Scrubs

Moving is rated one of the most stressful life experiences,

right along with divorce.

But I was crushing both.

I found a new place closer to the hospital,

and Elliot and I were finally getting along.

...and I think you should proceed with the radio embolization.

Yeah, and I agree with Dr. Reid. She's the best.

Oh, I am.

We are crushing it at being divorced.

I think we're in the honeymoon phase of our failed marriage.

It's amazing that we can agree on a treatment plan for a guy's liver mass.

When we were married, we could not order a pizza together.

Yeah, and now you can scarf down

as much disgusting ham and hot fruit pizza as you want.

Just ordered Hawaiian on the weekend. What'd you do?

Well, since I have Ollie next weekend, I finally put his bed together.

I've actually become quite handy.

Damn it!

I think it was a slight concussion.

I blacked out for a bit, but when I finally came to,

the whole thing had been put together.

- -It's okay.

-Not like I had anything better to do. -I get it.

When Ollie's with you, I feel a bit lonely too.

Throw in a bottle of Chardonnay, and I am just holding the dog and crying.

You have a dog now?

-It's the neighbors'. -Ah.

If you wanna do something fun instead of tragic,

I'm going to a rave this Friday with my friends.

Maybe I should try something like that. I'm in.

Okay. We'll pick you up at midnight.

Midnight at night? I'm out.

Hey. Hey. Are you okay, Amara?

Because I got a text that said, "Run over here right damn now."

I told Dashana this wasn't an emergency and we shouldn't say that,

so she took my phone and texted you with it.

-Snitches get stitches. -They do?

These medical interns keep dumping patients on us

like the surgical department is their day care.

Do we look like The Baby-Sitters Club to you?

Kinda, yeah. Look, guys,

surgical and medical have always had beef,

so figure that out on your own.

-Okay. Yeah, but I... -But...

No. No. We're not gonna do that.

I have patients texting me,

and I have three daughters texting me about money and rides to soccer,

-and more money. -

Four daughters texting me.

And I got a wife who's picked up extra shifts

and says I need to help out more at home.

What I don't need right now is two more females

tricking me into running my ass off and getting more steps than I need.

Got me all sweaty-domed.

I told you we shouldn't say that.

Hey, Bubba. You know how I love and respect all women, right?

Are there any women up in here?

There's a pretty gal upstairs,

but I haven't had the courage to say hello yet.

Well, don't. I'm so sick of the women in my life, J.D.

How come each and every one of them is trying to get me to do something?

Don't look at me. I was team vasectomy.

The worst part about it is, because Carla's working so much,

I can't even ask for a little somethin' somethin' in return,

-if you know what I mean. -Sex?

Yeah, J.D. Sex. Well done.

She used to get worked up by Bridgerton,

but the new season doesn't come out for another year.

Spring 2027.

I'm just so worn out.

Man, I've missed this.

You and me just getting real about life.

Let's turn this place into our feelings dojo.

-Pfft. -I'm gonna order a love seat, candles,

and two cozy weighted blankets on Amazon.

There's so many choices.

Are we thinking faux fur or sherpa fleece?

Bro, I'm thinking I live with a bunch of women. Let's get a poker table.

Turk, you beautiful, bald bastard. That's it.

We'll do a poker night, like in the old days.

That's what I'm saying!

This is the start of a whole new chapter for me.

No more sad sack.

Full-on fun sack.

-That's what I'm talking about. -Right?

We're gonna turn this place into a bro-jo.

A bro-jo.

- Whoo-hoo! -

I'm never going home.

-It gets even better. -It does?

-I got a roommate. -What?

- -Chewie?

- -Chewie, no.

-You're gonna popcorn us. -

- -Oh.

Hi. I'm your new neighbor, J.D.

I was just telling Turk about you.

What you watching?

I gotta say, Sacred Heart seems like a completely different place.

For example, some employees aren't even human.

Morning, little supply bot.

The janitor likes me.

Morning, Chief.

Morning. You're in for poker tonight, right?

Oh, you bet.

I'm skipping my daughter's play to be there.

-Oh, don't do that. -Oh, it's fine.

She's 25, and it's Waiting for Godot.

Ugh. More like "waiting to go home," am I right?

You get me.

We get each other.

- - Ah.

I should probably learn his name.

As for the interns, instead of getting pushed into burnout,

they're now pushed into mental health.

"Hey, Sibby, why a wellness room?"

"Oh! I'm so happy you asked."

Nobody asked.

Research shows, drumroll,

that activities such as meditation and block-building

help reduce stress...

She wants us to play with blocks?

Apparently.

The room is now open for organized relaxation.

- -Can we go now?

Yeah, get the hell out.

But some things never change.

-Turk and I were hanging like old times. -Hey, buddy.

-Two chiefs. -Two chiefs.

We're all set, bro.

Once I feed the kids, I'ma take them to practice

and then I'ma drop them off at sleepovers.

Carla has a shift at urgent care,

but that gives me a four-hour window for our poker party.

-Come on! -

Did someone say poker? I'm in.

Oh, sorry, Hooch, I actually don't have a seat for you.

-Oh, I wasn't asking. - Oh.

I'll bring the bean dip.

Hooch is legitimately crazy.

Out of his damn mind.

-Hey! -Ooh.

Did you really just dump another patient on us?

Okay, first of all, he spiked a fever. Okay?

That means you med-heads have to admit him.

Just because you talk with your hands doesn't make it okay.

-First of all, bring your hands down. -Okay.

And the age-old battle between surgical and medical rages on.

-Check out our kids. - Having their first fight.

-Should we fire up our parental voices? -Yep.

Okay, kids, settle down. That's enough.

Don't make us turn this whole hospital around.

He'll do it. Get over here.

Get over here, right now.

Dashana, I saw that.

These photos are sick.

Did you wear your scrubs the entire time you were in Ibiza?

I partied at night, but during the day I did help little kids with dysentery.

Ibiza has everything.

Take me back.

Okay, wait. Let's follow each other.

Okay, Dr. Selfie, not exactly what I meant by "take it away."

Oh. Okay. Well, sorry, this is Mr. Nichols. He's 27.

He's admitted with fainting, bleeding gums and bruising,

and he's asking us to accommodate his special diet.

Oh. Of course. Are you vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free?

-Tarzan. -What now?

He's talking about the Tarzan diet. It's, like, all over TikTok.

It's all organic, low carbs, maximum protein.

He has a whole page devoted to it.

Check out this video. He's crushing a 14-egg omelet.

-Like, what? -Twelve, thirteen ... Boom! Egg ...

That was actually insane, brah.

Um, it's Dr. Brah, and that's probably why you passed out at the gym.

You need more than protein.

The Tarzan diet is how our ancestors ate.

I'm surprised I have to explain that to a doctor.

Our ancestors weren't Tarzan.

Tarzan is a fictional character.

I wouldn't be so sure. They did make a movie about his life.

Hmm.

I love this room, Sibby.

When I was an intern, all we had for stress relief

was crying in the supply closet.

Oh. Well, I learned all these techniques at a seminar.

But I guess I got bedbugs at an airport motel for nothing

because the interns don't want to come in here.

They think I'm weird.

You're not weird.

Thanks. I'm gonna ring the affirmation gong now.

Um, do I have to stay here until that ends?

Yeah. Don't talk.

This feud between medical and surgical has been going on

since we were interns, and long before that.

But it all ends today. As your chief of surgery...

...and your chief of medicine, we're gonna show you

how to consult on a patient together.

Today, med...

-...and surg merge. -Merge.

You guys don't charge me per doctor, do you?