Bob Hearts Abishola

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...

How do you break through to an executive position?

Oh, it's simple.

I had to be willing to do whatever it takes.

Do whatever it takes, okay.

Morning, boss.

Hi.

Really, Jared?

You told them I coerced you? -You said

to do whatever it takes.

Not to me, to other people.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just had a free afternoon.

You know, for the rest of my life.

-Are you drunk? -Don't worry. I Ubered.

I may be a sexual predator,

but I am not irresponsible.

Boop!

What are you talking about?

I was terminated

for having inappropriate sexual relations

with a "subordinant." -No...

You'll get through this.

-Doesn't feel like it. -You will.

And I'll be with you every step of the way.

I love you, Mom.

I love you, too, sweetie.

So, did you use protection

or am I gonna finally get that grandbaby?

-Hello. -Hey, honey.

How did things go at the hospital today?

It was good. Only two people died.

Your good days and mine are different.

Dele and I had a fun day.

What kind of fun day?

I took him for a haircut, then I played Xbox while he did homework.

I guess I had a fun day.

-E kaale, Mum. -Kaale.

What's with the hat? Show your mom your new haircut.

She just got home. I don't want to bother her.

What did you do?

I got to say, it's pretty fly.

You know, that's the same look everyone gave me

when I said it at the barber shop.

Dele; Let me see this fly haircut.

-What is this? -Apparently, they're called twists.

I don't care what they are called.

You know better.

Take them out.

I don't want to.

Excuse me?

I like them and I want to keep them.

I did not ask you what you liked.

This is my house. Take them out.

No.

Have you lost your mind?!

All right, let's everybody chill out for a second.

You, go and chill yourself.

Who do you think you are talking to?

Okay, you're overreacting.

Two other kids at the barber shop were getting the exact same cut.

Did these two other children have foolish stepfathers?

It's a haircut. Not a face tattoo.

I can't even look at you anymore.

-Go to your room. -Hang on;

Let's just take a minute.

There's no problem so big that we can't talk about.

Maybe there is. Dele, go to your room.

Dele's phone, his mother is speaking.

Damn, you took the boy's phone?

No, he will not be studying with you tonight, Steven.

Erase this number.

Very smart.

"Studying" could be code for robbing a liquor store.

I should have dragged him to the bathroom

and combed out his hair myself.

Instead, you let him win,

and now Dele will never respect your authority again.

He's just pushing the limits.

And it's gonna happen more and more.

Especially now that

he knows you have gone soft.

Mm-mmm. I sent him to his room

and I took away all his video games.

-Does he still have a bed? -Yes.

Soft.

I think he's been punished enough for getting a haircut.

Mm-mmm. Dele knows when people see him with his hair like that,

they will make assumptions.

It'll keep him from getting into a good school

or getting a decent job.

Eh. That is not entirely true.

He could play a criminal on CSI.

Are you kidding me?

A hairstyle makes the boy a criminal?

I did not make the rules.

No, white people did.

But just because they're the "rules,"

does that mean we have to play by 'em?

I think so.

You think so?

Soft!

-Oh, my God. -What?

Everyone on Facebook

found out about me and Jared.

They're calling me the 'Toesey Hoesey'.

Oh, big deal.

You know what we called sleeping with a coworker

when I was your age?

-What? -Sex.

It wasn't even that good.

It's like going to prison for stealing a Honda Civic.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Mama's gonna fix everything.

It's gonna be okay.

Nothing will ever be okay again.

That's the same thing you said junior year of high school

when you didn't get cast in Oklahoma!

I practiced... so hard!

I know you did, sweetheart.

But that night we ate

an entire pound cake and sang

"People Will Say We're in Love."

And you felt better, didn't you?

I did.

But look at me now.

-I'm a total mess. -All I see

is my beautiful little girl

with a rat's nest on her head.

-That's nice, right? -Mm-hmm.

Okay, maybe just let mama sing.

Okay, the router's connected, the Wi-Fi should be up.

Ah. Hold on. I will Google a question.

Success.

Brad Pitt is five, 11.

Tunde, it looks as if the dog is driving the car.

That's so funny.

Thank you, Bob.

All right, you guys have a fun night.

Would you like to stay for dinner?

Or perhaps until Dele graduates from high school?

You guys hear everything that goes on in our house?

You live with Abishola's mother.

So, yes.

Here is a picture of you sleeping on the couch.

I'm not wrong in how I handled Dele's haircut.

If you're going to insist on having opinions,

I suggest you buy an air mattress.

I get that I don't have the life experience

to deal with raising a young Black man,

but I do know some stuff that could be helpful.

What stuff?

Well, off the top of my head, I know a haircut

is a way of expressing a person's individuality,

and that should be encouraged.

All right, what's for dinner?

Hey.

I went ahead and booked us a spot

for the trade show in Chicago.

Wonderful; Who should we send?

-I was thinking Christina. -Wait.

Christina does not work here.

I know.

-I'm gonna throw her a lifeline. -Wait.

You cannot make a decision like that on your own.

You got a problem with me helping my daughter?

Oh, no, I love nepotism.

One day, this building will be filled with Olayiwolas.

Well, then what's the big deal?

According to the company bylaws,

the addition of any executive salaries

must go through the board of directors.

-You read the company bylaws? -Yes.

It is the MaxDot Magna Carta.

Look, when you run a business,

you don't always do everything by the book.

Then why write the book?

Because the lawyers said we had to.

Let me give you an example.

Let's say you run a factory

and the wiring isn't up to code.

Is our wiring not up to code?

Don't interrupt.

Now, you know the compliance officer

who's inspecting your factory

is a real big football fan.

Would you spend

half a million dollars rewiring your factory

or a couple of grand on Lions season tickets?

Bringing the factory up to code is a better long-term decision.

It's like you're so smart it makes you dumb.

Come in.

You got a minute?

I've got a month.

I just want to be clear about something.

You knew your mom was gonna go nuclear

when she saw your hair. -I did.

And you didn't think to give me a heads-up?

I was standing there clueless.

I used the word "fly."