The Longshots

All right, darlin', I'm so glad to see you.

You can read that book when we get home. Come on, girl.

Sure, we're on tough times here in Minden.

Tough times! That's right!

We are in such tough times I can say:

You know, I remember that song Things Aren't the Way They Used to Be.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, things aren't the way they used to be,

and I got something to tell you. They might never get back to where they were!

Ladies and gentlemen, we don't need anything else but this.

Jesus gave us a brain. He gave us a heart.

- Thank you, Lord! - That's all you need.

So, if you concentrate

on what you don't have,

you forget about what you do have. Hallelujah!

Yeah!

Diggity, let me get 'em, throw 'em down there, gotta look them twos, baby!

Whoo! Here they come! Bam!

Team not lookin' that good this year. Do they, Curtis?

Heck, they ain't looked good in the last 25 years.

Damn! I ain't need no lemon! Look at it, look it.

One more cherry, I'd have won this thing.

Are we playing a game here or what, man?

I'm playin'! You hold it up, pick 'em up. Thank you.

That mean a double. Double trouble. In the bubble. Here we go.

Pow! Look out there, double four!

Hey, Curtis!

Hey.

Man, you took your break late today, huh?

Mm-mmm. Worked through it so I can get to practice.

You know, if you want to help, I can put in a word with coach.

I'm busy. Got too much on my plate.

I wouldn't want to cut into all that beer drinking and backgammon.

- Go long, let me see what you got. - I don't have time, man. My first day.

Hey, why don't you come by this week and get a real meal?

- Who's cookin'? - Val.

- Take a rain check. - That's wrong.

Do not hesitate!

- Hey. - Hey.

Why are you always reading at lunch?

I mean, is this like the nerd table or something?

J.K.

- You double Dutch? - Yeah, sure.

Me and a few girls are meeting behind the gym after school. You should come.

- Yeah, OK. - OK. See you there.

- So how was school today? - Fine.

Can you put that book down, please?

Sweetie, listen, I had to pick up longer hours at the diner.

- I'm not gonna get home till late. - So?

- I don't want you here alone. - But I can take care of myself.

Honey, there are plenty of after-school activities you could be doing.

- Like what? - I don't know! Like drama.

Dance. Something. Listen, I need for you to try.

Fine, I'll try.

Fashion?

About yesterday... I am really sorry.

I just got confused. I thought it was yesterday, but we're going today.

So a bunch of us are hanging out over there. You should come.

You comin'?

You crazy? I ain't tryin' to think about that stuff.

- Yo, what's up? - So, Jasmine,

we seem to have a little problem with the girls' bathroom.

Uh, the toilets are clogged, and since your name is Plummer and all,

we figured you'd be the one to unclog them.

Plumber girl, hope there's no dookey in it.

Ouch.

What a loser.

Everyone hates me.

They think I'm an idiot. Can I just stay home, please?

Please, Ma? I can take care of myself.

Claire, I ain't seen him. OK?

So if you lookin' for that child support or whatever,

- he don't contact me no more either. - This is not about your brother.

- It's about your niece, Jasmine. - What's wrong with her?

Curtis, I need somebody to hang out with her in the afternoon

- until I get my hours changed. - I ain't no babysitter!

Come on, you've been out of work for months.

I know you don't expect me to walk around here with some little girl.

I don't even like kids and you know that.

Well, find somebody else.

So, what, you just gonna walk away from me, Curtis?

Huh?

When your mama didn't have no place to go, remember who took care of her?

You playin' dirty pool, Claire.

Bring my mama in this, that ain't even fair.

Curtis, listen, man, all I'm asking you to do is to pick her up from school,

keep an eye on her. Just until I get home.

It's just a few hours a day.

- I give you five dollars an hour? - Five dollars?

Just pick her up from the school at 3:00.

Curtis, I don't have nowhere else to go.

Hey, girl.

Hey!

Hey!

So you gonna talk to me or what?

What you readin', anyway? What does it say?

- "Ma-geeky"? - It's a book,

and it's not "Ma-geeky", it's Magique.

It's about a boy who becomes a magical warrior,

so, if you don't mind, I'm trying to read.

