Man with a Plan

It says here there's a supervolcano in Yellowstone

that's gonna explode and destroy the world.

Yeah?

So, yes, I will have another beer.

Who's that?

We're everybody you know.

You know who's not gonna knock before they come into your house?

Supervolcano.

Adam.

Alice.

Yeah.

Look, guys, it's my mother-in-law

at my door with no warning.

I just wanted a nice visit with my family.

- Ah. - Where's Andi?

Uh, she's out buying new towels.

Yeah, she asked if I wanted to go with her,

and now I regret saying no.

Oh.

Oh, Adam, I love your little jokes.

I'm gonna go upstairs and surprise the kids.

Okay.

Hey, Don.

Hello, little man I don't know.

Where's your supervolcano when I need it?

- The nuts are better. - Oh, good, you found my brownies.

I was saving those.

Where's Alice?

Upstairs unpacking.

She's really making herself comfortable.

She already turned the thermostat up to 80.

Andi is not gonna like this surprise.

Well, what's the big deal? Alice seems nice.

Uh, she is, but she makes Andi crazy.

And instead of telling her mom she makes her crazy,

Andi puts me in the middle.

And I have to take it,

because of one promise I made in a church 20 years ago.

Andi's home. I better go warn her outside,

away from anything breakable.

Hey, honey.

I got the towels. Oh, and I picked up

Teddy's new baseball bat.Ooh.

Let me hold that for you.

And can I just say

that you look beautiful

and I will love you until the end of time.

What happened and how upset am I going to be?

Good, your mind is prepared for something horrible.

Your mom is here.

- What? - Mm-hmm.

But we're not ready. I mean, I-I haven't steamed

or cleaned or washed or prepped.

It looks like our regular house in there.

Smart to get rid of the bat, huh?

A volcano's bad enough,

but a supervolcano will take your head right off.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, there she is.

Oh, Don was just telling me how we're all gonna die.

Ah.

Ah, this is such a surprise.

You're here.

Without calling or texting or any of the things people do.

Where's Dad?

Oh, he's having a staycation with George and Fred.

Those are our Yorkies.

We gave them human names so it wouldn't be weird

when they sit and eat at the table.

Now, u-uh, Mom, b-before you say anything,

o-our house is usually much neater.

Oh, it looks fine.

Yeah, sure.

Um... let's go into the living room, huh?

Where the couch pillows better be fluffed.

They might be.

I never know what you mean when you say that.

He knows what a fluffy pillow is, Mom.

You can't listen to him. He's on the beer.

Hey.

I'm "on the beer"?

I made $300 last year recycling your wine bottles.

Look, I'm sorry. I-I know you didn't do anything wrong.

It's just, you know,when my mom is here,

I have to be perfect.

Hey, hey. Remember when your mom wasn't here?

That was great, right?

I just don't want to disappoint her.

You know, it's like I'm ten years old.

Why can't you just tell your mom

that you don't feel like you can be yourself around her?

I-I think she needs to hear that.

You're right. She does need to hear that.

Finally.

But with one small adjustment.

You see, I think

that she needs to hear it from you.

Wha... No.

No. You're always putting me in the middle.

Yeah, yeah. You're my buffer.

My big, buff buffer.

Yeah, but I don't like it.

You know? We're barely over last Thanksgiving,

when you made me tell her that her cranberry salad

looked like a raccoon that swallowed a firecracker.

Come on. Once more for me?

One last job.

You know, in the movies,

they always get killed on that one last job.

I-It... It'll be great. It'll be great.

After dinner, I'll go to bed and you can talk to her.

And then, when I wake up, all the bad stuff will be over.

Just like surgery.

Fine. I'll talk to her.

But I'm gonna be on the beer when I do it.

Okay.

Hey.

Kids are all tucked in.

- Where's Andi? - Uh, already in bed. Yeah.

Somehow I got you all to myself.

But, um,

it's good, because, uh, I need to talk to you about something,

and it's a little delicate.

Okay. Before we get to that,

I have to tell you something, and it's-it's pretty personal.

That sounds like an anybody-but-me situation.

Oh, but you know that I love you like a son.

And you've been so wonderful to me

from the first moment that we met.

Oh, I-I think you misunderstood.

I was just trying to sleep with your daughter.

Adam, you're so funny.

But the thing is, I've left Andi's father.

What?

Yeah. Oh, no,it's okay, it's okay.

Oh, Frank and I have known this was coming for a long time.

But last Thursday Frank sneezed too loud and I just had it.

Oh, Alice, I'm sorry.

Oh, d... no, don't be.

I am rediscovering who I am.

I mean, who knows, I might be a vegan.

I might be a Democrat or I might be a lesbian.

Wow.

Well, it's nice to have options.

Yeah. I do have one favor to ask you, though.

Yeah, sure, anything, anything.

Well, uh, Andi's gonna need to hear the news.

- That'll be tough. - Yeah.

Which is why I'd like her to hear it from you.

That puts me in the middle.

You're gonna do a super job.

And I'll take the kids to the zoo tomorrow.

And when I get back, all the messiness will be over.

It's just like surgery.

You scared me.

Oh, good, good. Your mind is prepared

for something horrible again.

Oh, did the talk with my mom not go well?

Well... there were some complications during surgery.

She told me some tough news.

Oh, my God. Did something happen to the Yorkies?

Kind of.

Their parents split up.

Listen, I am here for you.

Whatever you need, you just tell me.

'Cause you know I won't know on my own.

Yeah.

God, my poor dad.

Yeah, well, the good news is, I called to check on him.

He's doing great.

He's gonna open a topless car wash

called Put 'Em on the Glass.

Yeah, he's been talking about that for years.

Oh. Well, that makes sense.

Yeah, you don't come up with a clever name like that overnight.

I just... I never saw this coming,

but I... although I don't know why I would.

She never tells me anything. She didn't even tell me this.

She made you do it.

And I don't appreciate her making you tell me things.

You should go tell her that.

What? That puts me in the middle again.

Adam, 20 years ago, you made a promise to me...

In a church. I remember.

I should've read the fine print.

You know what would solve everything?

Is if your mom wasn't here.

Oh, I can't kick her out now. She'll think I'm upset with her.

You are upset with her.

That's why she can't know. That's how we do it.

That's ridiculous.

But what I'm hearing is,

if you two can talk things out, she can go?

- Uh... - I like it.

I like it. Now that there's a little cheese in the trap,

I'm interested.

Ah. Good morning.

Hi, Mom.

You told her already? But I'm still here.

The damn zoo doesn't open till 10:00.