will work out.

Listen, the world will take care of us.

- Are you fucking serious? - Yes.

Fuck, you're sick.

You should have checked into a psych ward

instead of coming all the way out here.

- Is that so, Sveta? - What?

You wanted to come here too.

- I didn't ask to be abandoned on an island

in a forest in the middle of the fucking night.

Maybe that's what you need.

Shut up. What a bitch.

Oh, wolves?

Hey. Hi there.

We're actually here for the retreat.

Sorry we're late. We got a little lost.

That's okay.

We were notified that you were indeed running behind.

- You guys are funny sneaking up like that.

Or maybe it's a part of the initiation,

scaring the new girls?

- Fear changes the sense of reality.

It's like life is getting brighter.

- Give me your bags. - Oh my.

Thank you. - I'm Ignat, by the way.

- Oh, I'm Zoya. These our Sveta and Lyuba.

And you are?

- I'm Tikhon. - Oh, Tikhon.