Seinfeld

So I went to a fashion show.

First of all,

the whole concept of modeling

is counterproductive to the fashion industry,

because when these women are around,

who's looking at clothes?

I didn't notice any of the clothes.

We're all applauding. "Yeah!"

What are we applauding?

We're applauding, "There's great-looking women here.

Yeah, this is great!"

We're applauding, "I'm glad I'm here in this room

with all these great-looking women."

Anybody can design a shirt.

It takes talent to get all these girls in one spot.

That's talent.

What is this goofy walk that the models do?

You know this walk that they do down the runway.

This, like-- They have to go somewhere.

You know, they're walking like they're--

Like they're really on the way somewhere, you know?

And then they get to the end, and it's like...

"Well, I guess I'll just go back."

I loved her, Jerry. I loved her.

No, you didn't.

And she loved me.

Oh, ho, ho. She really did.

No, she didn't.

What am I gonna do now?

I can't live without Susan.

I gotta get her back.

How? How am I gonna get her back?

Not only didn't you love her,

you didn't even like her.

Who says?

You did!

Ah.

A beautiful, successful, intelligent woman's

in love with me,

and I throw it all away.

Oh, ho, ho, boy!

Now I'll spend the rest of my life

living alone.

I'll sit in my disgusting little apartment,

watching basketball games,

eating Chinese takeout,

walking around with no underwear

'cause I'm too lazy to do a laundry.

You walk around with no underwear?

Yeah. What do you do when you run out of laundry?

I do a wash.

Who am I gonna meet that's better than her?

No one, Jerry. No one's better than her.

When you were with her, you said you couldn't stand her.

I loved her!

You said going up the steps to her apartment

was like being taken to a cell.

I would give anything to be going up those stairs again.

I got to call her. Should I call her?

George, I don't know if that's such a good idea.

Why?

You need some professional advice.

Why don't you go see Elaine's friend?

She's a therapist.

I'm not going to see that nut doctor she went to Europe with.

No, no. Elaine, what's the name of that friend of yours

that's a therapist? The woman.

Dana Foley.

Right. Dana Foley.

She any good?

Yeah, she's terrific. Why, are you thinking of going?

Tia? Who's that?

It's that model I met on the plane.

She sent you a Christmas card?

Mm-hmm.

And we're going out Saturday night.

My darling Susan.

My darling!

What are you doing?

Date with Fred.

The religious guy?

He's not that religious.

Let us pray.

Hey, you got any Double Crunch?

Yeah.

Kramer, should I call Susan?

Now, what does the little man inside you say?

See, you got to listen to the little man.

My little man doesn't know.

The little man knows all.

My little man's an idiot.

Say, she was clever. You know? She put her picture on her card.

I should do that. I never do anything like that.

You want a picture on a Christmas card? I can do that.

She kept such a nice, clean apartment.

She was so sanitary.

No. I was just thinking out loud.

I don't want my picture on a card.

No, no, I'll take your picture.

I'll take care of everything.

She made a big breakfast every Sunday.

I don't know what she put in those eggs.

All right, if you come on over,

I'll have my cereal,

and I'll take your picture.

Really? Can you really take a picture?

Yeah, he's good. He takes good pictures.

He's got equipment over there.

All right. Yeah.

I don't know about that outfit, though.

Why, what's wrong with it?

Well, we'll have to improvise.

George.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

So I'm thinking of putting in

a tropical fish tank right here.

Are you sure you're ready for that kind of commitment?

Well, I figure, if it doesn't work out,

I can always flush 'em down the toilet.

That's horrible.

What's that perfume you're wearing?

Oh, I completely forgot. I want you to see this.

That Calvin Klein ad I was telling you about

came out today.

-What is that smell? -It's here somewhere.

It smells like the beach.

Exactly.

Oh, my God. Is that the new perfume?

Yeah.

I can't believe this!

My next-door neighbor

had the idea for this exact perfume last year.

He even met with an executive

at Calvin Klein.

I can't believe they stole his idea.

Are you sure?

And you're the model for this perfume?

Uh, that's him. He just came home.

Oh, the door.

Hey. Hey, man.

Hey. How you doing?

Ooh...

Yeah, um...

Yeah, I'll-- I'll see you later.

I just wanted to borrow your DustBuster.

All right, come on in.

Just wait over here.

What?

Just wait here, and I'll get it for you.

Kramer, this is Tia.

Hello. Hi.

How tall are you?

5'10".

Well, let's see. Come on,

back-to-back.

No, Kramer!

What's the matter with you?

I just wanted to see how tall she was!

Oh, you're tall. She's tall. I'm tall.

What's the difference who's tall? We're all tall.

Hey, what's that? What?

That smell. What's that smell?

What smell?

It's very familiar.

I can't put my finger on it. Very familiar.

Oh, they're all the same.

Here. Now, if you'll excuse us.

Yeah, okay. So I'll see you tomorrow, huh? Yeah.

Yeah, okay. And nice meeting you.

Nice meeting you too.

Yeah, I'll see you later.

Whew! That was close.

The beach!

You smell like the beach!

What's the name of that perfume you're wearing?

It's Ocean by Calvin Klein.

Calvin Klein?

No, no, that's my idea.

The-they stole my idea.

See, I had the idea of a cologne

that makes you smell like you just came from the beach.

I know. Look at this.

That's you!

What is going on here?

D'Giff, he laughs at me, then he steals my idea!

I could have been a millionaire.

I could have been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry.

They're not gonna get away with this.

Hello, George. Come in, come in.

I've heard an awful lot about you.

Please, sit down.

Well, hello.

Uh, specifically the reason that I'm here--

I don't know what Elaine told you--

but, um, I-I broke up with my girlfriend

a couple of weeks ago.

Actually, she broke up with me, and, uh--

Well, I-I was the cause of it--