Fallout

The audience, they wanna see that even a good man as yourself

-can be driven too far. -But it's not really my thing.

Why can't you move?

Someone stole my fusion core.

What are you suggesting?

We travel together, get the head, and take it to the Brotherhood.

In exchange, you'll lend me the services of your knights to save my father.

I've never done an advertisement before in my life.

I wonder if anyone survived.

I did.

Lucy.

- -

Where are we?

The best place in the world.

We're in a Vault.

Oh.

Hello, there.

Yep, it's me. Cooper Howard, star of stage and screen.

But I'm not here today to talk to you about my latest picture.

No, today, I'm here to show you a vast and wonderful place.

Not made by God Almighty, but the working man,

a veritable Camelot of the nuclear age.

Now, how 'bout we turn on some lights?

There, that's better.

Now I'm speaking to you from deep inside the fully livable model 96 JQ 1164.

And what a beaut she is.

And what a song she sings.

Now that right there is Vault 4's three-foot-thick lead casing.

Strong enough to keep out the rads and the Reds.

Each one of these underground burbs comes with all the modern amenities

you've come to expect from our rip-roaring republic.

Now, this corridor here is Sycamore Street,

where you'll wave howdy to any one of your 200 neighbors,

on your way home for an enchanted evening with your loved ones.

Meet the Hawthornes.

Now, this isn't just your average all-American family.

No, Lloyd and Cassandra here are both scientists,

specializing in the effects of radiation on human DNA.

That's right,

and we'll be living and working right here in Vault 4

leading a community governed entirely by scientists.

Wait a second. Did you say living down here?

Well, there hasn't been a nuclear incident, has there?

No, not yet.

But our family and a group of 80 volunteers

will be conducting a five-year trial of Vault 4

to demonstrate to the world that no matter what comes our way,

America will be ready.

Five years?

Well, I may play a hero in the movies,

but you all are heroes in real life.

And now you can be a hero too

by purchasing a residence in a Vault-Tec vault today.

Because if the worst should happen tomorrow,

the world is gonna need Americans just like you

to build a better day after.

And cut.

That was a great take. Are you happy?

Fellas, are you happy?

-All right. Gary, I'm wrapped, right? -Yes, Sir.

-Are you okay? -How'd we do?

-We were so nervous. -You did great.

It was really lovely to meet ya. Thanks for coming out.

Thank you so much. Good to meet you.

Mr. Howard, great work today.

Ah, thanks. Thanks, man.

Bud Askins. I oversee the Southern California operations.

I came over to Vault-Tec in Q3 after a 10-year stint in West-Tek.

West-Tek?

It's a defense contractor.

Oh, I'm very familiar with you guys. You designed the T-45 power armor.

The first of its kind.

You know, I oversaw the roll out.

You know, the design flaws were ridiculous, but they sure looked great.

I wore the T-45 when we almost lost the great state of Alaska to the Reds.

Those design flaws of yours cost a lot of good men and women their lives.

Yeah. Product management was never my back.

I'm more focused on HR, R&D now.

You know, overseeing work flow optimization,

management timelines. I'm all about scale.

Most people think scale means increasing global market share.

That's thinking in three dimensions, I'm talking about four.

Because what is the ultimate weapon to destroy your competition?

It's not outselling them. It's not outsmartin' them.

It's time.

Time is the ultimate weapon.

-Uh-huh. -

-Yeah. - It sounds complicated,

but the future of all humanity comes down to one word.

Yeah? What's that?

Management.

Well, I'm awful happy for you, Buck.

Bud. Bud Askins.

-Oh! -Hey.

-I'm at work. -How 'bout we clock out?

Nothin' against these colleagues of yours,

but what do you say you and me

knock back a couple of pina coladas by the pool?

Listen to the Hi-Fi?

There is a wrap party.

-What a... A wrap party? -Yes.

-For this? -Yes.

All right. We go for a couple of hours. We shake a few hands...

It's at our house.

The things I'm willing to do for you

never cease to amaze me.

[jaunty instrumental music continues playing muffled in background]

Roosevelt, I'm sorry you can't come, buddy.

I'm heading into enemy territory.

You be a good dog. Go to bed.

[jaunty instrumental music continues playing]

A Man and His Dog, that movie's great.

Mm.

Yeah, I love that one too. It was my real dog.

Beautiful home, Mr. Howard.

Thank you.

Did Cooper Howard just walk by?

He was so good in that movie.

Oh, it's him.

Mr. Howard. Hello.

Negotiations in Anchorage are having a serious impact in the presales.

We'll have to circle up to DC about that.

Ideally before our quarterly projection release.

Mr. Howard?

Mr. Howard?

Bud Askins.

Right.

Would you mind, you know, doin' the butler voice, from the show?

All right. Well, I only do it for close friends and beautiful women

but you two are already halfway there.

"I, Bartholomew Codsworth, am ever-ready to serve."

Perhaps when you finish your shift,

we could head up and party in the hot tub. What do you think of that?

Oh, no, no.

-No? -No, thank you.

Oh.

All right.

Excuse me. Do you mind if...

Shit, Sebas.

You might be the only one of my invites who actually showed up.

- -Yeah, not our usual scene.

-I'll give you that. -No, it is not.

You think our Hollywood actor friends, they wanna be seen

celebrating with the pitch man for the end of the world.

Oh, you don't know the half of it.

You hear I lost a movie over these ads?

Yeah, showed up to set.

The actors wouldn't come out of their trailers.

Bonnie Lewis said it was on moral grounds.

Bonnie Lewis?

She's done more ads than a fucking billboard.

-Yeah. -Fucking Hollywood Reds.

I'm telling you, radicalism is sweeping through Hollywood

like a bad case of the clap.

It even got your friend, Charlie Whiteknife.

Are you kidding me? Charlie?

-Mm. -1 served with that guy.

They have meetings and everything. It's a shit show.

But you, my friend, you know which way the wind is blowing.

And it's that, a world run by people

who wear pocket protectors to a pool party.

Yeah, you might be right about that.

I mean, I've dipped my bits in the same gravy train.

Sold my vocal rights to that spinning robot

they sell to housewives and perverts.

Guess how much they paid me for that.

Ten million?

No, I got 186, pre-tax.

Maybe you could ask for more?

-Well, I did ask for more. -And what did they say?

My agent got 'em to throw in one of those robots.

- -What the fuck were they thinking?

Every time I walk into my own house,

my own voice saying, "Hello, sir. Do you want to sit down?"

It's fucking awful.

I thought the studio owned that character.

They did and then Rob-Co bought the studio.

-Hmm. -Listen to me.

Hollywood is the past. Forget Hollywood.

The future, my friend, is products.

You're a product. I'm a product.

The end of the world is a product.

And for those of us who can successfully embrace that,

I'd say the future is golden.

To the future.

To the future.

I, Barth-Bartholomew Codsworth, am ever-ready to serve.

Why, hello there, boys.

Now, y'all here for the ice cream social,

I'm afraid I got some bad news for ya. But...

Let's get to... to it... to... Shall we? Shall we?

Waiting.

Take his fusion core.

There's no fudge here.

Only a General Atomics Inter...

Destroying a legitimate business.

That's illegal round these parts.

Says who?

The Govermint.