An Unexpected Christmas

This program is rated G

and is suitable for general audiences.

There you go, little buddy.

What time's the flight?

It's tomorrow.

Early.

Em, I feel like

you've been living out of that suitcase

for, like, a year.

Don't you want to just stop?

Yeah, well, this is me stopping.

I'm stopping in Honolulu,

and then I'm going 40 minutes to Kauai,

and I'm going to do nothing but relax.

Well, at least

pack something cute.

You might someone.

Babe, unless it's a date wrapped in bacon,

I'm not interested.

It's a relaxation retreat!

Morning, Matt!

Are you at work already?

It's almost 9:00.

What?

Ugh! I'm late again.

I need you to cover for me.

And say what?

I don't know. Just anything.

Anything that's better than last time.

People do get their arms caught

in vending machines.

It's a thing.

It's not a thing!

Oh!

See you.

Morning. Sorry.

God bless you.

-Thank you. -Morning.

Mood?

Uh, I don't know...

but he's doing

that weird clicking thing with his tongue.

Emily.

We need to chat.

Daryl, I'm supposed to be nursing a sunburn in Hawaii

this time tomorrow.

Why me?

Because you're the best creative director on the floor,

and I need a miracle here.

You're my wunderkind.

My Don Draper.

Don Draper is one of

the most tragic fictional characters

in television history.

But he had a thing.

You have a thing.

I need you to do that thing.

What thing?

That thing where you take a nothing

and turn it into a something.

A shiny, gold-plated something.

Jerry bailed because he knew his concept was a brick.

Look at these.

They're awful. Why does he--

I need you to take that brick and turn it into a wall.

No!

A fortress.

A gold-plated fortress.

And I know you know what I mean.

No! La, la, la, la, la!

I know you know what it is.

You also know that Jerry's halfway out the door,

and when he goes,

that big, cushy office of his will be up for grabs.

I like big. I like cushy.

Plus the international stuff.

First-class?

Economy-plus.

Unlimited peanuts.

We've got projects coming in from Toronto,

London.

A big one in the Caymans.

You spend the next five days in Fulton

spinning this straw into gold,

I'll make sure your name goes to the top of the list.

I'm sorry, did you say Fulton?

Christmas capital of Illinois.

Oh, no.

No, Daryl, anywhere but there.

I cannot go to Fulton, Illinois.

Did you hear that?

Is that the sound of a big, cushy corner office

slamming shut?

Super. Mahalo!

No, no, Mom,

the train departure is at 2:20,

the train arrives at 4:40,

which means you want to be at the station...

You're not writing any of this down, are you?

Just r elax, okay?

You still haven't confirmed

whether or not Emily is going to be joining us.

Look, uh, Ma...

...we're playing that one by ear,

so, uh, you know, lots on her plate.

Well, she's never been here

for Christmas before,

and not for nothing,

but I think this new series I'm working on

would look super cute--

Yeah, Ma, that's great. I've gotta go. I really do.

Okay, but before you go,

you're not gonna believe

what I found the other day at String and Things.

Uh-huh?

Do you remember those little clay paint pots

I brought back from my trip to Bloomington

For Joanie's retirement party?

And I kept saying

how much I had wished I had bought more of them?

Well, just the other day,

I popped into the store to pick up some...

Matt.

Yeah.

Well, what about Hawaii?

Wait, wait, wait.

Hawaii is on hold.

Instead, I'm going to spend the next five days

in balmy Fulton.

Fulton?

Isn't that where--

Jamie's from? Exactly.

Where you can't swing a candy cane

without hitting a member of his family.

Fun.

Not to mention

this project needs more work than the Colosseum.

Look at this.

Jerry.

Jerry...

So, sayonara to sun, sand,

and anything resembling relaxation.

I'm sorry, Gina.

Good day, everyone.

I know that we are all eager

to scurry off for the holidays,

but I'll keep this one short.

You good?

I'm good. I'm good.

Thank you. I'm sorry.

Poll numbers are down.

Again.

Apparently, I am too corporate.

Too policy-focused.

Not relatable enough.

Gina, where are we with the Christmas Day address?

Right on track.

I'm still locking down a location,

but Martin's been working on the speech.

Right.

And it reads like a thesis on tax reform.

Come on, people,

this is supposed to get me re-elected.

Don't we have anyone who's clever?

Funny?

Human?

Uh, yeah.

Jamie can write it.

This guy is on the writing team?

I'm on the...

I'm on the Gina team.

I hired him last month.

He's been writing copy for your mail-outs.

That one you talked about

with the new state smoking bylaws?

No if, ands...

or butts...

about it.

Jamie, shh.

No.

I need heartwarming.

Inspiring.

Relatable.

My re-election depends on it.

So, please, don't let me down.

Yes, Ma'am.

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you, Governor.

No if, ands or butts...

Hey, Gina,

what just happened?

That sounds like

a pretty important campaign speech. no?

Why do you think I hired you?

Pity.

I answered too quickly, didn't I?

I'm serious.

You're here because you can write.

Friend or not,

I wouldn't have hired you if you couldn't.