The Office

Buenos dias, erin.

Buenos dias, miguel.

Hello, dunder-mifflin.

No, no, no, no.

Solamente, en español, por favor.

I believe that every man, woman, and child in this country

Should learn how to speak spanish.

They are our neighbors he south,

An to cancun.

Buenos diaz, jaime.

Buenos diaz, miguel. Como estas?

Ha ha!

Buenos diaz, dwight!

Guten tag, herr michael.

I don't understand why michael

Is wasting his time with spanish.

I have it on very good authority

That within 20 years,

Everyone will be speaking german.

Or a chinese-german hybrid.

La telefona.

El telefono.

Michael's having a hard time with the gender part of spanish.

So I told him to mark everything

With the international symbol for gender.

And, um...

I should have been more specific.

Your office is full of genitalia.

oh.

Eso es lo que dice el.

"that's what he says"?

Damn it.

Ah, angelo.

Angela.

Michael.

Yo soy cancun.

Uhh!

All right, so I'll finish up on bulk pricing,

And then you go into delivery guarantee.

You know, maybe there's an opportunity

For a joke there.

Like, um...Like,

"I just delivered a baby.

They didn't offer me a guarantee."

Yeah, or maybe we don't even need that.

Can you smell the power of halperts?

Power couple.

You know what?

I should be getting this client, michael.

My numbers are better than either of theirs.

I went with the people

I thought would put the best face on the company.

If you want people

To put the best face on something,

Why would you get two people

Who probably have never cut the face

Off of anything in their lives?

that's a good point.

This is our first joint sales pitch.

I think we're gonna work really well together.

Yeah, I think we have mplementary strengths.

Hispering] I don't even know who you are anymore.

Yee.

Hi, uh, donna newton, here to see michael scott.

Oh, hey, ms. Newton.

Hi, I'm jim.

How are you?

Did somebody order a hooker over here?

- oh, stop that. - Hi.

How are you?

There's this woman I met a few weeks ago.

Her name is donna,

The manager of sid & dexter's.

And, right now, we're in the midst

Of a passionate love affair.

Um, no. But she is coming by today.

Maybe to buy some printers, so...

Right here, we have the wonder twins,

Jim and pam halpert.

They will be assisting you today.

You look exactly alike.

Oh, no, we're actually married.

We're not brother and sister.

I have a sense about these things.

All right.

You have some ancestors in common...

Somewhere back.

I knew it.

You should see their baby.

So, yes, laser printers are more expensive.

But they cost less to operate.

so it's a tradeoff.

These magazines sent to me

Via the address of the woman who used to live in my condo

Before me.

None of this is time sensitive.

Uh, yes, uh, the sale is on now through may.

Oh, yeah, thank you.

Okay, I have more of them.

You would have weekly confence calls

With executives in corporate.

A two-week training program

At the yale school of management,

Obviously, you would be high on the list

For advancement opportunities.

Sounds all right.

What is this?

Oh, this is "print in all colors,"

Sabre's minority executive training program.

It doesn't just sound a'ight,

It sounds amazing.

I didn't say "a'ight."

How do I apply?

You have to be a minority.

Uh, glasses wearers.

Cholera survivors. Geniuses.

Non-organic family farmers.

The list goes on and on. You want me to keep going?

Those don't really count.

We're thinking more ethnic and racial minorities.

Come here.

Come here. - Hmm?

Ten seconds ago, this guy was driving a forklift.

Okay? Now, all of a sudden, he's cinderella of the office.

What are you guys thinking?

Well...

I like the sound of this.

Maybe one day I'll be sitting in michael's chair.

Wouldn't that be something?

One minority from this branch

Is going to get into this program.

Who would I prefer? Hmm...

The competent, hardworking one

Who does things his own way,

Or the malleable simpleton who can be bought

For a few fashion magazines?

This is the second time

That you've sent me the wrong size.

I mean, I know what a four should feel like,

I've been a four my whole life.

You know what? You can go to hell.

All right? Thanks for nothing.

Oh, man.

White people, right?

I don't know if she was white.

Well, you can kind of tell from the voice.

Yeah.

I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot,

Just because of your race.

Well, they say it's because of texting,

But maybe you're right.

I think you should consider applying

For the executive minority training program.

Never thought of myself as an executive before.

I know, 'cause you have no role models.

How many indian ceos can you think of?

I can't think of any ceos, any race.

You could be the indian bill gates.

You could be the indian ted turner.

I could be the indian julia roberts.

That's not-- she's--okay.

Yes.

I took the liberty to scan a few things earlier,

And I want to show you--

There we go!

Whoa, look at those vivid colors.

Look at my eyes.

Those are shrek-green eyes.

That is me again.

I think this displays the crisp, dazzling white.

Mm-hmm.

And that would be a display

Of the crisp, gorgeous black.

Yeah.

It's subtle.

That's how it works.

I show her an image that turns her on.

And then she looks at me, then she looks at the image,

Then back at me, then back at the image.

Soon, she doesn't know what is me,

What is the image.

She just knows that she's turned on.

This is a place that I like to go

To be alone with my thoughts.

I've never taken anybody there before.

Who took the photo?

- Ryan. - Oh.

And that's it.

That's me.

That's who I am.

Not bad.

oh, thanks.

you're not bad, either.

Thank you.

Ahem.

Hmm.

Oh, my god.

Jim! Could you come in here for a sec?

What was that printer we were looking at?

You didn't see it, pam.