Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies (Angriff der Lederhosenzombies)

Today is the last day of the ski season,

and next year we're gonna get a new lift

with heating for... for the butt.

Welcome!

Welcome, Mr. Chekov.

Welcome to the future.

Thank you.

Your business partner Knaupp here makes big promises.

Now I will see.

Okay, so we have this problem with the fucking climate change.

Every year it's warmer,

so we can forget about the skiing soon.

You know, like Arabs running out of oil.

Then what do we do?

Make skis with wheels.

Big laugh. Ha ha ha!

But now I will show you the miracle I have created.

A way to make our own snow

with the push of a button.

It's called Solanum Plus 10.

You know, it can make snow even when it's very, very warm.

So tell me, does it make green snow?

Mr. Chekov, step away from the Solanum.

White snow, white snow. It's normal.

Mr. Chekov! - Sapperlot.

Mr. Chekov! Mr. Chekov!

Is he all right?

All right. I will try to make the presentation quick.

- - Franz.

You'll be fine, Josh. Don't be getting all squirrely.

This is not your first time, buddy.

Let's see. It's my first corporate contract,

it's my first time with a real camera crew,

and, oh, yeah, my first time

jumping out of a fucking helicopter.

Okay, I guess this is like your first time then.

Relax, bud. You totally got this.

This is going to be a hell of a day for snowboarding.

That's easy for you to say. You're the Steve Olson.

Josh, I suppose Steve never told you about his first jump,

did he?

Here we go.

Okay, what do you think the Steve Olson

did on his first jump from an helicopter?

A, Take four tries before he dared to jump.

B, Knock back three shots of whiskey to calm his nerves.

Or C, Had to be pushed out by the crew.

Well, I don't know what he did, but I think I'll go with B.

It's actually D, All of the above.

Branka, can you read me?

Hilde. Come in, Hilde.

Copy that.

We're almost at the top now.

In range in about 60 seconds.

We're all set down here.

The light is not going to last, so this is the only shot we got.

- You talked to Steve? - Absolutely.

You explained what I'll do to him if he pulls another stunt

like last time?

In detail. Did you mention our special guest?

I need him to understand how important this is

for both of us.

I know, I know!

Over and out.

Thank you for your patience, Mr. Chekov. Just another moment.

We are almost done, then we get you to the hospital, okay?

Man, it's sketchy down there. Too many rocks.

You'll be okay. Just thread the needle, buddy.

I'm cool.

Watch that first step. It's a doozy.

I can almost see my house from here,

and I live in fucking Copenhagen.

I got this.

Come on, you got this.

No powder at all on this rock.

- Whoo! - Yeah, buddy!

Well, that was pretty fucking awesome!

And now for our prima donna.

All right, then.

Tell your boyfriend it's his turn. Drop in.

By the way, they have a special guest waiting to see you.

I better pull out all the stops then.

I don't think it's like that. I...

Don't worry, I'll give them a hell of a show. Trust me.

Steve! This is work.

We're having turbulence. Hurry up.

What's going on?

We're facing minor turbulence.

You call this minor?

I don't care about minor turbulence.

I thought he's bad ass.

It's way too dangerous now. If he jumps...

What the fuck's wrong?

Come on, pull it together.

Branka, where the hell is Steve?

What? You can't see him?

We lost sight of Steve.

I repeat, we lost sight of Steve.

Shit.

Do we keep rolling?

I don't know. He can't just...

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Fuck... me... sideways.

Whoo-hoo!

That bad ass enough for you?

Steve, have you met our special guest yet?

This is Anna. It's always been her biggest dream

to meet the great Steve Olson.

In flesh, so to say.

Branka?

It's nice to meet you, kid.

I'm really sorry about the whole...

Okay, well, I hope you...

Right.

All right, see you.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Olson, you fucking asshole! What the hell just happened?

And now you will see the future of Alpine tourism.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...

Stupid!

Mr. Chekov.

Mr. Chekov.

Are you okay?

Fucking zipper.

Can I help you?

Hold... that... thought.

I better take this.

Steve!

You destroyed my presentation, you fucking hippie.

Hey, he's in enough trouble as it is.

- Leave him alone. - Hippie?

Can you tell me what the hell happened up there?

Get off my mountain, you fucking clowns,

before I kick you off.

Herr Chekov, Herr Chekov!

- -

It's party time!

You will be... feel better with this.

And maybe now we can talk about the investment.

Maybe later.

I know, I know, Hilde, but...

I told him!

Jesus, what was she, like, ten?

Nine, I think.

Congratulations.

The sponsorship contract is canceled for both of you.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Fuck. Look, maybe we should talk to them.

What do you think I was just doing?

There goes our ride.

What? They can't just leave us here.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, come back!

Look, it's gonna be all right.

I'm gonna fix this. Trust me.

Don't touch me.

I asked you, I begged you to be serious.

Just this one time not to be so...

so you.

I'm done, Steve.

We're done.

I'm going to find a room for the night. Are you coming?

Yeah, sure

Come on, dude, it's not that bad.

We're gonna get a new contract, right?

Well, bitches be cray-cray!

Dude, you coming?

Dude.

Don't dude me!

Dude.

Well, hang loose then.

The hostel is closed.

End of the season, verstehst?

What if we wanna get down to the valley?

The lift is also closed.

This party will be the whole night.

Nobody comes down till the sun comes up.

Well, I guess we'll have to take our boards then.

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

- What? Why? - Look here.

We are here.

The slope ends here.

Here is the village.

Many, many kilometers. Very, very far.

Here, only bus.

But today no more.

You can walk, but you will freeze,

and you'll become dead!

No!

We don't want you to become dead.

You can stay the night here, bei mir, in the tavern.

You're lucky.

Tonight is the end of the season party.

Ja?

After 8:00, it's all half price.

* Make a little party Make a little party *

So there's really no way to get down to the valley?

You heard her. We'll become dead.