Naruto (ナルト)

Unh.

Hey.

Perv, you awake?

One way to find out.

Hidden Finger jutsu.

1,000 years of death!

Man, he's totally out of it.

Some trainer.

He's pathetic.

OK, Frogman.

What was that all about?

Who do you think you are, anyway?

I'm glad you asked.

I'm the Hermit of Mount Myoboku.

The wise and immortal spirit.

That's right!

It is I, the Toad Mountain Sage!

NARUTO (VOICEOVER): Long Time No See.

Jiraiya Returns!

What?

Toad Sage?

Exactly.

-Well, listen, you pervy sage, what are you

going to do about this?

This guy is supposed to be training me,

and you laid him out flatter than a bath mat!

-Well, he shouldn't have interfered with my research.

Your research?

You see, I'm a novelist.

I am a writer of great books, like this.

Huh?

Hm.

Hm-hm-hm-hm.

What?

You wrote that?

Yes!

I see you know it.

I'm famous and it's not out in paperback

yet.

-You call that pervy trash a novel?

Research.

Yeah, right.

Just It excuse for you to peek at girls in the bathhouse.

Ah!

Look at what you've done.

You ruined my peeking.

I mean my research.

Dirty old man.

-You little-- there's nothing dirty about it.

I happen to be a serious artist who's

inspired by youth and beauty.

That's all.

And--

Yeah.

Whatever.

Like anyone believes that.

Who cares anyway?

What about my training?

Hm?

Your training?

You mean the Walking On Water technique

you were having so much trouble with?

You can do it?

OK, then it's up to you to teach it to me.

You at least owe me that,

Huh!

Stop bothering me, kid.

I'm busy.

Um!

Hey, wait!

Come back here, you pervy sage.

Where's your sense of responsibility?

You've got to train me.

Not on your life!

I can't work with someone who has

no respect for a true artist.

Nunh.

Besides, I don't like kids.

-Uh, actually, I thought your book, "Make-out Paradise", was,

uh, really well-written, and interesting, and informative.

Liar.

The purchase and reading of that book

is prohibited for anyone under the age of 18.

Oh, yeah.

But the reviews I read were great!

-Do you really think that's going to work on me?

What do you take a for, an idiot?

I'm a goddamn sage!

Save your breath, kid.

You can't butter me up.

OK!

You're right.

Sorry.

But wait.

You can't-- ah awh.

So long, and good luck!

That was cool!

I don't care if he is a dirty old man.

That guy's the real deal!

Hey!

Pervy sage, where are you?

Where'd he disappear to?

No!

No!

Wait!

A-huh.

Ooh.

What do you think you're doing,

you disgusting old man?

-I'm sorry, but you have such a beautiful pair

of soft and lovely, uh, hands!

You really do have beautiful hands.

How do you keep them so soft?

Filthy beast!

Ow!

So much for soft hands.

Sheesh.

What was I thinking?

This guy's really pathetic.

He's even pervier than my last trainer.

But it's not like I have much choice.

Hmm.

Looks like the women in this town

are no friendlier than before.

Still, I like them feisty!

So you've been here before, huh?

Huh?

You again?

-I'm surprised they don't make you wear a leash.

You old pervert!

Shh!

Shh!

Shh!

You know, I really wish you wouldn't

use the word "pervert."

-Oh, yeah! (LOUDLY) Well, tell me

how you like the word "joke."

Because that's you are, mister.

A joke!

First I get stuck with a closet perv, and now, oh,

why can't I get a trainer that-- ah!

Oh, put a lid on it, will you?

There you go, kid.

You can train in there for a while.

NARUTO (MUFFLED ): Hey!

Hey!

Let me out of here, you old toad!

-Ah, what I'd give for just a few minutes

with a young, pretty girl.

Ah.

Ah!

What?

What i-- what?

Ow!

Unh!

You can't get rid of me that easy!

Well, what do you know?

A substitution jutsu.

Not bad, old man.

That was close.

Ah!

Little squirt!

He'll have to be a lot smarter than that

to outfox the Toad Mountain Sage.

Oh, yeah?

How am I doing now?

Ah.

OK.

I'll admit you're not totally without talent.

-So does that mean you'll help me with my training?

Not so fast, squirt.

It's a question of quid pro quo.

I'll give you what you want, but in return, you

have to try and get me what I want.

So what do you want?

-- You must know by now.

I like them ripe and luscious, with curves like that, see?

And big, but not too big, know what I mean?

If you bring me something like that,

I will train you 'til the cows come home!

You will?

No lie?

-The Toad Mountain Sage never lies!

You got it!

Wait here.

Hm?

Ah ha!

Uh um.

Too bad, kid.

It's not like we had a contract, really.

Oh, ladies!

Can you show me the way to town, uh?

Then I said, not with my rice bowl, you don't.

That's a pretty funny story.

(CHUCKLING) It's funny, yes.

But it's not just a story.

Every word of it is true.

Really?

What happened next?

Hey, pervy sage I'm back!