Patch Me If You Can

*

Ready...

Set...

Stretch!

- Aw, are you guys playing Tug 'o Link again?

- The winner gets to sit next to Link at the movies.

- The loser has to sit next to you, Phoebe.

Sorry, you're a popcorn hog.

Ow! I win!

How about we play "Hurry Up"?

I love how much fun you have with my siblings.

Well, what can I say?

I've got "party" written all over me.

Uh, you actually do.

- Well, that's a reminder to pick up the birthday cake--

you know, for Harris' birthday party on Saturday.

- I feel so bad--I hardly even know your brother

and my brother loves you.

Ugh! Link's here again?

My other brother.

- But, since I have your attention,

fill your eyeballs with the centerpiece

of my new villain uniform.

Behold, the Cloak of--whoa!

- The Cloak of Whoa. I like it.

- Don't you have your own home?

- Dark Mayhem wants to see your evil villain uniform,

not your Friar Tuck costume.

Let me guess.

You wanna help me design my new villain uniform?

I thought you'd never ask.

How do you feel about rhinestones?

- What should I get your brother for his birthday?

I don't even know what the little guy's into.

Well, he is pretty quiet.

So, he's into silent movies, silent auctions,

well, being silent.

Oh, and one normal thing--pirates,

which is why his party is at a pirate-themed laser tag place.

Oh, you mean las-arrrr-tag.

I may or may not have a punch card.

- Oh, look what I got for the kids to wear.

Right? - Whoa.

That patch makes you look just like your dad

when he was still Evil Man.

- Old and creepy? I'm taking this off.

Oh, wait, here's an idea.

Why don't I hang out with Harris on Saturday

while you guys are setting up the surprise party?

It'll be the perfect chance for us to bond.

- Really? That'd be a big help, actually.

- I said, hurry up. I'll miss the previews.

Evil Man's eyepatch

would be perfect for your villain uniform.

It tapped into his brain

and amplified his evil instincts.

I know.

Without an eyepatch, Evil Man was just Cranky Man.

Too bad he destroyed it.

You could build your own,

if you could find its power source--evilinium.

But that stuff's harder to find than a talking lady bunny.

- If it's out there, we'll find it.

The lady bunny?

No, the evilinium.

You'll never find love.

Lady bunny...

*

* What you see

* Is not what you get

* Livin' our lives with a secret *

* We fit right in

* Bet you never guessed

* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *

* Just like all the rest

* A picture perfect family *

* Is what we try to be

* Look closer, you might see *

* The crazy things we do

* This isn't make believe *

* It's our reality

* Just your average family

* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *

* Livin' a double life *

- Hey, Phoebs, thanks again for watching Harris

while I set up for his party and, listen,

don't be bummed if you don't get him out of his shell.

- Please, I'm great with shells.

I once got a turtle outta his.

It bit me right after, but still...

- Remember, the party's tonight at 6:00.

And, shhh, it's a surprise. - Okay.

- Come on, Harris. Don't be shy.

Hey, there, Harris.

- Link, why is your girlfriend trying to punch me?

- She's not trying to punch you.

You're not trying to punch him, are you?

- What? No, it's a... it's a fist bump.

Okay, don't worry.

This is how things started with the turtle, too.

- You tried to fist bump a turtle?

No wonder it bit you.

Don't worry, okay? I've got this.

- Well, sure you do, but just in case,

here's a list of safe hand gestures.

Bye, buddy. - No way, babe. Why would--

Hi!

- - Dad, get out! Get out!

It's okay, Harris. The loud man's gone.

So, um...

Oh, Link tells me you have fire powers.

I do, too. Check it out.

Your turn.

- - No, really, go.

- That's it. That's my power.

Fire pinky.

That is super impressive!

- My mom calls me her "Widdle Night Wight."

Uh, anyway...

Oh, I hear you like pirates and every pirate needs a parrot.

So I pulled some strings and got us...

a raven!

They were out of parrots.

- Aren't ravens kinda dangerous?

Dangerous?

Harris, I am the Protector of Hiddenville.

I am pretty sure I can handle some silly bird.

- -

Oh! Oh!

And we're hugging already.

Yay.

- How's my replica of Evil Man's eyepatch comin'?

- Great! Just need to add a few more rhinestones.

Don't we sparkle, Max?

In the worst way.

I need these things off my patch.

Now I located the last of the evilinium.

But it's heavily guarded by native tribes.

- So, you just need to find someone

dumb enough to go get it.

Got it!

Easy. Just like you said.

I didn't even need the shield you gave me.

- All right, the evilinium needs a few hours

to charge the patch, but once it's fully powered,

it'll squash all the good instincts

Mom and Dad keep sayin' are in here somewhere.

And now we wait. Simple.

Well, since we have time,

let's go shopping for your villain uniform.

But, first, watch me sparkle!

Yeah!

Hey, sweetie.

Why are the sandwiches Mom packed for your picnic on fire?

The picnic got boring--

which gave me time to work on my trick shot.

Check this one out.

Off the window, off the garbage can,

melting the juice box.

- Nora Thunderman, while impressive,

shooting lasers across the yard is very dangerous.

That's what I said!

- You have to be more careful using your powers, Nora.

Your trick shots have cost me a stack of sandwiches,

the flat screen TV, and my lucky sweatpants.

- Yes, it was definitely Nora

who destroyed your lucky sweat pants.

Now, go, clean up this mess.

Fine. I will.

After I pull off the mother of all trick shots.

You're gonna wanna come outta

your garbage 'hood for this, Billy.

Off Wong's house, off that bird feeder,

off the power lines,

nothin' but watermelon.

Hi, guys.

I almost lasered Chloe.

You need a time out, lady.

- The whole, uh, bird thing was quite an adventure, huh?

Bet you're gonna be "raven" about it later.

Get it? - Yeah, I get it.

Can I go home?

- Home?

We're having so much fun.

- Bird!

- Hey, what's that? - Oh, don't go down there.

That's Max's-- - Whoa!

It's just like a secret bunker

from one of my pirate books.

- Uh, well, yeah, I was gonna say...

don't go down there 'cause that's Max's

sister's secret bunker.

But guess what? I'm Max's sister.

Let's check it out.

- Whoa! It's like a giant treasure chest.

Is this all yours?

- Yep, it's definitely all mine--Phoebe's.

- All right, let's set sail for Harris' P-arrrr-ty!

You know, my pirate impression

really deserves a gold st-arrrr!