Shifting Gears

Oh!

Oh, God, I hope nobody heard that.

It's LA. Even if anyone did, they'd just ignore it.

This is so fun.

I can't believe I'm making out in the car in front of my dad's house.

It's like high school all over again, except less pregnant.

You know, it has been three weeks.

We could do something crazy, like go inside.

Oh, mm-mmm. There's bad people inside.

Hey, nice car.

Oh, God, it's the bad people.

- Hey. - Hello, Father.

Out for your evening constitutional?

Giving your Uber driver a tip?

How do you think I keep my five-star passenger rating?

Kidding. Last time I did that, I lost a star.

Hi, I'm Andy.

- I'm Riley's, uh-- - Friend!

- Mm-hmm. - Friend with benefits,

but not all the benefits, some benefits.

- They're none-of-your-business benefits. - Listen.

You're 35 years old. You don't need to do this.

And you gotta come up with better excuses why you've been going out.

Night banking, night church, night dentist?

No, we went to Night Bank.

Well, it was the Coinstar over at the Albertsons.

Honestly, kind of a weird third date, but I did get to go home with 12 bucks

and a coupon for baked beans.

Sorry about the driveway. I didn't plan to be here long.

At least your friend's up-front about his commitment issues.

All right. Thanks for checking in.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, you...

Just ignore him.

I can't. He's like the T. rex in Jurassic Park .

Okay, yes.

I didn't tell you about my friend, but I have a very good reason.

I didn't want you to know.

You or anyone else, but especially you. You know why.

I don't care.

Uh-oh!

You're a real piece of work, Matt Parker.

Well, guess what? If you don't care, I don't care.

Oh, that's right, I did the ol' switcheroo.

But you know what? It doesn't even matter,

'cause what happens between me and Andy is none of your business.

- Who's Andy? - Oh!

There you go with the questions.

- So typical. - Another commercial.

Well, since you clearly wanna know, I met Andy at the coffee cart.

It's been a month, and we're in a bubble, just the two of us,

and it has been amazing.

We actually have very good chemistry that I wasn't expecting.

He hasn't told his daughter, and I haven't told the kids,

and I definitely wasn't gonna tell you, but you pried it out of me.

Are you talking to me?

Don't say a word.

- Hey, guys. - What are you guys talking about?

I have no idea.

Uh, we were just talking about the football game.

Grandpa thinks the blue team needs to run more, and I think it's nobody's business.

Okay.

We were just coming down to get a snack. Do we have any more gummy worms?

Yeah. N-Not for me though. I think I might be getting a cavity.

Hey, you might need to take me to that night dentist you've been seeing.

Amy, we just redid this beautiful T-Bird not even two years ago.

Why would I do this again?

Because we love money.

I want it all pink and a convertible, like Barbie taking Skipper on a joyride.

Girls trip, bitch.

I'm not gonna do that.

Look, you want a convertible, I'll make you a convertible.

I'm not gonna turn this beautiful T-Bird into a Pepto-Bis-mobile.

That's fine.

- Conversation for another day. - Okay.

- I had another idea. - Okay.

How would you like to design a Morpho Zoom?

I don't... I don't know what a Morpho Zoom is.

Morpho Zooms are awesome. I had some as a kid.

They're like Transformers,

but affordable for kids with single moms who spend all their money on cigarettes.

And they're just different enough from Transformers that we can't be sued.

Man, my nephew loved those things. I got him one last Christmas.

Ooh, I had to do some things I wasn't proud of.

Matt, your designs are incredible, okay?

Draw me a toy.

Are you all right?

Come on. I design cars, not toys.

Despite what you've heard, this is not Santa's workshop.

Matt, why don't you design the car part and I do the toy?

You may not remember me. I am Matt's right-hand man, Gabe.

- Uh-huh. - G-Unit.

You know, actually, Gabe could do both, build the car and the toy.

You know, you'd be in good hands.

Your approval means a lot,

but you know my favorite part of Parker Customs and Restorations.

