Combat Hospital

Take your places please,

this contest is going to begin in T-5 minutes.

Our first team,

their always there in a pinch. Fighting for freedom, the queen,

and their right to boil their beef.

They are team Britain!

You better run! You better hide!

It's team Australia!

We would've won.

- We eat that for a snack, man. - That's right. We would've won.

Hey, you guys, where are you going? Wrong direction.

- Party's that way. - Uh, we just got beeped.

We gotta be in Hutal by nightfall.

Hey, have you seen Bobby?

'Cause I bet him a week's worth of coffee that

the Canadians were gonna beat the Americans under the table.

The way our team's chowing down, you're gonna lose that money.

Okay, the U.S. may have

a higher obesity rate than Canada,

but we know how to eat kebabs.

Douche bags.

- What's up, man? - Hey, Ray. How's it going?

The beautiful Dr. Rebecca Gordon.

Mm. Marry me. I will take you away from all of this.

We'll settle in Florida, have a whole lot of babies.

Hmm. I think that I'll stick

with trauma surgery in Kandahar.

Well...

- Burn! (Laughs) - Burn! (Chuckles)

Dr. Rebecca, I'm in a bit of a bind here.

Hmm.

Uh, long story short, we have a hell of a stretch to Hutal,

and I need me some go.

"Go"?

As in pill-poppin', "need for speed" kind of go?

Mm.

That is for your flight surgeon to deal with.

Yeah, he's all the way across base,

but you are right here,

and the pharmacy is just inches away.

I'm sorry. Ray, I don't feel comfortable handing out

a heavy-duty stimulant like candy.

Are you serious? This is standard stuff,

plus, we are practically engaged here.

No, we are nowhere near engaged, and the answer is still no.

I'm sorry.

Hey. Hey, look, if... If you need some downtime...

You know what? Just forget I asked.

Enjoy your kebabs.

Yes, can you believe how fast

these contestants are slamming those little pieces of piggy

down their throat?

And the first person is France to slow down,

and she is out!

Deutschland has had too much.

Australia is still in,

and the Canadian is still going strong,

and America is out!

Yeah!

And the Netherlands drops out!

Deutschland and Hungary not so hungry anymore,

but Romania and Canada still going strong.

Romania...

Romania looks...

and no, he is over. He is out!

We have a winner...

The Canadian from the Kabul base!

Oh!

Whoo!

I say, to hell with country and base battles,

'cause I...

am repping the estrogen empire!

Whoo! What do I win, sir?

You have won this fetching blue ribbon.

May I pin it on you?

Wow. Thanks.

Wait, wait. What about the guy in the tower?

Are we doing this, or are we doing this?

Really?

Yeah. (Chuckles) Let's go.

Get up here now. Come on!

Ohh.

Come here. Come here.

Mm.

Mm.

Wait, wait, wait. Shh.

Ohh. I think I heard someone.

No, you didn't.

You didn't hear Marks or Will or anyone else,

so...

Ooh. Hey, hey. Yeah.

Ooh, yeah. Thank you.

No, thank you.

Ohh.

Why is it that you're everywhere work isn't?

Oh, come now, Rebecca.

A man who spends all day on the rumor mill...

He deserves some sort of respite, doesn't he?

God, you are just all walls and wisecracks, aren't you?

Yeah.

Well...

I'm not exactly alone behind the great wall now, am I?

You spend all hours of the night jogging around the base

like you're being chased.

Why exactly?

Mm. That's gonna be a problem.

Yeah, more than you know. That's the chef.

Mm.

Mm.

The whole "no sex on base" rule...

Marks doesn't take it seriously, right?

No, he takes everything seriously.

We could get kicked off base for this?

We could roll over an I.E.D.

and get shipped home in a coffin.

That's comforting.

Mm. (Laughs)

Ohh. It's Kandahar, Bobby.

Every day is a risk.

So the question is,

you want to take this risk with me?

Ohh.

Oh, no. Gotta go.

Gotta go.

- Mm. - Where's my shirt?

- Here. Swap. - Here.

Is that mine or yours? That's yours. No, that's yours.

Just wait there. I'm gonna get to you.

Shrapnel rips through walls...

Everyone's fine.

One cook with gastro grills meat...

Role 3 task force, Kandahar South. Corday speaking.

I lose half the base.

A 9-liner?

Thank you.

Downed chopper?

Is it one of ours?

Make up as many bottles

of oral rehydration solution as possible.

Okay, so it's, uh, bacterial, not viral?

Most likely.

Symptoms came on two hours after exposure.

We're still waiting on the cultures.

Okay.

Did we page everyone?

Yeah, if they're not puking their guts out,

they're on their feet helping out,

except for Bobby, Suzy, and Simon.

Yeah, well... Colonel.

Have an incoming 9-liner. Downed chopper 91.

Three injured. No other information.

Did they say who?

All I know is, Ray's bringing it in.

Uh, TOC's still trying to decipher the details.

E.T.A.'s about 30 minutes.

Which means the investigative team

will be here in 31 minutes.

Listen, I want everyone to cooperate.

They're gonna be asking a lot of questions.

Some of it may seem invasive,

but remember, these men are just trying to do their job.

Cockroaches.

We'll get the ready room prepped for our ailing kebab friends.

We're gonna want to bring in

the flight surgeon for this 9-liner.

Call Ben-Meir.

Et tu, Graham?

Oh. I'm sorry, sir.

Ohh. I'm gonna be fine, sir.

No, you're not fine. You're off duty as of now.

No, no, no. Sir, please.

Oh, I haven't missed a day's work in my life.

You've gotta give me something to do.

All right. There's a patient in Major Pedersen's office

she got the worst of it, and I want to make sure that

she keeps hydrated. Think you can handle that?

Yes, sir. I can handle that.

All right.

Go. Something wrong with your pager there, doctor?

No, sir. I'm sorry, sir.

All right. Just help with the solutions.

Yes, sir.

All right. Where the hell is Dr. Hill?!

I'll, uh, I'll get that.

We're missing Dr. Hill!

Oh, Rebecca, can you pass me a bottle of lytes?

Uh, yeah. Sure thing.

Let me hold it. You go.

Uh, Suzy?

Mm-hmm.