Hey, don't be getting smart now.

I'm only doing this for your mama. All right?

I don't take no lip from no little girls neither.

- 'Cause I got better things to do. - Then go do 'em.

Where you...? Jasmine!

Hey! Hey, girl! Jasmine!

Ain't worth no damn five dollars! Hey, Jasmine! Come here!

[snorin9l

- Hey! - Hey.

- So how did it go? - All right.

So where's Jas?

I don't know.

- Jas? - Hey, Mom.

Hey! So, did you have fun with your Uncle Curtis?

Tons. What's for dinner?

- You didn't eat yet? - No.

You didn't feed her?

You told me to watch her. You didn't say nothing about feeding her.

That's because I thought you had common sense.

Get somebody with some common sense, all right?

'Cause I ain't got enough to deal with that little girl. OK?

Get somebody else 'cause, to be honest, she too weird and moody for me.

Curtis, she's not weird. She's shy.

She's still waiting on her no-good daddy to show up.

She's wearing his watch 24 hours a day.

It wouldn't hurt you if you would just be a little encouraging to her.

I ain't got no encouragement. None!

Go get Dr. Phil or the Dog Whisperer or somebody.

- Not Curtis Plummer. - Can you finish out the week?

Can I at least get paid?

You owe me 25 dollars.

Can you at least feed her the next time?

So, what you gonna want to eat? Hmm?

For dinner? What you like?

Grilled cheese sandwiches? Huh?

What, you still not talking to me?

Why do you want to talk to me? I'm too weird and moody.

You know I didn't mean that.

All right, I don't think you're weird.

I said I'm sorry.

All right, fine, we ain't gotta talk.

Why you carry that stupid football around all the time?

- I don't carry this all the time. - Yeah, you do.

$0?

So... you're a grown man carrying around a football.

Don't you think that's weird?

Not really.

And you stink, too. Always wearing those same old dirty clothes.

Don't you know how to do laundry? You should be embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed to even be with you.

You know what? Five dollars a hour ain't worth dealing with a attitude like that!

Then don't. It's not like I want you around anyway.

- It's not like I want to be around! - Don't be! I don't need you!

Apparently, you do need me. That's what your mama think.

Now I'm stuck with you! That's 'cause your father didn't want to be.

Man... Sorry! God!

Hey, Jasmine, I didn't mean it like that!

Hey, slow down!

- Who are you here for? - Hmm?

Who are you here for?

- Jasmine Plummer. - Oh, great! Come right on in.

OK, class.

I would like to...

I would like to introduce Mr. Plummer.

What are you doing?

Would you like to come up here and tell the kids what you do?

Oh, wait a minute. Hold on.

- Um, I'm her uncle, not her daddy. - Oh.

It's OK. Nuclear family, extended family. It's all family.

So would you still like to talk to the kids, tell them what you do?

- Yeah, I can talk to them. - OK.

Hold that.

OK.

- How y'all doin'? - Fine.

Um...

I do all kinda, like, entrepreneurial endeavors.

Um... You know those nutritional supplements?

OK.

Yeah, I used to sell those.

And, um, you know, I had people all over the world, really,

all kinds of geographical locations. I had a salesmen who, um,

would participate in network marketing.

Don't listen to him.

He tried to get my dad to sell those vitamins.

- He said it's a pyramid scheme. - It's not a pyramid scheme!

It's a, uh, multilevel, uh, business opportunity.

That's a scam! You're a scam artist!

- Your daddy's a punk. - You a punk!

OK, Javy. Mr. Plummer. Can we say thank you to Mr. Plummer, please? Class!

Thank you, Mr. Plummer.

Thank you so much, Mr. Plummer, for taking out the time with the kids.

I'm gonna see you outside, Jasmine.

OK. Yeah, let's just...

You need to give him a F.

- I'll see you outside too. - Thank you, Mr. Plummer.

Thank you, Mr. Plummer.

Jasmine! Jasmine!

Know what? I'm gonna meet you down the block next time.

I ain't going nowhere near that school.

I didn't tell you to come in the first place.

You're using them big words, trying to make yourself sound important.