Parker!

You.

Okay, okay, look, I could work with him. We could do it together.

- Thanks, Matt. - Yeah.

Mama needs to put a down payment on her ticket to space.

I think it's a little late for that.

Hey, boss. Meet Drago-vette, half dragon, half Corvette.

He drinks high octane fuel,

and fire shoots out of his butt.

Or should I say...

I got inspired too. I did the car, and also I did the robot.

Oh.

Hey, Matt. Sorry to interrupt. Andy.

Riley's friend.

- Driveway guy. - Hmm.

'77 Trans Am?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um... W-We're done, right?

Yeah.

Got my eye on you. You want to know why?

Riley doesn't have any friends.

That's a good-looking Trans Am, man.

Aw, thanks. Yeah, I've been working on it for a few years.

I mean, obviously I can't do what you do.

Ooh. Sucking up, that always works.

Um, Trans Am was my old man's actually. He was a car guy.

Well, more of a Smokey and the Bandit guy.

Really just a mustache guy.

Well, it's a good thing he wasn't an Italian Job guy.

Any guy who dates my daughter and drives a Mini Cooper,

will end up in the trunk of a real car.

I mean, what is an Italian job anyway, right?

A nap for lunch followed by a seven-hour dinner?

Yeah.

Anyway, I'm just here to have lunch with Riley.

I just wanted to stop in and properly introduce myself.

I know last night was a little awkward.

- Ah, I appreciate that. - Yeah.

Oh, and since you like sucking up, I do have, for you, some dry rub.

Now, I made this myself. Think of it as a guy-to-guy mixtape.

Cool. Well, thank you for that.

Last time I got a gift from one of her boyfriends,

it was a surprise grandchild.

Well, you know what? I'll try this. Thanks.

Oh, hey, what's happening? Uh...

Why are you talking to my friend, Andy?

He gave me a gift.

Oh, a gift?

If you want to give me a gift, we should go.

Okay, sure. Yeah. You know what? We should all get dinner sometime.

- Yeah. - Or not.

Well, actually, I'm having some people over Sunday for the NFC championship game.

You're welcome to join. I'm grilling.

That sounds great. I'm in.

What? Sunday? Shouldn't we be resting as the Lord wanted us to?

- Hmm. - Gabe, who is that?

Says he's Riley's friend.

Nah, they more than friends.

You see how hot he is?

I'm secure enough to admit when I see a beautiful man.

He's not that good-looking.

You jealous?

'Cause you should be.

Then the car morphs into a warrior robot.

The kids love it, we make a lot of money, and I don't have to draw another robot.

- Okay. Amazing, powerful, gorgeous. - Thank you.

All right.

But where's the fun?

You got meds in there somewhere?

I need something that's gonna make a bunch of Karens gouge each other's eyes out

to get the last one at Christmas.

We can make the robot look like Glenn Powell.

Look, this is a fun experiment,

but like my therapist said about taking me on as a client...

...this was a mistake.

- Wait, wait, we got another idea. - Okay.

I'm doing what you taught me to do, fight for a good idea.

Unless it's ramen for lunch. I know that's never happening.

- Behold. - Oh, no, no.

Drago-vette!

- Are you kidding me? - Well, it was a first thought he had--

- It's inspired! - Yeah.

I mean, compelling. And it poops fire?

Hahtzee!

I know what you're thinking, but it is not Yahtzee.

We actually use six dice.

Trust me, that's not what I was thinking.

Okay.

Carter, Georgia, let's go. You're gonna be late.

For what? You're making us go to the mall?

I thought you said we weren't buying anything new in January.

Yeah, well, I also said I wasn't drinking and was gonna go to the gym, okay?

February is the new January.

Here, go to Claire's, buy the whole store.

Carter, let's go.

Sorry, it takes a minute to blow-dry this mane.

Let's go, but no rolling down the windows. You'll ruin this do. All right?

Fine, but no farting.