Pennyworth

It's Alfie. Rule is,

When something seems too good to be true, it is.

Like when Patrick Wayne offered us a million quid cash

To break Thomas out of Tower of London.

I knew Thomas was innocent,

So I said yes.

It was a lark.

- Your plan worked. - 'Course it worked.

It was a lovely plan.

I knew someone fitted Thomas up

Just like they did to Jessica Thistle.

Bloody CIA and their mind-control malarkey.

In other news, Daveboy seems to have found himself a girl.

There's a party tonight at the gallery.

She sounds quite posh.

Daveboy, this is Francis Foulkes.

He likes you.

Now I'm all for romance and the like,

Except when it shows up in my living room snogging my mum.

I'd better go.

Thank you, Alfie. Thank you very much.

But back to my million quid.

- Thomas? - I haven't got anything out of him yet.

It wasn't me!

It was her.

I ended up doing the right thing,

And guess how that turned out?

I'll give you a hint.

I'm not a millionaire.

I hear you whispering

But nobody's there

My eyes are still lingering

Thomas, don't do this.

Drop the gun.

- It's okay, Martha. - Don't move.

I was just turning around just to put it...

Put the gun down first, Thomas.

I mean it.

Put it down, now.

Jesus, Martha, relax.

What the fuck are you doing?

I had a bad dream.

Okay... well,

Next time, wake me up and let me know.

'Cause I nearly shot you, Thomas.

It's a great marriage we got going, huh?

Yeah.

We have to find a way past this.

It's been a month.

Any ideas?

Well, um... you can stop acting like you're scared of me.

I'm not acting scared of you. I am scared of you.

Well, all I can do is keep telling you that I'm sorry

And that I will never, ever hurt you again.

It wasn't me who attacked you.

- It wasn't me. - I know.

But it was you that chose your father over me.

- At least that's how it feels. - I didn't!

I made a mistake. He's my father. I trusted him.

And you lied to me.

Oh, my God. Here we go again.

Yeah, here we go again, because it's those lies that started...

No! Enough, Thomas!

I need to go to sleep.

Martha, I'm sorry. I...

Yeah, me, too.

Make sure you put that gun away.

Where you off to looking like that?

- What's wrong with the way I look? - Nothing. You look nice, is all.

Then just say that.

- I'm meeting someone. - Who?

Do I ask who you're meeting every time you walk out the door?

- As a matter of fact, you do, yeah. - And you rarely tell me.

Which is probably a blessing, truth be told.

If you must know, I'm meeting Roger and I don't want to hear about it.

That bloke who legged it out of here last month?

- He did no such thing. - Like a rabbit.

Can you blame him if he did?

Most people aren't used to your shenanigans.

He just didn't seem to have much of a constitution, is all I'm saying.

And you have to admit, it's pretty poor form

He made you wait so long before ringing you again.

He didn't ring me. I rang him.

You rang him?

And why not? Times are changing.

A woman can ring a man without the world coming to an end.

I was only asking.

And you can see who you like, obviously.

Well, thank you very much.

By the way, while you were having a nice long kip,

The Prime Minister's Office called.

They want to see you as soon as possible.

Really? They say what about?

- No. And I didn't ask. - Why not?

Because I'm not your bleeding secretary.

Mmm.

Is everything all right?

You're not mixed up with anything, are you?

Not that I know of.

Business has been a bit slow of late.

Be nice if he was calling about a job.

Oh.

Well, I'm sure it'll work itself out.

I'm off. There's bread for toast if you're hungry.

Mum...

You look lovely.

Thank you, Alfie.

Hmm.

Good afternoon, young lady. What seems to be the problem?

Oh, no problem.

Hello, Mrs. G.

Well, I'll be damned.

Uh, Marlene, thank you.

Come, come.

Well, Bet Sykes. How are you, my dear?

- Well enough. You? - Oh, I'm in fine fettle.

I rather thought you'd be dead by now, given the way that you carry on.

Never better, me.

I heard about the former Ravens being murdered.

- That was you, I suppose? - Murdered? No.

Put down, I call it.

Well, how on earth did you track them down?

Well, how did you track me down, for that matter?

Little something I took from Miss Dixon.

I see.

And this is her baby, is it?

Julie. Sweet, isn't she?

Yes, she is.

Oh, Bet, really?

Never you mind her.

We've business to discuss.

I can't possibly see what business we might have at this point.

John Salt, of course. I need to know where he is.

I'm afraid I can't tell you that.

Can't...

Or won't?

Won't, to be more precise.

I know where he is, and I won't tell you.

You'll tell us or I'll shoot you.

- Don't think I won't. - I do think you won't.

How's that, then?

You're not a monster, Bet.

You're just a misguided young woman, but not a monster.

Now, would you like a cup of tea?

Go on, then.

Proper tea, mind.

- None of that Earl Grey rubbish. - All right.

Ah.

- Mr. Prime Minister. - Alfred.

- Busy around here. - Yes, the summit starts next week,

But Commonwealth leaders have already begun to arrive.

So, I'm quite pressed for time.

Well, I've got quite a busy schedule myself.

But I was glad you called. Thought you might still be cross with me

For breaking Thomas Wayne out of the Tower.

Not that I'm saying I did.

But people say all sorts, don't they?

I should have you arrested.

No doubt you'll be back behind bars at some point,

But until then, your services can be useful.

Fair play. What kind of services did you have in mind?

What do you know about the island nation of Kalpur?

Not much. Used to be a colony of ours, didn't it?

Yeah. Well, after gaining their independence ten years ago,

Their government has faced intense opposition

From a radical separatist group known as the Kalpur Freedom Party,

Which controls several districts in the southern end of the island.

They're led by a woman named Zahra Khin,

Who arrived in London yesterday.

She's here for the summit?

Not officially, no. Miss Khin is considered a political dissident,

An enemy combatant of the recognized government of Kalpur,

Which is why my office

Cannot be involved with what I need you to do.

All due respect, Prime Minister, I'm not in the business

Of eliminating political dissidents.

Neither is the British government.

Miss Khin is here to speak with the President of Kalpur

In hopes a truce can be arranged.

I need somebody outside official channels

To look after her during her stay.

Happy to help.

- Foreign diplomats is extra, of course. - Of course.

My father was a man of the people.

And the people of Kalpur have been abandoned by a government

That claims independence whilst allowing the yoke

Of British colonialism to remain around our necks

In order to line their own pockets.

I see we're off to a passionate start.

Prime Minister.

These talks are a waste of time, as I told you they would be.

Miss Khin's only goal is to destabilize my country...

- It's not your country. - And overthrow my government.

This meeting is over.

She's no different than her father.

Thank you, Mr. President. Such a lovely compliment.

I thought we were here to find common ground, Miss Khin.

Oh, one doesn't find common ground with a python, Prime Minister.

Only a lack of air.

May I introduce Mr. Alfred Pennyworth,