Black Peter (Černý Petr)

FILM STUDIO BARRANDOV presents

BLACK PETER

STORY & SCREENPLAY

STARRING

FEATURING

MUSIC

PLAYED BY SONGS SUNG BY

PRODUCTION DESIGNER DESIGN ASSISTANT

COSTUME DESIGNER / MAKE UP ARTIST / SOUND

PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANT EDITOR

LIGHTING STILLS PHOTOGRAPHER

PRODUCTION MANAGERS

SCRIPT

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

SOUND

EDITOR

LINE PRODUCER

DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY

DIRECTED BY

PRODUCED BY

I had beetroot marmalade for breakfast and now my teeth are stained red.

Oh, I heard that on the radio this morning. It's such a nice song.

Why can't they play the radio when we're at work?

What have I done with my comb?

Help me fix my apron.

Hey boss, don't come in here!

Bodies like these I've seen so many...

- Not like the one I've got! - He's used to his Medunka!

Yeah, she has such a big bottom!

Never mind, he has a big belly!

That's the only thing I've got left!

Listen: today we have a new trainee coming.

Talk decently in front of him. You're all dreadful gossips,

the lot of you. Joining your ranks is no blessing!

What do you take us for?

- Girls, do we know this new trainee? - Nope. -We don't.

What's he look like?

Got to be young. Can't be more than sixteen if he's a trainee.

That ain't no good for us.

You'll catch on, Peter! Don't you worry, lad!

This is self-service,

and I'm going to tell you like it is!

We have complete faith in our customers,

and we trust them 100 per cent.

However, there're some among them who, every now and then... steal, eh?

Do you understand?

Your job will be to watch over those customers.

Keep your eyes peeled.

But the customer should never know you're watching them, understand?

They mustn't know you're watching them.

It isn't a bad thing or some sort of mistrust, you know?

You're simply preventing them from shoplifting.

We're educating customers in honesty.

Look here, Peter, I'm going teach you from my own experience.

So long as I was on guard in my overalls, I never caught nobody.

The customer knows you're part of the collective,

and will be watchful.

But without your overalls, I'm sure you'll be able to catch several thieves!

- Can I keep them in here? - Sure thing, Peter. In there.

Understand?

- Good. - Yes.

Peter, I told you, not like this! This won't do!

You're following folks like a cop!

You're peering into their bags!

You know the last thing a thief will do is put stolen stuff in their bag!

Quietly, like I told you. Unobtrusively.

- You understand? -Yeah. - Go then!

Sorry, I think that man over there has stolen something.

- Which one? - He's outside already.

- Well get running after him. Quick! - Well, I don't know it for sure...

Never mind that, off you go!

Where've you been?

Where've you been?

- At work. - At work, eh?

- For real, at work! - Where?

For real, at work!

- Do you know the manager? - Obviously!

What was he doing here then? Looking for you?

He doesn't know you then.

Sure he knows me. Something happened to me, y'know?

Well, what?

I thought a guy had stolen something.

So I went walking after him.

You were playing the detective, eh?

You thought he'd stolen something. Well, what did you do then?

I kept walking after him.

That was all?

- Yeah. - Well, what was the point of that?

You identified him? You saw what he'd stolen?

No, I didn't.

Well, I dunno, how would you go about it?

Well, here's how I'd go about it.

In your shoes, I'd call on somebody. I'd stop him and confront him!

But following him like that without solving anything, I dunno...

I thought he'd give himself away.

How so? Why didn't you intervene?

- I couldn't. - What do you mean, couldn't?

In your shoes, I'd call a policeman or an older gentleman,

and I'd get him to identify himself.

- You thought he'd stolen something. - I wasn't sure.

So you shouldn't have followed him and stayed at work instead!

I couldn't do that either.

I told the women at the shop and they said to follow him.

- So I went after him. - Why didn't you tell the manager?

- Why did you speak to the women? - The shop assistants, you know?

I see! Well, and the result was...?

Nothing. Well, I just spent the day following the man.

So you weren't at work!

- I was! - Well, just for a moment then.

What did you do afterwards?

Talk to me! Respond!

Then I came home.

Oh, so you came home? A bit early, no?

You should have gone back to work!

Why did you come home? What were you thinking?

You think you can just skip out of work and go home? How come?

How come, you came home?

There was lots of stuff I didn't like in my life, but I had to buckle up.

Oftentimes against my will.

That's what turned me into a man.

Just that!

Dad, stop it, Peter's just a child!

- I ain't no child! - Damn right you're no child!

You should've realised that a long time ago already!

- Give it here, I'll warm it up for you! - Leave it.

- It's cold already. - No, it's warm still.

Shut up! Warm it up for him!

Look around the shops these days! What do you see?

Only women!

Men? Very few. Hardly any.

And ultimately, what about women?

She gets married,

the workplace is empty.

And so who's it up to?

Who's going to save the day?

Men!

Men!

One or two years, you can endure, right?

You could become manager!

Do you know what a manager is? They've got it made these days!

And it's all in your hands. You can be a manager!

God forbid that there should ever be another war again.

You know what they say?

"Whoever's close to food is far from the grave!"

But don't think about that.

Don't give it a second thought.

Listen up!

Monday you'll go to work.

You'll apologise, and it'll all be okay. Understood?

Understood?

- What if this place caught fire! - You'd extinguish it, right?

No, not that. There's enough firemen around here.

Don't look at me!

I'd be saving people, you know? From a fire at night...

- Bz night? - Yeah, by night!

We'd be taking women out of their beds!

- Oh yeah, yeah! - Oh yeah!

Try picturing, say, Pavla Vrbova licked by the flames.

Lucky flames.

Hey, look here...

Now I look a bit deflated, don't I? I look a bit deflated, see?

I held them up like this,

and waited for what the woman had to say,

but instead she's got tits like this.

- What are Pavla Vrbova's tits like? - Dunno.

Méra knows, right?

I've no idea why she's even dating him!

He's such a ponce, and such a bad influence, y'know?

I met her just the other day, with him...

they're walking past me.

And I'm standing there watching her, and she doesn't even look at me.

- Like I'm not even there! - But you are, you are!

Well sure I am, I know that!

- You're a virgin! - Yeah, yeah...

- Higher! - What're you laughing at?

Not everyone can sing.

Do you know it? It's a parody of 'Othello'.

It's an 'Othello' parody.

He leaves and waits, she kinda agrees with him and tells him:

My dear Othello, I love you dearly,

my dear Othello, I love thee...

I can't hear you! Louder!

My dear Othello, I love thee!

Then Cassie enters the scene...

- What, who? - Cassio!

- Haven't you seen it? - No, have you?

Sure. Now listen, he tells her:

Good evening, lovely lady, I beg your pardon for disturbing you,

Othello is summoned to court, I'm afraid there's to be a trial.

Othello is to appear before the court

without further ado.

Two guards are quarrelling there over their little gatehouse.

So he leaves and... no! So Cassio stays with her and says:

Wait, what does he say? I can't remember it at all!

- He says... - Hey, listen. -What?

- That's not a good song. - Wait a sec! How does it go?

Peter?

Is Peter around?

He isn't here?

Peter?