Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-Head)

THE GREAT CORNHOLIO

Hey Butt-Head, how come we're going to Stewart's house?

'Cause I've heard he's got diarrhea.

Thank you boys for bringing Stewart's homework to school for him.

He's so sick, he spent all night in the bathroom.

Really? Diarrhea?

Yes, I'm afraid so.

Now boys, come on! Say, have you boys eaten breakfast?

I think I did once.

Well, you can't go to school on an empty stomach.

Here, I made some breakfast burritos for Stewart,

but he's not feeling well enough to eat.

- Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! - Yeah! Yeah! Cool!

You boys eat up, I'm going to check on Stewart.

- He probably needs more TP. - Hey Beavis,

you think she's gonna put a thermometer up his butt?

Yeah, and then she's gonna put it in his mouth.

What the hell is this crap?

- This isn't a burrito. - Yeah! I got eggs in mine!

- She tricked us. - No wonder Stewart's got diarrhea.

Let's see what else they have.

This sucks! There's nothing good in here.

Hey buttmunch, give me some.

No way.

Settle down, Beavis.

Pretty cool!

What?

What the hell was that?

What the hell is this?

I think this is Primus.

No. This is the Seminefrious Tubloidial Buttnoids.

Really?

These guys, like, crawl up into people's butts and, like...

go exploring.

I go...

Hey Butt-Head. What are those lights for?

That's so, like, they can see when they're crawling around inside your butt.

- No way. You mean it's dark in your butt? - Yeah.

You know when they say: "Stick it where the sun don't shine"?

They're talking about your butt!

I thought it meant, like, under your pillow, or something.

But like, if it's dark inside your butt,

then like, how do the turds find their way out?

I think they can, like, see in the dark, like bats.

That makes a lot of sense, yeah.

Hey Butt-Head. We should go see these guys in concert.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Seminefrious Tubloidial Buttnoids.

The Seminefrious Tulabloidial Buttnoids have left your pants.

It's ironic that we in this country who cherish freedom,

occasionally support governments

who are less responsive to human rights.

We're very fortunate to have had a very stable government...

What's your problem, Beavis?

Settle down!

...the struggle for freedom is by no means over.

It still goes on today in places like Nicaragua,

- El Salvador and Panama. - Nicaragua! Agua! Aqua for my bunghole!

Bunghole!

- Beavis, please sit down. - Are you threatening me?

- I am Cornholio! - Come on, Beavis, take your seat.

- Now, technically America is not... - Do you have TP? TP for my bunghole?

- Get out of here, Beavis. - Ok.

- In other parts of the world... - I am Cornholio!

I need TP for my bunghole! Bunghole!

Beavis, where are you going?

Where did Beavis go?

That was cool.

I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole.

Yeah.

Hey! Would you like to see my bunghole?

Butt-Head, where did Beavis go?

I don't know.

Is Beavis having some kind of a problem that I should know about?

He ate like, twenty-seven candy bars,

and then he like, drank a six-pack of root beer.

That's strange. I just read about a study that said

sugar isn't supposed to cause hyperactivity.

Yeah, this is gonna be cool, yeah!

I am Cornholio!